


Your Guardian Angel

by demonoverlord



Category: TWICE (Band)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-21
Updated: 2017-11-21
Packaged: 2019-02-04 22:14:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 43,967
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12780687
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/demonoverlord/pseuds/demonoverlord
Summary: "I will never let you fall, I'll stand up with you forever, I'll be there for you through it all."song!fic based on Your Guardian Angel by The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus





	1. Intro

**Author's Note:**

> just me putting [ Your Guardian Angel ](http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/1272016) from aff on ao3 (including the mistakes im too lazy to fix lmao)! 
> 
> (i have more work on there if ur interested!!)

 

\---

 

_When I see your smile_  
_Tears run down my face_  
_I can't replace_

 

-

 

 

"Myoui... Mina?" Nayeon asked. She lifted her face from her food, attempting to tuck her growing bangs behind her ears. "She's supposed to be my lab partner? But I've never heard of her."

"That's because you never come to class, idiot", Jeongyeon commented. 

"I pity her. I would've volunteered to be with you instead, but I'd like to actually graduate uni." Jihyo barely dodged the spoon thrown in her direction.

 

-

 

Nayeon didn't mean to stare. Well, she did, but she also wanted to listen to what Myoui Mina was saying, which didn't seem to be working. 

"... exchange numbers?"

The mid-length brown haired beauty stopped talking. Nayeon frowned at the thought of not being able to see Myoui Mina speak anymore until she realized that Myoui Mina was talking to her and was waiting for a response.

"I.. yes? You're my- I love- love that- that you're my lab partner," Nayeon continued before she can stop herself, "You're beautiful."

Nayeon immediately shut her eyes in embarrassment. Unfortunately, she shut her eyes before she had a chance to see Myoui Mina's light blush. 

 

-

 

"Why do you keep calling me Myoui Mina? I thought we've reached that first-name basis already," Myoui Mina said as she looked up from her laptop. "You know... ever since I started calling you Nayeon from the first time we met."

"Do you have a problem with people calling you by your name, Myoui Mina?" Nayeon teased with a smirk. However, she didn't look up from her laptop. She was careful not to meet Myoui Mina's eyes. She didn't want to stare too long or she would fall even further.

_It's because your first name is beautiful, your last name is beautiful, and you deserve nothing less than people cutting your beautiful name short_ , she thought to herself.

"Am I the only one who calls you Myoui Mina?"

"Other than the professors, my doctor or my mother when she's angry, yes, you are part of the minority who calls me that," Myoui Mina tilted her head in confusion, attempting to understand why Nayeon - or rather, Im Nayeon, since she seems to have a thing for full names - would care about who else calls her by that.

"Ah.. that's not good. I need to find something to call you by that only I would use," Nayeon stopped her typing and finally looked up. She almost choked at how adorable Myoui Mina looked with her furrowed brows. "What if I call you The Myoui Mina instead?"

The amused look Myoui Mina gave her that day, she decided, is something she wouldn't mind seeing every day. 

 

-

 

It didn't take long for Nayeon to become good friends with Myoui Mina (and to stop calling her Myoui Mina, with the excuse of it using up too much of her precious time she would rather use "making Mina smile").

It didn't take long for Nayeon to notice how she dislikes having her forehead in the frame of her selfies. How she even rarely takes selfies. How she puts ketchup on every edible thing. How she squints her eyes when in deep thought, or when she doubts Nayeon's self-proclaimed Professional Charmer title. How she would be tired in the morning not because of late-night studying, but because of one too many hours of video gaming. How she would actually laugh at Nayeon's jokes (much to Jeongyeon and Jihyo's disbelief). It didn't take long for Nayeon to notice that the happier Mina was, the gummier her smile became.

However, it took Nayeon a bit longer to realize the reason as to why the happier Mina was, she was even happier. 

 

\---

 

 


	2. Verse

\---

 

 

_Now that I'm strong I have figured out_

_How this world turns cold_

_And it breaks through my soul_

 

 

-

 

 

Nayeon decided it was time. It's been months now and she was finally going to do it. She's been waiting for too long.

"Go drinking with her or something. That'll break some barriers, if you know what I'm saying," Jeongyeon's finger guns pointed towards Nayeon was only reciprocated with rolled eyes.

"But she's not a drinker. She's just a sweet, kind, little-" Nayeon started, head rested on her hands in a dream-like state.

"Goddess of a human being, yeah, yeah, we've heard it all, Yeon," Jeongyeon interrupted and continued in a playfully mocking tone, "Please confess now so I won't have to hear about 'her innocent looking smile' or how 'each strand of her hair shines in the sunlight when she turns around' for another hour of my life."

Before Nayeon and Jeongyeon can fight over who can make the most annoying mocking noises, or rather who can give her the biggest headache, Jihyo decided to handle it once and for all.

"Listen, Nayeon, I'm only telling you this because I know you too well, but Jeongyeon, unfortunately, is right. And _before_ -," Jihyo glared at Nayeon who was about to contest, "you question me, we all know you wouldn't have the guts to say anything without a few shots of alcohol."

"Wah... God Jihyo agreed with me. Call me Jesusyeon from now on."

Jihyo gave up on them both.

 

 

-

 

 

Nayeon spent almost a week mostly on her phone or just napping. She was well aware that finals were approaching, but recieving a message from her cute Mina was more important. She woke up after every nap (she should really be studying) hoping to see a little (1) next to Mina's contact name. Unfortunately, her hopes were shattered every time, so she tried for another nap. 

She hasn't spoken to or seen Mina in a few days. Mina was actually a studious individual in comparison to her. She fully understood Mina would be busy, but Nayeon missed her. She missed seeing her smile, when her eyes curved into those crescent shapes she loved.

_"They're like little half-moons. But they shine as bright as a full moon, you know." She had told her friends at the cafeteria for the 50th time. Jeongyeon wanted to hit her across the head, but was scared Nayeon would only reply with something just as cheesy as "only Mina can hit me across the head"._

Nayeon wanted to know if Mina smiled or laughed lately, not necessarily at her FaceBook tags, but at anything that Nayeon believed would be good to relieve her stress even for a second. _Am i being too clingy or too weird? Why am I more worried for her well-being than my own academic results?_ She laughed at herself.

Frustration took over her. Finals were ending soon and it was the perfect time to ask Mina out for a drink. She wanted to ask in person, because she convinced herself that that was a valid reason to see Mina. _Oh my god, I should really be studying,_ she mentally scolded herself. She swore she heard Jihyo's voice agreeing with her.

 

 

-

 

 

Too much time has passed - a day to be exact - for Nayeon to take it anymore. Nayeon got off from her bed and was about to text Mina until she was surprised to have received a text instead.

 

**[2:14 pm][My. Mina]** Are you going to the end of semester party our program organized?

 

She cursed herself for taking a nap and not seeing this earlier. But was she reading this correctly? _Mina_ and _party_ in the same text?

 

**[5:38 pm][me]** r u?

 

She knew of the party her lab class was planning. The whole class was invited for a night out at the club to celebrate the end of exams and stress. What she didn't get is why Mina, her sweet little Mina, would be interested in it.

 

**[5:42 pm][My. Mina]** You didn't answer my question.

**[5:43 pm][My. Mina]** I was wondering if you wanted to go together? You know, so we can both breathe after all this work... Or so I can breathe since you probably haven't been studying. :P

 

Nayeon felt it was weird. (She also felt offended from the not-studying remark, but it was Mina so she let it slide.) She knew Mina, the completely sober-(and beautiful)-reserved-and-would-rather-spend-her-nights-gaming-(and also beautiful) Mina, wasn't the type to suddenly ask this. Maybe the school work has really gotten into Mina and she really just wanted to go out. Nayeon decided she was just overthinking everything, and used this golden opportunity to accept. Jihyo was right, she needed a drink. But then again, Jihyo is always right.

 

**[5:46 pm][me]** excuse u, if u must know im studying chapter 5 rn :P but u wouldnt know coz i havent seen u in so long :(

**[5:46 pm][me]** and yes i would love to come, but know that i accepted out of my own will and not because a beauty like u asked me *smug face emoji x 4*

 

Nayeon fell back into her bed in annoyance with herself. She couldn't count how many times she lost her usually cool composure due to Mina. She recalled the time she almost dropped a test tube in their first lab class when she just saw Mina tying her hair up in a ponytail. _I should've only put one smug face emoji_ , she facepalmed inwardly.

 

**[5:47 pm][My. Mina]** Chapter 5 isn't on the exam, dummy.

 

Nayeon loudly groaned at herself, but her face istantly lit up when she recieved the next message.

 

**[5:48 pm][My. Mina]** But I'll see you then, Nayeon. :)

 

 

-

 

 

She looked beautiful. Even more than usual. Nayeon didn't believe she passed her exams for her to be able to see Mina like this. She didn't know Mina knew how to even put on eyeliner. Or that she owned a top that hugged her torso so well, not that she was looking. Nayeon didn't believe it was possible to be more in love. Did she just say love?

She didn't know Mina had a high tolerance, surprisingly higher than Nayeon's. And before Nayeon knew it, she found herself walking (stumbling) towards Mina after her little prep talk with Jeongyeon and Jihyo.

 

Nayeon didn't know anything. She didn't know how soft Mina's bare waist felt between her arms. She didn't know Mina would wrap her own slender arms around Nayeon's neck. She didn't know she was leaning into an equally as drunk Mina - drunk off alcohol, drunk in love, whichever. Nayeon didn't know how it was possible to only hear Mina's lovely voice amongst the loud music and shouts surrounding them. What she did know, however, is that she should cherish this before she-

 

"My mother died from a heart attack earlier this week." Nayeon instantly stopped as she heard it. It was a whisper. It was so _fragile_. Like how Mina's body suddenly felt in Nayeon's hands.

 

Nayeon suddenly didn't know anything. She didn't know Mina was crying until she looked up from her lips to her eyes. She didn't know why Mina was forcing herself to smile, why her crescent moons were suddenly so stiff, so unnatural.

"I'm... I'm sorry, Nayeon, I... I'm sorry for ignoring you," Mina's smile quivered as she attempted to stop crying, "for-for asking you to get drunk with me to get over this... I should've known you would be there for me."

Nayeon really didn't know anything. She didn't know how fast the bright light that was once in Mina's eyes could disappear so quickly. She didn't know that hearing her name in Mina's shaky voice could break her that much.

Nayeon didn't know she was leaning in that night, because she wasn't the one who leaned in first.

 

 

-

 

 

"I heard you denied Jinyoung the other day," Jihyo stated before separating her wooden chopsticks, "I guess you guys are officially together now?"

"Oh my god, Jihyo please don't mentio-," Jeongyeon, distracted by the delicious looking california roll in front of her, warned her a little too late.

"Just _look_ at her!" Nayeon had somehow managed to whip out her phone at the speed of light, just in time to show Jihyo proof of their relationship. It was a selfie, taken by an ecstatic-looking Nayeon, with a blushing Mina by her side about to give her a kiss on the cheek.

"I'm so proud of you, Yeon," Jihyo said, pretending to wipe a fake tear from her eyes, "Even if you didn't have the courage to do it while sober."

"Yah! Can't you guys take another picture already? This is the only one you keep showing to everyone," Jeongyeon teased, reaching out to give Nayeon's phone back to her.

"One picture is better than none, but I guess you wouldn't know," Nayeon taunted, with a small chuckle of victory.

Jeongyeon quickly pulled back the hand that was holding Nayeon's phone and dangled it over the grill, attempting to take her revenge.

Jihyo didn't know what was louder, Nayeon's screams of terror or Jeongyeon's manic laughter. Jihyo just wanted to eat peacefully for once.

 

 

-

 

 

Their first "I love you"s weren't as extravagant as you would think. Well, it depends on how you want to look at it. It was more uttered by accident by a relieved Nayeon, who prayed to the Gods for Mina's existence.  

 

Nayeon was, as per usual, taking a nap on one of the chairs of Jihyo's balcony. She had reached down to grab the phone she left on the balcony floor. She had instead pushed her phone off and shrieked in panic, because she realized that she can't really jump off the second floor's balcony to catch it. Luckily for Nayeon, Mina, her sweet little Mina, was just about to enter the building. She heard Nayeon's awful scream from below and looked up to see an object about to fall on the ground. She judged by Nayeon's behavior that it was probably for the best to catch the foreign object, which she did.

 

"Oh my God, Mina, I love you so much." Nayeon breathed out, catching her breath. 

"What did you say?" Mina said loudly from the ground. Nayeon blushed. She just realized what she said. She then took advantage of the fact Mina didn't hear her to gather up her courage and to say it again, to confirm it. _Oh god, I hope she says it back_ , she thought, _I look like a fool already_.

"I love you, Mina," Nayeon said loud enough for her to hear.

There was a pause. Mina was looking at her straight in the eyes. Nayeon wasn't sure if Mina had heard her or she was finding a way to reject her or-

"I love you too, Nayeon."

"... uh...You... You what?" Nayeon was taken aback. She heard it. She had clearly heard it. She heard every syllable, every word, every movement of Mina's lips. But she couldn't believe she heard it correctly. _Did she really... say it back?_ she thought, she hoped.

 

"You heard me."

Nayeon's phone didn't get to fall today, it was Nayeon falling for Mina instead. 

 

 

-

 

 

Nayeon found herself crying to sleep one night. She was confused, but more importantly she was _angry_. Angry at her family, angry at herself for putting her feelings before Mina's.

 

_"Jinyoung's mother told me what he saw."_

 

She felt selfish and betrayed. How could she be crying for herself, and not for Mina? How could she be sad for herself, when she could be happy with Mina instead?

 

_"I trust it was just a one time thing, Im Nayeon. You girls were both drunk, that's it."_

 

The voices didn't stop. She couldn't let them hurt her. How could the family she loved so much say such awful things?

 

_"Don't do this again. That Mina girl is a bad influence."_

 

Nayeon couldn't believe it. She finally found her light, her happiness. She found someone who would catch her when her bad leg acts up on her, who made sure she ate in between naps, whose sole presence can make her day. She found someone she wanted to give flowers to every day, to protect from the world, to care for, to remind to sleep during long hours of studying or gaming. She found someone to just... to just love. She couldn't let her own family stain what she felt.

 

_"Girls shouldn't be kissing other girls."_

 

Nayeon turned over in her bed. She made sure her back was facing her door, so no one, not even Mina, would hear her silent weeping.

 

\---

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> P.S. some "emotional" moments werent really meant to have some big buildup, it was just written for like little important snapshots of their lives


	3. Pre-Chorus

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BIG P.S.***  
> in the original story on aff i forgot i killed off mina's mom when i wrote the next few chaps and i dont rlly wanna touch anything to fix it so,,, just yeah just... keep that in mind

\---

 

 

_And I know_

_I'll find deep inside me_

_I can be the one_

 

 

-

 

 

"Is this the last box? Please tell me it's the last box," Jeongyeon huffed out, wiping the sweat from behind her golden blonde fringe.

"Jihyo's driving back with another load," Nayeon screamed from the balcony, "Yah! Don't sit on that, it says fragile for a reason!"

"Why are we doing this while Mina is busy at work? She could've helped us moving you in."

 

Nayeon stuck her tongue out before going back into the appartment. She took out a little framed polaroid out of one of the boxes in the living room. No one really frames polaroids, but Mina does, so ultimately Nayeon does as well. The picture captured the lovely couple in their graduation gowns, holding each other and completely enamoured by one another. They were staring at each other with so much love that Nayeon always felt like it happened just yesterday every time she looked at it.

They were both 24 now, and had everything arranged so they could live in an appartment together. There was only one bedroom, to which Jeongyeon joked about how Nayeon, whipped as she is, would be the one who would sleep on the couch if ever Mina got mad. Nayeon was excited. She was finally living with her girlfriend, which means she could see her more often. Jeongyeon wouldn't understand. She was doing all the work now so her Mina wouldn't need to tire herself. All her work would be worth it once Mina comes home, to their home, with a smile on her face. If Mina was happy, then she was happy.

 

"I see you, no, I _feel_ your whipped ass smiling from here, Im Nayeon," Jihyo said as she got out of her car. "You probably got all of this done so Mina will not need to."

"Oho, is that why you called us instea- YAH! DID YOU JUST TRY TO SPIT ON ME?" Jeongyeon exclaimed from below, hands shielding her head, "I wasn't the one who said it, YAH!"

When she deemed her job in scaring Jeongyeon was done, she walked back in towards their front door. Nayeon finally opted to place the framed picture of themselves so it would be the first thing they would see as they come in. She agreed with herself that it would increase the chances of Mina's smile being more prominent than it would've been.

 

 

-

 

 

"We're not using a transparent shower curtain as a duvet, Nyeon." (a/n no i didnt mispell nayeon, i just thought nyeon was a cute nickname like try saying it out loud its cute, cute nyeonnyeon is cute)

"C'mon babe, it'll be hot, in more ways than one," Nayeon winked back at her from behind the curtain. She watched as her girlfriend, now sporting a darker brown dye for her hair, let out a sigh and simply walked towards the actual duvet aisle. Mina was just wearing a simple white tee loosely tucked into her skinny jeans, but Nayeon thought it was a sight to see. Mina wearing anything was a sight to see. (She restrained herself from thinking that Mina wearing nothing was also a sight to see.) 

 

They were shopping for new bed and pillow covers, as Nayeon mistakenly forgot to cover their bed when she was repainting their room by herself. She thought Mina wouldn't notice when she attempted to flip the covers inside out to try to hide the stains. The truth is that Mina, in fact, did not notice. What she did notice was Nayeon's nervous behaviour every time the covers fell from over, or every time Mina lifted the covers while getting in and out of bed. There was also the fact that Nayeon actually made the bed. Nayeon never made the bed.

 

"This is why I keep telling you not to do things by yourself. I want to have fun painting with you as well," Mina hummed as she scanned the aisle for something to catch her eye.

"Oh, this one would look great on our bed," Mina heard Nayeon say behind her as she felt their hands separate. She turned around only to face a smug looking Nayeon forming her infamous flower pose. Both of her hands were under her face, indicating that Nayeon herself would look good on their bed. Mina let out a small smile and slowly approached her borderline narcissistic girlfriend. She gently tugged on Nayeon's collar to bring her closer.

"You _would_ look great on our bed," Mina softly agreed, lips inching towards Nayeon's, but made their way to her ear instead. Mina's sweet perfume completely engulfed her.

"We should pick white covers," Mina hotly whispered into Nayeon's ear, "but paint isn't what's going to stain it this time."

Nayeon doesn't know how many beats her heart just skipped at that moment. The now smirking Mina took pride in how easier it was dragging around a now blushing Nayeon around the store, never letting go of her hand.

 

 

-

 

 

Nayeon forgot that the whole "introducing you to my family" thing was part of being in a relationship. She tried to avoid the topic as much as she could, but the inevitable happened. She had met Mina's parents. Her parents loved Nayeon.

_"Obviously," Nayeon stated, matter-of-factly. Which earned a smile and playful slap on the arm by Mina._

Nayeon knew Mina's parents would be as beautiful and kind as their daughter.

_"Obviously," Mina stated, matter-of-factly. Which earned a smile and a playful peck on the lips by Nayeon._ _"But I agree with them about your bangs. You should really grow them out or just cut them, Nyeon. They just get in your way, and in my way as well." Another peck on the lips by Nayeon. Nayeon just couldn't resist her._

The only problem is that now Mina wanted to meet hers.

 

 

-

 

 

Nayeon avoided the question. She avoided Mina whenever the word "parents" would come out of her mouth. Well, she could never avoid Mina, but she did leave a bit earlier for work whenever Mina uttered the word, or pretended to lose signal on the phone, or used the excuse that her family was always busy, or suddenly felt the need to makeout with her (which always led to their bed, where Mina moaned in ecstasy and Nayeon in half ecstasy-half reassurance that she escaped the situation), or-

 

_"Are you ashamed of me?"_

 

Nayeon was surprised that that question came sooner than she thought. Obviously, Nayeon was definitely not ashamed of her. She would show her to the world if she could. But how could she tell Mina, her sweet Mina, that her parents weren't fond of her? How could she tell her lovely Mina that her parents didn't even know of her relationship, and that they thought Nayeon moved in with Jeongyeon and Jihyo? But she couldn't keep lying to Mina, so the truth eventually came out.

 

_"Just pretend you're friends or something, then when your parents come to love her, they might be more accepting of your relationship," Jeongyeon suggested._

 

She had told Mina of the suggestion. She was as relunctant as Nayeon, but they both agreed that it was a start. It wasn't what they wanted, but they had thought it was a more peaceful way, other than Nayeon breaking into her old house threatening her family to accept her for who she is.

However, Nayeon noticed that Mina was getting more and more against the idea as time went on. She noticed how painful it felt to restrain their hand-holding, their small touches, their urges to just kiss or hug each other when her parents were around. She noticed Mina barely looked at her every time Nayeon's parents invited them over. She noticed the hint of jealousy in Mina's kind eyes and the forced smile on her lips when her parents talked about how Jinyoung would be a perfect man for Nayeon, how they didn't understand why she hasn't given him a chance. She noticed how her family wasn't coming to love Mina, they were just urgently trying to shoo her off. She hated it as well, but she wasn't about to give up just yet.

 

"They invited you to be my plus one at my aunt's wedding," Nayeon said, leaning against the doorway of their kitchen. She spent a lot of time convincing her family to let her bring Mina, so she was determined on getting her to agree. She read the invitation her mother sent to her to Mina, who had paused her dish-washing, but was still facing back to Nayeon.

"I love you Nayeon, but we both know I'm not welcome there," Mina breathed out, a hint of sadness tainting her voice. "I'm surprised they didn't ask Jinyoung to be your plus one."

Nayeon walked closer to her girlfriend and wrapped her in a backhug. She placed her head unto Mina's warm back to feel her heartbeat against her cheek. She could fall asleep right there if she wanted to.

"He's one of the guests as well, isn't he?" Mina tensed up as she said that, but seemed to force herself relax once she realized Nayeon felt everything. Nayeon wished she could make Mina's hurting stop. 

"I'll make sure I'll stay by your side throughout the whole night, babe," Nayeon reassured her, snuggling closer.

"That won't help the stares and weird looks I'll get from the rest of your family."

"Don't worry, I'll protect you," Nayeon placed a soft kiss on the back of Mina's neck, "And I'm sure I can protect you even harder if you wore that nice dress your mom gave you."

Mina knew Nayeon was grinning from behind her. She gave up and turned around to face Nayeon, cupping her squishy cheeks. She can finally see Nayeon's eyes clearer now that she trimmed her bangs. "Fine. But I'm not wearing that dress because you told me to, I'm doing it out of my own will..."

"Mhmm," Nayeon hummed into Mina's lips, leaning closer to trap Mina between her and the kitchen counter. "Now you'll get stared at for a different reason."

 

 

-

 

 

It was their first fight. Well, it was their first big fight, if you didn't count the time they fought over where Nayeon's lava lamp should be placed. It almost ended up with the contents of the lava lamp splayed across their floor instead.

 

On the wedding night, Nayeon came back to their table only to find Mina gone. She had ran to the exit of the building, hoping to catch Mina before she left with their car. She reached their still parked car only to realize that Mina, her caring Mina, had taken a taxi home instead.

 

_"Where did she go?" Nayeon nervously had asked her mother, who was sitting next to Mina's designated seat._

_"I had a little talk with her, Nayeon. I guess it was a little too much for her to handle."_

 

Her mother's voice rang in her ears as she drove as fast as she could home. She probably looked ridiculous, running in and out the dining room with her dress on for her keys. She knew she should've stayed with Mina when her family basically dragged her out of her seat to have a small dance with Jinyoung. She knew she shouldn't have left her, despite Mina telling her it's alright. When she saw her mother talking to Mina, she should've rushed by her side. She should've known her mother would make a move now that Mina was alone. _Mina knows there's nothing between Jinyoung and I_ , Nayeon panicked, _What did my mom tell her?_

Nayeon felt her vision starting to blur. She was tearing up. This is the first real argument she and Mina had and she didn't like how it felt. And she felt even worse thinking about how Mina would feel knowing it was all Nayeon's fault. She had promised Mina that she would stay by her side, that she would protect her. She had broken that promise simply because Mina told her it was fine. Simply because she didn't take Mina's feelings into consideration. Simply because she didn't have the courage to speak up to her family. Mina deserved someone better than her. Tears and snot were staining her new dress, but she didn't care.

 

"Mina, wait!" Nayeon had reached her just in time, as she saw Mina entering their appartment. She made it inside before Mina could shut the door on her.

"Hey! Hey...," Nayeon grabbed her wrist and pulled her closer as softly as she could, "Hey, Mina... hey... please look at me..." Nayeon used her free hand to hold one side of Mina's face, who was refusing to look up.

"I don't know what my mother said, but please look at me...," Nayeon pleaded, "There's nothing between Jinyoung and I and there never will be, alright? I have you, I'll always have you, okay?"

 

Mina didn't say anything. Mina wasn't much of a talker, and knowing that she probably didn't talk back when her mother spoke to her, it broke her even more. Nayeon felt Mina's tears run down her face, and she felt her own coming up again. She had hurt Mina.

 

"I'm sorry for leaving you there, I'm-" Nayeon started.

"I'm not _mad_ at you leaving me, Nayeon!" Mina shook off Nayeon's grasp on her, "I told you it was perfectly fine since I trusted you and I... I know there was nothing between you two, I just..."

 

There were only the dim street lights outside that illuminated their home. Nayeon couldn't see Mina's face clearly, but she could see her silhouette wiping her face with her bare arms. She could hear her faint sniffling and her attempts at calming herself down in the darkness. Nayeon lowered her hands at her sides and waited for her to continue. Mina was generally very articulate with her words, but it was another thing when she got flustered. So Nayeon waited. Even if it took all night, she would stand there waiting for Mina.

 

"I shouldn't be... Be feeling like this. I know I shouldn't force you to come out to your family, of course not, but I'm," Mina expressed, gaze fixed on the floor, "Am I.. Did you-you even want to let your parents know about our relationship in the first place?" A silence. A sniffle. Nayeon knew she wasn't done. "Or... or were you just gunna go on without telling them and keep  _hiding_ me from them for the rest of your life?!"

"Mina, they're-" Nayeon attempted.

"Yes, yes I know, Nayeon, I _know_!" Mina cried out, "They're homophobic! They don't like me! They don't like you being around me! They... they don't... I don't... I don't want to do this anymore."

"We can try, Mina, we... I know they'll end up accepting you one day, so please-" Nayeon tried to reach out to her.

"Accepting _me_? Babe, I don't care what they think of me at the moment, they need to learn to accept who _you_ are first." Mina seethed, making Nayeon retract her hands. "You love your family, I get it, I really do, but I'm just so.. so sick of hiding everything..."    

 

Nayeon could see it.

 

"You said you wanted to show me to everyone, right?" Mina's voice lowered, but still stared straight at Nayeon with as much intensity, "Don't you think I feel the same way, too, Nayeon? Don't you think I... I want to show you to the world, too?"

 

Nayeon could see how much Mina loved her.

 

"Did you think I was too blind not to notice how our 'plan' wasn't working on your family? Were you too blind to notice... to notice how much of this I endured just for you, for your hope of this working out? Were you too blind to notice how many times I had to hold myself back from holding your hand, from kissing you, from even _calling_ your name in fear of your family detecting the smallest sign of us being more than... than friends?" Mina was slightly panting. She wasn't used to talking this much. "Nayeon, I'm... I'm sorry for feeling this way, I'm..."

"Don't be sorry, please do not be sorry for this, Mina," Nayeon quietly reassured Mina, taking a tentative step forward. When she didn't move or back away, she continued approaching Mina, her considerate and loving Mina, and wrapped her in a tight hug. "It's entirely my fault for this, I'm so so sorry you had to deal with everything."

When Mina's arms stiffly remained at her side, unresponding to the hug, Nayeon, although hurt, continued.

"Please, Mina, what did my mom tell you?" Nayeon knew she had hurt Mina, and she wished she would never see her so broken again. But her mother was also at fault, and Nayeon wanted to know what she had done wrong so she can make it right. She wanted to know what can hurt Mina like this so she could get rid of it forever. She didn't like this feeling. She didn't like it at all. Nayeon heard a small sigh and felt her girlfriend's arms slowly pushing her away.

"I'm tired, Nayeon... I'm just going to rest for tonight..."

Nayeon regrettably let her go and watched her walk away. She really wanted to sort this out as soon as possible, because that means less time they both spend being hurt. It means less time Mina spends being hurt. But she knew Mina was tired, tired of this drama or tired in general, and Nayeon was tired too.

 

"Goodnight, Mina," Nayeon whispered once they got into bed. She didn't hear a reply.

She didn't know how used to Mina's warmth she was until it was gone.

It was their first fight, and she didn't like the cold empty space she can feel between them.    

 

 

\---

 


	4. Chorus

\---

 

 

_I will never let you fall_

_I'll stand up with you forever_

_I'll be there for you through it all_

_Even if saving you sends me to heaven_

 

 

-

 

 

Nayeon woke up to a made-up space on the bed. Still in a daze, she stared at what should've been Mina's head resting on the pillow for a while, taking in all the events that happened just a few hours ago.

 

_"Did you even want to let your parents know about our relationship in the first place?"_

 

Of course. Of course she did. She wanted to show Mina off to them first, and tell them how she finally found a bit of motivation in her disappointing life. She wanted them to be happy for her, to congratulate her, to support her. She wanted her parents to love Mina almost as much as she does (because Nayeon loves her the most). Instead, she got... this. She got disappointment, judgement, denial. She got Mina hurt due to her, once again, "lazy" efforts in trying to make it work.   

She soothed the creases out and her hand lingered long enough to feel how cold it was. Mina had been gone for longer than she thought. It was a weekend, so she didn't have work. A sudden thought came to her and she nervously rushed out of bed to check if Mina's things were still there. _She wouldn't leave because of that argument, right?_

Relieved at seeing Mina's toothbrush, clothes, shoes, bags and whatnot still there, she lazily jumped back on the bed, legs dangling out on the side. She shut her eyes, but quickly opened them up again once she realized all she could hear was Mina's shattered voice.

 

_"Or... or were you just gunna go on without telling them and keep hiding me from them for the rest of your life?!"_

 

"Ahhhhhh, what am I going to do..." she loudly whined.  

She scrolled through her notifications on her phone only to find texts from Jeongyeon about how it went, and from Jihyo asking for a picture of their dresses. Nothing from Mina. No calls, no texts. Not even a little note at home about where she went. Of course, Nayeon wasn't that type of girlfriend who wanted to know where Mina was 24/7, even if Mina did tell her most of the time where she was going. However, considering what had happened, Nayeon was worried, but she decided that it was best to let Mina be for now. It left her some time alone to think about what she could do to make everything better again. Although she already had a vague idea of what can solve everything. 

She didn't want to keep going to sleep and waking up without Mina's presence beside her. After a few moments of deliberating and arguing with herself, she opted for her initial answer to this whole situation. She was...

She took a deep breath.  _Oh God, I really_ am _gunna do this, huh_.

... going to come out to her parents. She was going to come out, and not care about what they were going to say. She was going to ask them to accept her for who she is and what she has for Mina or... or else...

Nayeon didn't know what she would do after that. She still needed some time to build up the courage for what she was about to do now. She knew it was going to end badly, but there was still a small piece of hope in her. A small piece of hope that Nayeon now kept for every bad situation, because Mina made her believe in hope.

 

_"Don't you think I feel the same way, too, Nayeon?"_

 

Just thinking of Mina and her smile that she already missed so much was enough for Nayeon to immediately make her way to her parent's house. 

 

_"Don't you think I... I want to show you to the world, too?"_

 

For Mina, Nayeon would do anything.

 

 

-

 

 

Mina came home in the evening to Nayeon, somehow awkardly, reading a book on the living room couch. Nayeon was just reading a book, but the vibe she was giving off was really, once again, awkward. It was almost as if Nayeon had quickly grabbed a book once Mina came in to hide the fact that she was waiting for her. Nayeon had something to say, Mina was sure of it. The mood had lightened up a bit from last night, and the poor long-haired girl looked like she hasn't slept, so Mina chose to speak up to Nayeon out of sympathy. Mina was also secretly amused at how Nayeon was trying her best to pretend like she wasn't internally screaming at herself to look natural.

 

"Are you alright?" Mina attempted.

_Dang it, of course she would catch me, I don't look natural enough_ , Nayeon figured.

"I, uh," Nayeon said, as she put down the book she was obviously not reading and got up. Nayeon didn't know where to start. Mina was now standing in the living room and raised her eyebrows, waiting for her to say something. When the sufficiently uncomfortable silence continued, Nayeon decided to just tell her directly.

"I'm sorry I overreacted-"

"I came out to my parents-"

"Wait, _what_?"

"What?"

 

They both stopped talking and stared at each other, incredulous. They were confused. Nayeon was confused, because Mina shouldn't be apologizing. Mina was confused, because Nayeon just... Did Nayeon just say that?

 

"Don't apologize, please," Nayeon sighed, "We've been through this last night."

Nayeon could see that Mina wanted to object, but gave up as she thought it was for the best to let the subject go for now. Mina was more interested in another topic that just got revealed.

"Your parents..." Mina began.

Nayeon thought hard. Was she going to tell Mina the whole truth...

 

_"Mom, Dad, I decided to let you know that I'm... I'm gay."_

 

"I came out to them today."

 

_"I'm gay and I love Mina and nothing can make me stop loving her."_

 

"What did they say?" Mina slowly approached her, indicating that Nayeon had her full support. Nayeon felt the tension of last night slowly dissipating, and she was relieved.

But Nayeon wasn't going to say much. She decided it was something that she would rather keep to herself. She wasn't going to tell her lovely Mina the atrocities her parents threw at her.

 

_"Disgusting..."_

 

Nayeon wasn't going to let her sweet Mina know how she drove back home with tears in her eyes. How she completely broke down as soon as she entered their appartment.

 

_"You don't deserve to be called our daughter."_

 

"Oh, they took it badly, as you would expect," Nayeon said, trying to brush it off as if it wasn't serious. Trying to brush it off as if she hadn't spent the last few hours trying to hide her red eyes.

 

_"Get out! Get out of this house right now!"_

 

"Nayeon..." Mina soflty said, taking one of Nayeon's hands into hers. Nayeon cherished the touch. She had missed Mina's warmth so much. She never wanted to let go.

"But it's alright now! They... they know now, and I've now officially shown you to the world! Well, not the _whole_ world, but... my world... at least," Nayeon rambled. She forced herself to smile, hoping Mina wouldn't notice.

 

But Nayeon made another mistake and underestimated her girlfriend. Because as soon as Mina noticed something was wrong, she immediately wrapped Nayeon in a hug. Of course Mina would notice. Of course Mina would hold unto Nayeon so tightly as if she was trying to squeeze out all of her worries from her. Of course Mina would try to reassure her, to comfort her, to tell her everything was alright now, that she wasn't mad anymore. Of course Nayeon would feel so safe and so _loved_ in Mina's arms. Of course.

 

 

-

 

 

"Babe, can you get me a towel? I forgot to bring one in here!" Nayeon shouted from the bathroom shower. "Hello?" No one was answering her.

 

Wet and tired of shouting, she gave up and exited the bathroom to get herself one. She groaned inwardly at how she was now wetting the floor with her footsteps and her dripping hair. She was about to go back to the bathroom when she heard the faint noises of a mouse clicking and Mina's voice. _Oh God, no wonder she couldn't hear me, she was gaming._

Then it hit her. A sly smile took over Nayeon, who had thought of a great idea for a small revenge. 

She walked over to their room, only dressed in a towel and body more or less still soaked, to their desk where her cute little gamer was playing. Mina, wearing her headset, didn't hear her approaching. 

"What are you playing?" Nayeon said loud enough for Mina to notice her presence. Mina had moved one side of her headphones to have one free ear to hear Nayeon, but kept her eyes on the screen.

"Hm?"

"I said, what are you playing?"

"Oh, I'm just pla-" Mina felt something dripping on her arm, so she turned to what seemed to be the source of it. It was Nayeon, who was bent down low enough to see the computer screen and, fortunately and unfortunately for Mina, low enough for her (damp) cleavage to show, "-yING! U-uh, I-I'm-"

Mina opened her eyes wide in shock, and Nayeon used this opportunity to fully straddle Mina in her chair.

"Babe, I'm in... in g-game," was all Mina could let out, as her literally soaking wet girlfriend was blocking her screen.

"In what?" Nayeon slowly articulated, somehow managing to sound both innocent and seductive at the same time. Nayeon began tracing the outline of Mina's jaw, while her other hand reached under her shirt.

"In... I'm..."

"Baby, the _only_ thing," Nayeon whispered, covering Mina's neck in wet kisses between every word, "you need to be in right now is me."

Nayeon's mischievous smile couldn't describe how amused she was. She loved how Mina looked torn between playing her game and playing along with Nayeon. She loved how Mina tensed up, how her voice wavered every time Nayeon touched her somewhere new. Mina soon got too distracted. She found herself biting her lip and gripping onto Nayeon's thighs trying to prevent herself from moaning into her headset. Nayeon could even hear Mina's teammates over her headset calling out to Mina. 

"Pingu, where are you?" "Did you lag out?" "Pingu, we need you here, he just one-shotted me!"

That seemed to snap Mina out of her daze. But Nayeon wasn't going to let it happen. If Nayeon couldn't reach Mina when she was calling out to her earlier, then neither were her teammates. As soon as Nayeon saw Mina about to reach for her mouse, she immediately caught her in a deep kiss. It successfully stopped the gamer in her tracks.

"Where do _you_ think you're going, baby?" Nayeon panted out between their makeout session. "Were you really going to leave me for your little game?" Nayeon was basically slowly grinding unto Mina at this point. "Were you really going to leave me wanting, baby?"

Nayeon really hated herself. She was only here to mess with Mina, but she ended up slightly getting turned on instead. It didn't help that Mina looked flushed and aroused as well, since she was having more and more trouble restraining certain... inappropriate sounds.

Nayeon suddenly heard a loud explosion from Mina's headset, and watched as Mina frantically removed her tongue from Nayeon's mouth and looked at her screen that was displaying a large "DEFEAT" in red.

"Nayeon, you..." Mina sighed out in defeat. Mina stared at her complacent girlfriend on top of her and decided it was her turn for revenge. She was about to reach out for Nayeon, until the girl hopped off and ran straight to the bathroom.

"Sorry, babe, I just showered!" Nayeon winked back at her, snickering.

Mina couldn't believe it. She was left with a lost game, soaked pants, and an insane girlfriend. Mina sighed out in defeat once again. 

 

 

-

 

 

Their third anniversary was coming up soon. Nayeon decided to up her gift-giving game this summer. For their last anniversary, she had bought them two large bed pillows, where one was marked with "princess" and the other with "queen". As whipped as Nayeon was, everyone knew which pillow belonged to who. 

 

This year, Nayeon, much to everyone's disbelief, was going to take Mina on a short "camping" weekend trip. Nayeon called it "camping" only to look considerably brave to her friends, but in reality she just booked a small cabin at a luxurious resort. Her friends were somewhat relieved, they knew Nayeon wouldn't dare go camping even if it was for Mina.

 

The resort they were going to had cabins that were isolated and held up by posts over the beautiful and clear water (a/n think abt the resort where kim kardashian lost her diamond earring and kourtney in the background saying "kim, there's people that are dying"). Nayeon thought it was the perfect getaway from all the stress Mina was dealing with at work. She even tried to make Mina promise not to get her anything for the anniversary and to let Nayeon handle everything. But Mina, bless her kind heart, gifted her an expensive DSLR camera for her to take pictures of everything, since Nayeon seemed to get distracted by everything. 

Once they had arrived, Nayeon swore Mina's smile and pure joy were worth the travel. She watched in awe as everything from the small flowers in the front garden to the sound of the waves crashing unto the white sand filled Mina with more and more happiness. Nayeon wasn't even looking at the view, she's seen everything on the website already. Nayeon was looking at someone more important than the view, someone more important than the long hours she worked to pay for this trip, someone more important, if she was going to be honest, than herself. She admired how Mina's smile seemed to be brighter and brought her more warmth than the sun itself. Everything seemed to move in slow motion until Nayeon felt Mina giving her a small peck on the lips, which snapped her out of her daze. 

"You're too much," Mina said, smile still present on her lips.

"Only for the best," Nayeon teased, playfully swatting away Mina's hand that was trying to grab her own share of the luggages, "Do you love it?"

"I love _you_ ," Mina replied, after a short pause.

"That wasn't the question."

"I know. But that's my answer to everything." 

 

 

-

 

 

They had stayed for the whole weekend. Nayeon had everything planned out, and left some space for Mina to suggest some things as well. She had realized that it was definitely a mistake.

 

_Nayeon couldn't believe it. She couldn't believe she was standing basically 150 meters above the ground. She couldn't believe she was only attached by a very flexible but strong string that was supposedly going to "stop them from slamming into the ground", they joked. Nayeon, however, was also attached to Mina, who looked like she was enjoying herself._

_"Mina, babe, you know, it's not too late to back out now," Nayeon's voice trembled, "I know you're p-probably scared and everything."_

_"Babe, you're speaking as if I wasn't the one who suggested bungee jumping," Mina said in amusement. She found it cute how Nayeon was trying to mask her fear with bravery, like how she threatened the workers about how they had insurance and that she'll haunt them in the afterlife. Nayeon then felt Mina cup her face and eagerly gave her a final kiss that distracted her long enough to not notice that they have been pushed off._

 

Nayeon wanted to hide every time she looked back at how loud she shrieked. Never again. Unfortunately, it was the same when Mina had suggested scuba diving. Nayeon loved sealife, she really did. She thought it was beautiful and should be kept untouched. And so she accepted it with less relunctance than bungee jumping, but finally realized it was preferable to admire everything from afar.

 

_Nayeon felt a fish squirming about on her left arm. No, on her right arm. No, it was now making its way to her left leg. No wait, there were two fishes. Nayeon freaked the hell out. She felt them everywhere. She would admire the numerous colours of the coral life and its inhabitants for a bit only to swiftly jerk her head towards the direction of where she thought a sea creature was flailing on her._

_Nayeon suddenly felt something wrapping around her fingers and was about to nervously yank it off, but stopped herself when she saw Mina's hand in hers. Nayeon looked up to Mina who was giving her a comforting look and pointed upwards to ask if Nayeon wanted to go back. As soon as Mina did that, a school of fish swam by, successfully causing a turbulence in the waters near them and made Mina's hair move in a way that made Nayeon's heart melt. Nayeon then decided that she wouldn't mind if a million fishes constantly swam past them for the rest of the dive if she could relive that moment again and again and again... So she gave Mina's hand a reassuring squeeze as a sign that they could continue._

 

On their last night there, Nayeon came back from her shower to find Mina leaning on the wooden fences that surrounded their cabin. She was looking at the stars. Their shine was more prominent away from the city, especially at night like this. They offered a calming feeling, paired with the faint sounds of the crashing waves. She herself felt a wave of affection from the sight. Her heart was full of love and she was, if she could say so herself, moonstruck (a/n i luv puns). It was the perfect way to end their short vacation. 

 

"You know," Nayeon softly said, hugging Mina from behind and wrapping both of them in a cozy blanket, "I chose this place for its night view."

"Oh really?" Mina questioned as she leaned back unto her girlfriend. Her voice had a slight huskiness to it, meaning she felt completely at ease.

"Yeah. I wanted to show you a glimpse of something beautiful," Nayeon snuggled herself in the crook of Mina's neck, "so you would understand how I feel every time I look at you."

Mina chuckled softly. Nayeon felt the vibrations of her laugh. At that moment, she felt like the world was revolving around them. There was a comfortable silence among them. They were both taking pleasure in each other's presence, not wanting to break away from each other.

Nayeon decided this was where she would like to be forever. With Mina. Close to Mina. Hugging Mina. Loving Mina. Never letting her go. She wanted to stay with Mina all her life. She wanted to be there for every smile, every laugh, every hardship, everything. She wanted to be the cause of Mina's happiness, as Mina was for her. 

 

"I love you, Myoui Mina," Nayeon whispered, giving Mina a lingering kiss on the cheek.

 

Nayeon finally decided. 

 

"I love you, too, Im Nayeon," Mina replied as she turned around and gave Nayeon an actual kiss.

 

She wanted to marry Mina.

 

 

-

 

 

"On _your_ birthday? Wouldn't it be slightly more romantic to do it on _her_ birthday?" Jeongyeon commented as she stuffed her face with her scrambled eggs.

"I didn't invite you guys to brunch for you to question my decisions," Nayeon replied as she spread an unhealthy amount of butter on her toast, "Besides, the only gift I want on that day is for her to say yes."

 

It's been a week since they came back from their spa getaway and a week since Nayeon had made the decision to marry Mina. Nayeon thought it was indeed romantic to propose to Mina on her own birthday, despite her friends' confusion. 

First of all, Mina wouldn't expect it. Second of all, Mina's birthday was in March, and, in her opinion, too long of a wait. She didn't want to wait any longer. She _couldn't_ wait any longer. Her 27th birthday was in September, which was less than 3 months from now, and Nayeon deemed 3 months long enough for her to have everything planned out. And finally, if all goes well, they could even have their wedding day just in time for their 4th anniversary.

 

"Oh, that's the only gift you want? Guess we should keep that super expensive massage chair we got for you to ourselves then," Jihyo joked as she sipped on her coffee.

"Did you guys really?" Nayeon gasped in both excitement and offense at Jihyo's teasing.

"Yah, Park Jihyo! Why did you spoil the gift? I was going to hide in the box and scare her as she opened it."

"We got it on sale, Yeon. We're not that rich yet," future CEO Park Jihyo continued, "But how are you planning on asking her?"

 

Nayeon had reminded her friends about the small scrapbook she has been gradually working on over the years. They laughed at how they couldn't believe Nayeon actually went through with it, since she has a history of giving up productive projects like these halfway. Nayeon was about to cheesily mention how her love for Mina is what drove her, but was interrupted.

 

" 'This is for _my_ Mina, she deserves the world!' " Jeongyeon said, doing her best to imitate Nayeon's voice in an melodramatic manner, " 'Oh, but... she _is_ my world.' "

" 'Oh, Nayeon, honey, you _didn't_! I love you _so_ much'," Jihyo happily played along in Mina's voice.

Nayeon could only stare in mock offense as her two best friends started fake kissing each other, making exaggerated kissing sounds. 

"ANYWAY," Nayeon continued.

 

She told them how she had progressively filled it with lovely pictures, romantic messages, corny compliments, bad jokes, etc. Everything that should make Mina smile throughout the whole thing. And at the end of the book, she planned to put a collage that contained all the photos she had of them, but were put together in a mosaic kind of way that it formed a bigger picture. The bigger picture would be a picture of Mina staring into the stars that she had secretly taken that night at the resort. However, she modified it in order for the stars to cutely spell out " _Myoui Mina, Will You Marry Me?_ ".

"So when we're at that fancy restaurant and she dramatically looks up from reading the last page, I'll be already on my knees with the ring out," Nayeon said in anticipation, and a hint of stress, "And I'll finally propose to her."

Nayeon finished her speech to Jihyo clutching her heart from all the feeling and passion and to Jeongyeon pretending to gag over how cheesy Nayeon was.

 

 

-

 

 

Nayeon had a problem. Well, she had a few problems. She was overthinking everything. Mina's birthday was now 2 months from now. She found herself stressing over what ring she should get, what restaurant to go to, what she should wear. _As long as I manage to bend down without hurting myself or making something fall, I should be good, right?_ she thought to herself as she stared at her 5 different choices of outfits for the future night. _Right?!_

Nayeon spent the entirety of her day off pacing around the appartment, once again, thinking. She convinced herself that she was "planning in advance" rather than overthinking.

 

"As long as she says yes, it doesn't matter where we are or what I'm wearing, right?" She said to herself while scrolling through different restaurants to book, "Right?!"

 

For the ring, Nayeon had chosen a somewhat "subtle" way of figuring out Mina's tastes. She did know Mina well enough to know what kind of ring she would prefer, but, due to her wanting to make everything perfect, she just had to make sure.

She had opened two tabs of two (questionable) kinds of shoes for Mina to choose between them. " _It's for a friend_ ," Nayeon had told her. The first choice was a 5 inch black high heel with something that was probably a big fake diamond sticking out in the middle of its thick strap. The second choice was not a heel, but rather a Vans slip-on? Except of the expected black and white checkered design, it was covered with shimmering... glitter? Shiny leather? Mina, for the love of her, did not know what it was. Nayeon, however, was too stressed in finding out what Mina's choice was to notice how... unappealing the shoes were. She was disappointed when Mina chose neither and gave the excuse of both of them not being her style, which Nayeon deduced meant that they were both ugly. 

 

Nayeon was about to lose her mind. She decided that it was best to get some air and to browse for wedding rings herself.  She entered an expensive looking jewelry shop downtown and was overwhelmed at all the choices she had to look over. She was looking at the selection of rings that had more subtle diamonds on it, as she knew Mina would prefer not having a massive rock on her finger all the time, when she heard a voice call out to her.

 

"You're... Im Nayeon, right? Myoui Mina's girlfriend," a high-pitched voice said beside her.

 

Nayeon stood up properly to see who it was, as it sounded familiar, but she couldn't place a name on it. She then recognized her, it was one of Mina's close friends. She had never seen her in person, because she mainly lived and worked overseas, but she had seen her in pictures and in blurry skype calls she had with Mina. Nayeon had mentioned how photogenic the girl was, but she now realized that Sana was even prettier up close. She has big glossy eyes and Nayeon thought the angle of her nose bridge was absolute perfection. Her black hair was up in a messy bun and she was wearing an oversized button-up tucked into a flowy black skirt.

 

"Hey... Sana, right? Minatozaki Sana. It's nice finally meeting you," Nayeon smiled as she let out her hand for a handshake.

Sana, however, did not offer her hand. Instead, she cutely stared at it and looked up to Nayeon, perplexed.

"Are we in a business meeting?" Sana asked.

"N-no, but-" Nayeon was taken aback by her straightforwardness and was going to justify herself, but she was wrapped in a hug before she could continue.

"AHHH! How cute! You're so cute!" Sana squealed, entrapping Nayeon in a bear hug and furiously swaying her from side to side, "I can't believe I finally met the one and only NyeonNyeon! Your front teeth are as adorable as Mina told me!"

"Wait a minute, she talked about my tee-"

"I can't believe I found you in a wedding ring shop of all places!" Sana suddenly stopped her swaying and took a step back. "You're not cheating on her, are you?"

"No! I'm just-"

"AHHH! You don't need to tell meee!" Sana squealed and hugged Nayeon once again, "I'm already so excited! Don't worry, your secret is safe with mee!"

Sana explained she was in the country for a few days for a business meeting, and she was actually on her way to Mina's (and Nayeon's) place to visit since she had a bit of free time. Nayeon was dumbfounded. She didn't know her shy and reserved Mina would have such an outgoing friend, but Nayeon instantly grew to appreciate her. She somehow felt comfortable in her presence and talked to her as if they hadn't just met for the first time.

 

"I think I'll get something like this," Nayeon said as she gave Sana the ring she was holding, "It's a 0.5 carat elegant style diamond ring with a 925 sterling silver band (a/n bear with me, yall dont know how many tabs of research i had open just to write that sentence alone). It's small and simple so it won't trouble her while wearing it, but it radiates elegance and purity just like her."

Nayeon looked at other similar selections while Sana continued to stare at the chosen ring in silence. Nayeon had hoped that Sana wasn't saying anything, because she was in awe of her selection and that Sana was thinking she made the right choice.

"You really do love her, don't you?" Sana softly said after a while, her voice had taken a more serious undertone than previously. Nayeon looked straight at her, eyes full of determination and certainty.

"I do. And I want to spend the rest of my life with her," Nayeon replied with a shy smile. She was just beginning to process how real everything was starting to become. 

"I'm glad. I'm so glad that she found someone as loving as you," Sana expressed, visibly filled with fondness. She put the ring in Nayeon's palm and gently entrapped it with both of her hands. "The ring is perfect, Nayeon. She'll love it for sure. Maybe even more than you," she teased with a wink.

 

Sana couldn't be with her during the process of buying it, since she really wanted to visit Mina in the short time she had left before she departs overseas again. Nayeon had yelled a genuine "Thank you!" while waving goodbye to a rushing Sana that cutely held her skirt down as she speed-walked out of the store.

Nayeon left the store, bag and ring in hand. She had one step down. Which was arguably the most important part. The other steps should be easier, right?! She suddenly realized she had another problem. Where was she going to hide the ring?

_I'll hide it in my heart_ , Nayeon subconsciously thought to herself. She then made a disgusted face, because she couldn't believe what she had just thought. _Oh God_ , she whined inwardly, _now I'm being cheesy with my own damn self?_

She made a U-turn towards Jihyo's place instead of hers. She had thought that Jihyo was the most responsible person she knew, and that giving it to Jeongyeon would be a mistake, as she would probably lose it. She also wanted to leave Mina and Sana some time alone to catch up.

She found herself practically skipping in happiness to Jihyo's house, because all was going according to plan. She was going to marry Mina.

 

\---

 


	5. Verse

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [M]  
> also.. this is literal copy/paste with a few edits on spacing so all my a/n are in there... somewhere

\---

 

 

_Seasons are changing and waves are crashing and_

_Stars are falling all for us_

 

-

 

 

Tonight was the special night. They were at the fancy restaurant Nayeon had finally booked. Mina had convinced her girlfriend that she would only come if she paid the bill, as it was Nayeon's birthday after all. So here they were, looking through the menu as they have never been to the restaurant before. Except Nayeon wasn't paying attention to the menu. She kept glancing at Mina out of both nervousness and, as usual, awe.

Mina always radiated elegance. It was as if she was born with the combined aura of the Royal family. It came naturally to her even when she accomplished simple tasks such as studying... or breathing. The way Mina moved with such grace and delicacy made it seem as if everything she touched was made out of the most fragile material that would break with the slightest bit of pressure.

Nayeon had seen Mina dressed up in somewhat formal attire before when they had attended certain cocktail parties or certain events. So when Nayeon had told her to dress up a bit for tonight, she had expected Mina to wear something similar to her other outfis, which can be described with darker colours and minimalistic design. What she was looking at instead was Mina's poised figure wearing a formal off-the shoulder lace dress that put her perfect collarbones and shoulders in exposure. The dress was black, and her long sleeves and torso were covered with intricate designs made out of lace, that merged into the long, elegant bottom. Her hair looked so soft in a low-bun updo, and Nayeon could see that Mina had slightly curled it before putting it up.

Nayeon was reminded of the nickname Mina once said people gave her when she was younger: the _Black Swan_. Nayeon agreed with them. Whoever they were, they were right. Mina, her hair, her collarbones, her figure, her dress, her everything, emanated grace and sophistication under the grand chandelier above them. She was wearing all black, but her aura gave off a simple innocence. Nayeon thought Mina looked like art in a museum that no one should be allowed to touch.

 

"Are you going to pick something to eat or you're just going to keep staring at me like that?"

Nayeon blinked out of her gaze. She realized that Mina had lowered her menu to look at her directly.

"I'm already looking at what I'd like to eat," Nayeon teased.

 

There was a difference in how Mina dressed up at other parties and how she looked like now. The difference was that she didn't dress to cover up. She didn't dress like she could wear the same cocktail dress for every other event without people noticing. She dressed for Nayeon.

Nayeon suddenly felt a surge of confidence and pressure. She was confident, because Mina just reminded her how special Nayeon was to her. It made Nayeon overjoyed. She was excited to make Mina feel equally as special after tonight. She was also stressed, because a perfect person like Mina deserved a perfect proposal and nothing less. There was no room for mistakes. Mina was not a mistake. And if, for some cruel reason, God accidentally did give Mina to Nayeon by mistake, then Nayeon would think that it was the best mistake that she has ever made and it was one she would like to live with forever.

Nayeon looked into her bag and made sure the ring was still in there. She was ready.

 

 

-

 

 

Their dinner was too good to be true. The food was incredible, the atmosphere was amazing, with Nayeon not passing up any opportunity to make Mina laugh, even to the lengths of making a fool out of herself. They were looking at the desert menu, and Nayeon was mentally and physically preparing herself to finally ask the big question. She was going to give Mina the scrapbook she made after they had ordered the desert. The timing was perfect, she had time to think it over and after the special moment had passed, they were going to eat their first desert as an engaged couple. Apparently the happiness was so evident on Nayeon's face that Mina had asked why Nayeon was furiously smiling at the desert menu.

 

They had finally ordered and Nayeon was about to reach out to her bag when the unimaginable happened.

 

Nayeon had looked up to see a random man in a white tuxedo slowly lift Mina's head from her chin to face him.

"What is a beautiful lady doing at a fancy restaurant without a date? Or..." the unwelcomed man said. Mina gently pulled back from his touch. "Or is he somewhere I cannot see?"

Nayeon gripped her chair so hard that it was a miracle if her clear-coated nails weren't coated with her own blood. It took Nayeon all the self-restraint she had to not "kindly" punch the man in the face and yell at him to f*** off. She held back because she thought that there might be a simple explanation for this, such as the man not knowing Mina was on a date with her. But she still wasn't going to forgive him for unecessarily touching, no, _soiling_ , her precious Mina in such a disgusting way. Nayeon saw her girlfriend's beautiful eyes flicker with discomfort. Mina looked as if she was about to politely reply to him, but Nayeon decided to take the matter into her impulsive hands.

 

"She is currently on a date with _me_ , her girlfriend. So if you would please-" Nayeon started, in the most stable voice she could muster at the moment. She needed to get rid of him quickly so the mood of tonight wouldn't be completely destroyed. So her months of planning and hype wouldn't be completely destroyed.

" _Girl_ friend?" the man dramatically gasped at Mina, "Oh no, honey, a woman only needs a man in her life."

 

Nayeon's anger slowly shifted into lethargy. She knew what she was about to hear. She was tired of hearing the same things again, but she has heard it all already that she had grown indifferent to all the insults, slurs, supposedly rightful Bible quotes, and whatnot. She was going to let the man continue with his homophobic rant, but instead she grew furious once again.

 

"And a lovely queen such as yourself deserves a handsome king like me," the man proceeded and slowly approached Mina even more.

 

Nayeon noticed that he was about to lay a hand on Mina's bare shoulder, and she quickly stood up from her seat in attempt to stop him. The room's noise level quieted down for a moment as the sudden scraping of her chair garnered some small attention from the tables around them. Nayeon was relieved when the man had retracted his hand in caution, but she didn't like the stares she was feeling. She really didn't want to cause a scene, for her sake as well as Mina's. She glanced at which table the man returned to and that's when she saw it. Her heart sank even more. Jinyoung was amongst the men who was sitting at it. He was staring straight at her.

She was in complete and utter disbelief. Out of all days, out of _all_ the freaking days, out of _every single_ of the 365 days in the whole year, out of _all_ the times, out of _all_ the restaurants. She was seething. It was almost as if Jinyoung knew today was a special day for her and he had to be here to ruin it. He came to tear up all of her plans, step on it and burn it to ashes.

 

And it worked. The night was officially ruined for her. She was not in the mood to propose to Mina anymore. She did not want to propose after Mina was touched in that manner, after she had made a scene, after she saw that Jinyoung probably planned everything to try and take Mina way from her. He did not deserve to be in a place that was supposed to be filled with happiness and love. Nayeon was whole-heartedly defeated.

 

She saw their deserts coming their way, and she sat back down, dejected. Mina gave her a confused look, because she couldn't understand what just happened, but her attention shifted to the desert that was now in front of her. Nayeon softly agreed with Mina when she mentioned how delicious the desert looked. She couldn't let Mina know the seriousness of the situation. She couldn't let Mina know that they were supposed to eat the desert in bliss, while their intertwined hands were supposed to be accessorized with their wedding rings. She couldn't let Mina know that tonight was supposed to be a special night for both of them. A memorable night they will never forget. She couldn't let Mina know anything that would hurt her.

 

"Hm?" Nayeon said when she realized Mina had asked her something, but she didn't hear it because she wasn't listening. She inwardly scolded herself once again for another mistake tonight.

"I asked if you were alright... you seemed very distracted," Mina said with concern.

"Ah, no, it's nothing," Nayeon brushed it off, "Let's just eat."

 

 

-

 

 

The drive home was mostly silent. For Mina, it was probably a comfortable silence. For Nayeon, it was the loudest silence she has ever experienced. Her thoughts were running wild.

 

_I should've proposed before our dinner arrived_ , she thought.

 

She turned left.

 

_No, I should've pretended as if nothing happened and should've still proposed to her as the desert came._

 

She stopped at a red light.

 

_I should choose another night to propose... But what if something similar happens..._

 

She took off again when it turned green.

 

_I should choose a better location next time... But what if..._

 

They entered their apartment building's parking lot. She hated this. Was she really about to end her birthday like this when nothing happened?

 

_This was such a perfect night..._

 

Nayeon parked the car. The night _was_ perfect, she finally decided. And sometimes, some imperfections are what sometimes makes some things perfect. She decided. She wasn't going to let this night end just yet. She was still going to propose, and nothing can stop her now. Not Jinyoung, not her accidentally tripping, not any rain or earthquake or even an alien invasion were going to stop her. She forced herself to shake off the unfortunate mood she was in and filled herself with newfound determination. Tonight was _still_ the night.

 

"Hey, babe," Nayeon spoke up once they got out of the car, "Do you mind if we go to the roof for a bit?"

Nayeon instantly realized how suspicious that sounded. It made her sound like she had something planned, which was going to eventually ruin her surprise factor.

"I-I wouldn't be able to sleep properly if I didn't take a picture of you tonight in front of the stars and the beautiful view," Nayeon attempted to save herself.

"You flatter me way too much." Mina smiled and took Nayeon's hand as they made their way up. "I don't think you know how beautiful you are as well."

 

 

-

 

 

They reached the roof and Mina instantly ran to the edges.

"I've never been up here at night before," Mina said as she admired the view of the city under the starry sky.

 

Nayeon wasn't lying when she said she wanted to picture this moment. Mina didn't know that Nayeon meant to picture this moment in her mind. There was no one here other than both of them. Just herself and her future wife under the moonlight. Nayeon had a reason in choosing this exact moment to propose, despite her first attempt ending in disappointment.

 

"Mina..." Nayeon slowly called out to get her attention.

"Yes, babe?" Mina responded.

When Mina didn't hear a response, she turned around to face Nayeon, who was holding out the scrapbook in her direction.

"This is for you."

"Uh babe, I know you might be confused at times, but you should be receiving gifts on your birthday, not giving them," Mina joked.

"Just take it, I made it for you."

 

Nayeon watched as Mina accepted it and immediately opened it. Mina saw the first page and instantly knew what the whole book consisted of. She looked up at Nayeon with a look of disbelief, but Nayeon gestured her to keep going through it. Nayeon saw how touched Mina looked and it brought her peace. Mina brought her peace.

She watched as Mina laughed at the mushy messages, reminisced from the pictures, actually laughed at Nayeon's horrible jokes. She admitted she felt jealous of her own scrapbook, a literal object, because for once Mina was looking at it the same way she looked at Nayeon.

Then Nayeon saw Mina's expression change when she reached the last page. The moment has come, and Nayeon was as ready as she was ever going to be. She bent down on one knee, not caring at all that she was in heels and was dirtying her dress on the asphalt, and took out the ring box.

 

"Myoui Mina," Nayeon started. Mina put the book down, wide-eyed and speechless.

"Oh my god-" Mina put her hand over her mouth.

"I know this isn't the most ideal place for me to do this," Nayeon continued softly, "I know you deserved the very best, and that was what I was trying to give you."

"Oh my god, Nayeon-" Mina looked like she was about to cry (a/n me TOO bitch oh my god).

"But after some thought, I decided that right now, under the stars, was the perfect place to propose," Nayeon opened the box to reveal the wedding ring she had chosen for them, "You look so beautiful tonight, Mina. As you did the night I decided I wanted to marry you. Remember that last night at the resort? It was also under a sky like this."

Mina was tearing up now. She couldn't contain her joy and her emotions from hearing Nayeon's speech.

"You said that I should be receiving gifts on my birthday instead of giving them earlier, but I wanted to let you know..."

"Nayeon..." Mina found herself trying to wipe the constant tears from her face. She felt so much _love_ from Nayeon.

"... that you're the greatest gift I've ever wanted."

 

Mina wanted to say yes so badly already and immedately tackle her down with a kiss even before Nayeon had asked.

"Myoui Mina," Nayeon started again after a short pause. Mina internally cursed Nayeon for taking her time, because she couldn't restrain herself for any longer.

"Will you marry me?"

Mina was furiously nodding, hand over her closed mouth, until she realized that she should give Nayeon a proper verbal answer.

"Yes! Oh my god, Nayeon, yes! A million times yes!" Mina shakingly exclaimed. She didn't know that she had an endless supply of tears until she started crying even harder than before when she gave Nayeon their first kiss as an engaged couple.

 

 

-

 

 

Nayeon found herself stuck in between the elevator doors and Mina's body pressed up against hers. She remembered being slammed right into them as the doors shut to a close, but Mina was on her before she could let out a gasp. When the doors opened up, Nayeon was once again being aggressively backed into the front door of their appartment by the force of Mina's lips on hers. It seemed as if Mina was eager to get back to their bedroom, and it was not a lie to say Nayeon was as well. It was one of the many ways they needed to celebrate.

Never separating from their kiss, she felt one of Mina's hands feel its way from one side of her jaw to the top of her breasts and to the side of her waist, as if she were looking for something. The keys to the appartment. But Mina didn't want to ask where the keys were. She didn't want to spend time talking when her tongue could be occupied doing something else. Nayeon, however, caught on and wanted to tell her restless girlfriend that they were in her bag.

"The keys," Nayeon huffed out while breaking their heated makeout session. Mina didn't seem to appreciate the loss of contact and attacked Nayeon's neck instead, making the latter tilt her head back and start rambling. It didn't help that the hand Mina was using to look for them was now actively squeezing her behind. "The k-keys... th... they..."

" _They_?" Mina growled into her neck, making sure to bite down a bit harder to mark her impatience.

"B... bag..." Nayeon shivered, enjoying the feel of an assertive Mina.

When Mina had finally found the key, Nayeon cupped her face to pull her back up again. She missed her already. Their lips met in a long, passionate kiss before they broke from it, panting.

"Your dress," Mina softly said with a smile, foreheads pressed together, "It's blocking the keyhole."

"I hope yours won't block another hole as well," Nayeon responded as they made their way in.

It wasn't often she got to see Mina so bold. Nayeon was usually the rather dominant one in bed, but she has to admit that fiesty Mina was turning her on. However, Nayeon wasn't going to lose. Before Mina had time to laugh at her reply, Nayeon roughly pinned Mina into the back of their front door with her forearm and leaned in just close enough for their lips to barely brush against each other.

"My turn," Nayeon rasped out with her usual confidence. They haven't even reached their bedroom yet, but Nayeon thought the teasing ought to start now.

She began slowly lowering herself down Mina's body, making sure to zip Mina's dress off at the same time. She traced her tongue down to Mina's smooth neck, where she marked her with a single bruise that would last longer than any of the ones Mina gave her. Mina whimpered in pleasure and asked for more. But Nayeon didn't give her more. Nayeon didn't want to give her more. Nayeon simply continued her way down, successfully leaving Mina wanting.

Mina's dress was now at her waist and Nayeon began working on Mina's silky breasts. She cupped and squeezed her right one, while her mouth was on her left, actively niping and flicking her nipple in every direction. Mina's hands were now clutching the back of Nayeon's head and pulling her closer, not wanting Nayeon to stop. Nayeon looked as if she was about to switch sides, but again kept going lower, persistent on leaving Mina wanting once more.

Nayeon ran down her hands down the sides of Mina's legs and pulled down Mina's dress painfully slowly. She felt every curve of Mina's body as she left a trail of wet kisses down her stomach. She felt Mina's breath hitch as she inched closer and closer to Mina's core. As Nayeon sank to her knees, she felt Mina's hands begging for her. For her to give it to her right at that moment. Mina could feel Nayeon's breath under her and couldn't wait any longer.

"N-Nayeon... please..." Mina whispered.

Nayeon heard Mina's whimpers in the darkness and knew she was growing impatient. She slyly smiled at herself. She took pride into being the only one who could make calm and collected Mina lose her composure. She took pride into being the only one who could see her like this, with her ruffled hair, her pleading eyes, her bare chest heaving, wanting. If Mina wanted her now, then she was going to have to wait.

Nayeon suddenly stood up and trapped Mina in a deep kiss before she had time to complain. Nayeon's left hand pinned Mina's wrists above her as her right made its way in between Mina's legs. Mina's dress was now completely off, leaving her in only her lace underwear. Nayeon's fingers slowly traced the outline of Mina's core and occasionally ran one of them down the middle. She made sure to teasingly retract it as soon as Mina's hips bucked down for more. She didn't leave any room for Mina to react as she was roughly kissing her, completely knocking the air out of her. Nayeon became her only supply of air as she swallowed all of Mina's moans and breaths.

Nayeon kissed Mina until her lips bruised, until her tongue had explored every inch of her mouth, until she herself had to take a break to breathe. She broke off the kiss while biting Mina's lower lip and signaled to their bedroom. Mina was about to pry herself off the door to make her way to the bed, when she felt Nayeon push her back into it again.

"Hold tight," Nayeon panted into her ear.

She suddenly lifted both of Mina's legs, causing Mina to tightly grab Nayeon as to not fall. She wrapped her arms around Nayeon's neck and legs around her waist as she carried her. Nayeon bumped into every wall and table and almost dropped Mina on her way there. Carrying someone that was trying to take her dress off while kissing her made Nayeon wonder how people romantically do it in movies.

Nayeon slowly layed Mina on top of their bed. She may have been rough with her earlier, but Nayeon still knew how fragile Mina was. She straddled the girl and hovered over her with both of her arms on the side of Mina's head. For a short moment, all they did was stare at each other. They stared at each other as if they were the only humans left on earth. As if they only needed each other to live. As long as they were at each other's side, nothing else mattered. Nothing can tear them apart now. Nayeon gazed at Mina as if she was the most beautiful thing she's ever seen, as if she hadn't let Mina know it every hour of every day. And at that moment, they were both truly happy.

"I can't believe I'm going to marry you," Nayeon breathed, in pure wonder.

She took in the smile on Mina's face and cherished it, just like every other times she smiled. They weren't looking at each other's bodies, they were looking at each other's eyes, souls. Mina lifted one of her hands to softly cup the side of Nayeon's face and used her thumb to slowly carress her cheek.

"I can't believe your arms are strong enough to lift yourself for this long," Mina teased, her crescent moons in her eyes making a wonderful appearance.

"Oh?" Nayeon teased back as she leaned closer, "I think they're starting to give in."

Nayeon hungrily dipped herself into Mina's lips. She couldn't wait anymore either. She wanted to continue what she had started earlier.

She broke off the kiss once more to make her way down again. She left a gentle kiss on the reddening hickey she had made earlier, and savoured the smell of Mina's perfume still lingering. Her lips brushed its way until Mina's breasts, and gave both sides the attention needed. Mina bit back a moan from Nayeon's tongue that knew exactly where to lick, from her teeth that knew when to bite, from her mouth that knew how to suck until her nipples were perfectly perked up.

Nayeon traced a wet line with her tongue in between her abs as she massaged Mina's legs to spread them open. She slowly stroked her hands down Mina's inner thighs, both her mouth and her hands inching closer to her core. Mina was now clutching the sheets under her, breathing unevenly as she was anticipating what was coming next. Nayeon, still in the mood for teasing, moved her hands in the opposite direction and slowly started to withdraw from Mina's wetness.

As soon as Mina whipped her head up to protest, Nayeon dove in between her legs, surpising her. Mina would never forget the sultry look Nayeon gave her before Mina tilted her head back in pleasure. Her eyes were full of lust, full of passion. Mina's hands found their way back to Nayeon's hair. Nayeon's tongue was already completely inside Mina, but Mina wanted her impossibly closer.

Nayeon dwelled at the taste of Mina in her mouth. She dwelled in the sound of Mina's whimpers as Nayeon slowly sucked on her clit. She felt Mina's hips buck every time Nayeon's tongue lingered a little too long as she flicked her clit upwards.

"N-Na... yeo... n," Mina moaned softly as she wrapped her legs around Nayeon's neck. She was asking for Nayeon. She was in need of Nayeon.

Nayeon took it as a sign to insert not one, but two fingers inside Mina. Mina let out a muffled gasp in surprise from Nayeon's abrupt action. She couldn't help but stutter as Nayeon curled both of her fingers every time they entered her core. She moaned at the sensation of Nayeon's slow fingering while she continuously sucked on her clit. Mina's hips bucked at the same rhythm as Nayeon's fingering and she felt herself getting closer to climax. She felt overwhelmed from the heat of Nayeon's breath on her core and the harmonic sound of her wetness against Nayeon's fingers.

"Na... _hah_... yeon... I'm... _mmm_ ," Mina whimpered. Her heart was pounding. She was pretty sure she would come at any moment.

"Not yet," Nayeon grunted darkly. Nayeon wasn't going to let this fun end so soon. She used her free hand to hold Mina's abdomen down and made eye contact with Mina's begging eyes. _You'll only come when I want you to_.

Mina's nails dug further into Nayeon's head as she understood. She braced herself for the worst (and the best).

What Mina didn't brace herself for was Nayeon adding one more finger to the ones that were still steadily pumping in and out of her. Mina loudly cried out in pleasure as Nayeon fastened her pace. Her chest heaved uncontrollably and she couldn't help but let out small moans as Nayeon made love to her.

"P- _please_ , Na... yeon... I-I..." Mina begged. She couldn't hold it in any longer. "I'm gunna..."

"Not yet," Nayeon warned.

Mina deserved more. Mina deserved everything. So Nayeon went faster. Impossibly faster. She wanted to feel Mina as much as she could. Mina felt Nayeon graze her g-spot and her moans grew amazingly stronger. Nayeon groaned at the sound. She didn't know how she didn't come at the sound of Mina's voice screaming her name.

Nayeon felt Mina's stomach tense up and knew she was going to come very soon. She suddenly removed her mouth from Mina's clit to give her a final kiss on the lips, while her fingers continued their work with the help of Nayeon's hips.

" _Come for me_ , _Mina_ ," Nayeon whispered sensually into Mina's ear.

Mina's head jerked back at the sound of Nayeon's voice. The built up tension she was holding in was set free in waves and waves of fire pooling out from beneath her. Nayeon watched in awe as she saw Mina's voice suddenly lost on her as her back arched higher than she's ever seen it. Nayeon felt as Mina dug her nails on the back of her neck, but she didn't mind. Seeing Mina come undone was worth everything.

When Mina's climax had finished, Nayeon gave her a sweet kiss before lowering herself down and gently lapping up Mina's release. She sat back up and reveled once again at the sight of Mina's panting body and waited for her to calm herself down.

"Hey," Nayeon greeted when Mina looked up at her, "Did I hurt you?"

"Hey," Mina breathed out as she propelled herself up, "I should be asking you the same question. Remind me to check the state of your neck tomorrow."

"You should check the state of yours first." Nayeon checked the side of Mina's neck and gently stroked the purple hickey that was bigger than she had thought. She was actually worried that she had hurt Mina. "I'm so sorry. I was too rough..."

"Don't be sorry, babe," Mina laughed softly, "In any case, it turned me on even more." Mina was amused by the change in Nayeon's eyes. Just two seconds ago it was full of hunger and fervor, now it was filled with concern and care. Mina found her adorable.

Nayeon noticed Mina was still trying to even out her breathing and judged that this was enough for tonight. They had a long day.

"You must be tired," Nayeon said, opening up the bed sheets to let themselves in. "Let's go to bed."

"But you didn't have your turn," Mina said.

"I'll use that against you," Nayeon winked back, "That's my gift for my birthday."

"I thought I was the greatest gift you've ever recieved," Mina teased softly. She cuddled into the crook of Nayeon's neck and felt Nayeon's arms loosely wrap her in an embrace under the blankets.

"That information shall never leave the both of us."

Mina giggled at Nayeon's embarrassment. She loved how Nayeon would go out of her way to compliment Mina, but would always shy away once others knew that she actually meant all of her cheesy comments. It was " _genuine cheese_ ", as Nayeon would call it.

"Goodnight, Nayeon," Mina whispered. Nayeon kissed the top of Mina's head and stroked her hair until she felt herself falling asleep.

"Goodnight, my love."

 

 

-

 

 

Nayeon woke up the next morning to find Mina staring at her.

 

"Morning," Mina smiled. There was something in Mina's look that Nayeon didn't find right. She had something to say.

"Good-," Nayeon yawned out and dramatically stretched, "mornin'. What do you want to tell me?"

 

Mina kept looking at her, wondering if it was the right time to say it. She just wanted it out of the way. After a short pause, she decided that she would rather do it now that they're in a good mood.

 

"Your paren-" Mina started. Nayeon had used two fingers to shut her lips to a close before she could continue.

"Yah," Nayeon said lazily, "Really? That's the first thing you're gunna say to me this early?"

Mina, forcefully speechless by Nayeon, couldn't do anything but hum in response.

"Don't worry about it," Nayeon sighed, "They're not invited. They don't even have to know."

Mina just stared at her. _God, she looks so good in the morning even when she just woke up_ , Nayeon thought.

"Do you want them to know?"

Mina lifted her shoulders up and down. Nayeon took it as an " _I don't mind, but it's probably something you should notify them about._ "

"Fine. I'll send them a letter or something. But they're still not invited."

Nayeon took away her fingers from her mouth and Mina instantly smiled. Nayeon squinted at her then stared at the ceiling, in disbelief that she had lost to someone who couldn't even speak. Mina made it up to the grumpy Nayeon once she gave her a small peck on the cheek.

 

"Hmph," Nayeon grumbled, "If only people knew how loud you actually are in bed."

Nayeon found herself pushed off the bed.

 

\---

 


	6. Verse II

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [M]

\---

 

 

_Days grow longer and nights grow shorter_

_I can show you I'll be the one_

 

-

 

 

_Dear Mom, Dad,_

_It's me, Nayeon. I know it's been a while since I've last talked to you guys, or seen you (I won't count the times you've ignored me when we ran into each other). We had, and still have, our differences and I feel sorry for not being able to mend them. I feel sorry for not being the daughter you wanted me to be. Most of all, I feel sorry that you didn't come to accept me for who I am. I thought that with time, you would learn to love me again, as your daughter, and we would get through this together._

_I apologize for the time it took me to find my path, for all the times you scolded me for being immature and lazy, for leaving you and not keeping contact. I know I hurt you guys, but you've hurt me as well. I thank you for the support you've given me throughout my life, but I won't forget the time you abandoned me when I needed it the most._

_I should let you know that once you've received and read this letter, I would already be married. I have chosen to marry Mina. Myoui Mina. Pretty, isn't it? Isn't she? Mom, Dad, I love her as much as I used to love you guys. Maybe even more. I wish you guys could've witnessed everything I've done for her and everything she's done for me. I wish you guys could've seen her walking down the aisle, with her beautiful smile that you seem to be immune to. I wish you guys could've felt the love from both of us and knew we were meant for each other._

_I wish I could've seen the proud looks on your faces when you see how much I love her, and will keep loving her. And hopefully, I will stay with her until the end, which was something you couldn't have done for me. But I will do it for her. I will do anything I can to make her happy, to make her feel loved, safe, and supported. I will give her everything I have._

_Because she is everything to me._

 

_Best regards,_

_Your daughter, Im Nayeon_

 

 

-

 

 

The music started playing. Nayeon was already waiting at the stand. She took a deep breath. _Here comes the bride_.

 

_Jeongyeon took a good look at the cake they were picking up. They had chosen a 3 tier victorian styled wedding cake, as there weren't as many guests. It was completely white and wrapped in beautiful black laced designs. The top had been decorated with two female figurines set to look like the engaged couple in their gowns._

_"Looks kinda kinky, doesn't it?" she commented, before she bent down in pain. Nayeon had thanked the bakery workers with a smile, as if she didn't just subtly kicked Jeongyeon in the shin._

 

Nayeon watched as one of Mina's nieces, their designated flower girl, strolled through the white carpet on the grass. She had as much elegance as Mina when she sprinkled white flower petals in her path. Perhaps it ran in the family.

 

_"Who are you inviting?" Sana had asked Nayeon through the phone. They were discussing final wedding preparations, which Sana insisted she be a part in._

_"Jihyo, Jeongyeon, you and Momo... Mina's dad and a few of her relatives," Nayeon said as she read the list of invitees._

_"That's pretty small of a number, especially on your part... I know you guys wanted it low-key, but there really isn't anyone else in your family you would like to invite?"_

_Nayeon paused at the question. She remembered she promised Mina that she would write a letter to her parents announcing her marriage. She decided she would send it so her parents would receive it after her marriage, so they cannot stop her._

_"No. There's no one."_

 

Everything started playing in slow motion. The music, the chants, the wind, her breath. She could hear herself breathing slowly over the music as she watched her one and only love of her life appear from beneath the wedding gate. Her slender arms were wrapped tight around her father's robust ones. Nayeon swore time stopped as everyone caught a full view of Mina's neverending beauty in her noble wedding dress. She swore she stopped breathing as well. Mina took her breath, took her everything, away.

 

_"I feel like I look really frumpy in this," Nayeon said as she twirled around and checked herself in the mirror. She was wearing a long sleeved white laced dress that exposed her collarbones, but the bottom portion of the dress was a bit too.. poofy._

_They were looking for Nayeon's wedding dress, because her laziness made her delay buying her own dress for her own wedding._

_"Here," Jihyo said as she handed another dress to her. "I feel like this is the one."_

_It was a sleeveless sheer wedding dress that had a slight high neckline. Her back was exposed, but covered in a thin material. Nayeon didn't even have to try it on before she decided she loved it. She was sure Mina would love it too._

_"You know you're showing less skin than Mina," Jihyo stated._

_"How's her dress like?" Nayeon asked. They agreed to not show each other's dresses until the wedding, but she was curious._

_"Oh, trust me," Jeongyeon smirked. "You'll love it."_

 

And here she was in all her glory. In all her heavenly glory. Nayeon sharply inhaled as she saw her beloved in her wedding dress for the first time.

She started from the bottom, where her perfect toes in her heels that slipped from under her dress with every step she took down the aisle. The tips until the waist of her satin dress shined in the bright sunlight, and Nayeon felt like she was staring at the light. It connected perfectly to her torso, where a white beaded bodice hugged her slim figure in the most amazing way. Nayeon's eyes marvelled in the sight of her V-neckline that exposed just enough to leave her satisfied, but still wanting. The straps of her dress seemed to be connected from the front to the back by exquisite laced white flowers and butterflies. Nayeon wanted to tear up at the sight.

 

_"This place is-"_

_"Perfect," Nayeon hummed as she wrapped her arms around Mina's neck from behind her._

_Mina looked around. They finally chose where they were going to hold the ceremony. A small field of green grass surrounded by a lovely garden. A few cherry blossom trees were still blooming, and the couple found themselves lucky to have their wedding just on time for it._

_Nayeon wasn't looking around. She was staring at Mina. Everything about Mina looked softer than usual today._

_"Can't we just get married now? I can't wait any longer to see you walking down the aisle."_

_Mina tilted her head sideways and gave Nayeon a chaste kiss. Nayeon was right. Her lips were softer today. Her nose was softer today. Nayeon tightened her grip around her, to feel her softness, to protect it._

_"I'm-" Mina started._

_"Perfect," Nayeon teased, snuggling herself in Mina's hair. "You're perfect."_

 

Her eyes finally fell upong Mina's face. Her beautiful, _beautiful_ face. Her shade of lipstick made her want her whole body to be covered in marks of it. The charming blush on Mina's cheeks couldn't even compare to what Nayeon was feeling. Nayeon was in _love_. She felt herself tearing up. But she couldn't. Not yet. Not when she hasn't gazed at Mina's eyes. Not when she hasn't looked at Mina's glistening eyes that reminded Nayeon of the stars in the sky. Two divine orbs that made Nayeon feel as if she was staring right at heaven.

Nayeon was staring at _her_ star, _her_ heaven, _her_ light. And she didn't care if she became blind from it.

 

_"Why are you crying?"_

_Nayeon sniffled in surprise. She didn't know Mina was awake. She suddenly felt embarrassed that Mina had caught her crying._

_"I-uh... I was watching you sleep," Nayeon hurriedly wiped away her tears. "And-and I just couldn't believe that all of this is happening."_

_Their wedding was in 2 days. Nayeon was holding her head on one arm on the bed, staring at Mina. She felt overwhelmed with emotions and found herself crying. She didn't know her soft sniffles would wake her girlfriend up. Mina slowly opened her sleepy eyes to come closer to Nayeon, and nuzzled herself below her neck._

_"I'll make you believe it," Mina rasped out, "Please get some rest. I can't have you falling asleep during our wedding."_

_Mina loosely wrapped her arms around Nayeon's waist and Nayeon could feel her breath on her collarbones. She came to a decision that she didn't ever want to sleep in any other position than the one she was in now._

 

Mina was in front her now. They both couldn't contain the smiles on their faces. It was finally the moment they were waiting for. Nayeon gently held Mina's hands. She was slightly shaking. Nayeon was nervous too, her heart was pounding hard in her chest that she couldn't hear the music anymore.

 

" _Do you, Myoui Mina, take Im Nayeon to be your wife, to cherish in friendship and love today, tomorrow, and for as long as the two of you live,_  
_To trust and honor her, to love her faithfully, through the best and the worst, whatever may come,_  
_And if you should ever doubt, to remember your love for each other and the reason why you came together with her this day?_ "

 

"I do." Mina happily said in her sweet voice, giving Nayeon's hand a light squeeze.

 

_"Im Nayeon, do you take Myoui Mina to be your wedded wife, to live together in marriage?_   
_Do you promise to love her, comfort her, honor and keep her for better or worse, for richer and poorer, insickness and health,_   
_And forsaking all others, be faithful only to her, for as long as you both shall live?"_

 

Nayeon looked at Mina. She was only looking at Mina. In this moment, no one else was around. In this moment, they were both alone in the world. In this moment, Mina was truly hers. In this moment, she was truly Mina's. In this moment, nothing can separate them. Nothing can cease the love they have for each other. Nayeon was in bliss.

 

"I do," Nayeon stated, a tear running down her face.

 

 

-

 

 

It was late evening, and they were getting ready for bed. They were still slightly tipsy. Nayeon was less so than Mina, because she had to restrain herself to do most of the talking that night. Nayeon took a mental note of always watching how much Mina drank when she was around the very persuasive Sana and alcohol.

Mina was still in the bathroom, and Nayeon found herself sitting at the edge of their bed, staring at her ring. At her _wedding_ ring. They just got officially _married_ today. There were officially _one_. Nayeon couldn't think of anything greater. She couldn't think of any happier moment in her life than today, although her first meeting with Mina, or the day of her proposal were strong options.

She heard Mina enter the room so she took the ring off and put it on the nightstand. She looked up when she heard a shuffling strangely close to her and saw a completely naked - and still tipsy - Mina in front of her leaning in for a kiss.

"Uh-" Nayeon managed to let out before she was interrupted by Mina's lips. Nayeon didn't know what was happening. Well, she did, but everything was happening too fast to process.

The next thing she knew, her hands were tied up behind her with what she felt as her face towel.

"Excuse me, I happen to actually use-" Nayeon tried, but Mina kissed her once again. She wanted to touch Mina back, but remembered that Mina had restricted her movements. She didn't know how limiting it felt to be unable to feel Mina's body the same way she was feeling her up right now. And she was somehow a little turned on by it.

Nayeon was still sitting at the edge of the bed and she feared for her life when Mina used her fingers to part her _lower_ lips and mounted one of Nayeon's legs. Mina, and her still reddened cheeks, gave her the most seductive look she has ever seen. Nayeon gulped hard. She was now at Mina's mercy.

Satisfied at Nayeon's reaction, Mina gave her a mischievous smile and started to slowly grind on Nayeon's leg.

"N- _Nayeon_..." Mina moaned in her ear.

Bam. Nayeon was instantly wet. All Nayeon could do was stare at Mina's hips that moved in an ungodly way, while Mina held Nayeon's shoulders for support. Mina was basically using Nayeon's leg to get herself off, and Nayeon felt more and more aroused at the sight, the feel and the sounds of her slit rubbing on her skin. She became breathless at how Mina's humping became harder and faster, and the fact that her leg that was currently in between Nayeon's thighs was hitting her core wasn't helping either.

" _Hng_..." Mina moaned even louder. Nayeon thought she was in heaven. This was one of the hottest things she has ever seen. " _Nayeon_..."

Nayeon blushed. It was like she was witnessing something intimate. She didn't know watching Mina masturbate, and using her leg for it, would arouse her this much.

"Na... _hah_... yeon..." Mina's breath was hot in Nayeon's ear.

Nayeon was going to go crazy if she couldn't touch Mina in this state. She wanted to help her girlfriend, and help herself as well. When Mina saw Nayeon trying to break free from the knot, she grinded down as slow as she could. This resulted in Mina's knee rubbing Nayeon in the most amazing way. Nayeon suddenly forgot everything she was about to do and moaned at the sensation. Her eyes rolled a bit back and Mina's whimpers joined in as well. Nayeon couldn't believe Mina was about to make her come with the most minimal of touches.

Then Nayeon felt it. Mina was inching closer to her peak. She was grinding faster and letting out the most lewd noises at each stroke. Nayeon's thigh was covered in a layer of Mina's juices. Mina bit her lip to hold in her moans and lowered her head into Nayeon's neck. Nayeon found herself also bucking her hips forward to fully take in the feel of Mina's knee between her. 

But to her displeasure, Mina suddenly lowered her knee away from Nayeon. Nayeon was about to move forward to feel it again, but Mina stopped her.

"B-babe, please," Nayeon begged.

" _Not yet_ ," Mina replied huskily. Her moans were getting shorter but louder. She was getting close.

Nayeon suddenly recognized what Mina was doing and stared at her hoping she really wasn't going to leave her like this. Nayeon watched as Mina gave her a sly smirk before she bit back her moan and tilted her head back in ecstasy. Mina's grip on Nayeon's shoulders tightened and her whole body jerked upwards in pleasure. Nayeon was surprised that she didn't come right there and then as this was the first time she saw Mina's "orgasm" face so close and so _raw_. Her pyjama shorts were now soaked. 

When Mina rode out her climax, she calmed herself down and lowered herself to the floow. She started sensually licking and sucking Nayeon's thigh until it was clean and slowly took off her shorts. Nayeon was aroused at the sight, but it wasn't enough. She felt a shiver every time Mina approached her wet core, but whined when Mina backed away.

"I have another leg, you know," Nayeon teased.

"I know," Mina said playfully as she stood up.

"You can't just leave me like that, you know," Nayeon half joked. Mina can't just get herself off and _almost_ get Nayeon off but stopping right at the best part. "I'm really, _really_ horny right now, babe."

"Kneel on the bed."

"W-what?" Nayeon was going to continue teasing her, but was confused at the request. Confused, but slightly loving this bossy Mina. Maybe drunk Mina wasn't a bad thing.

"You heard me."

She didn't know what was happening but she found herself on her knees facing their bed's headboard, silently waiting for Mina's next order. She realized her hands were still tied, but she felt as if she would get punished for doing something Mina didn't ask. _Well, getting punished doesn't sound that awful actually_ , she thought. But she decided to save her rebellion for another time when her hands weren't incapacitated at the moment.

The bed dipped behind her and Nayeon gasped as Mina spread her kneeling legs open.

_Oh god_ , Nayeon thought. _Is she really_...

Nayeon watched as Mina's head appeared from between her legs, her mouth right under her. She could feel her hot breath on her core and it took Nayeon all she had not to immediately slam herself unto Mina's mouth.

_Oh my god_.

Nayeon needed to hold on to something, but her hands were tied. She knew what was coming and she needed something to support her.

"Baby, my h-hands-," Nayeon pleaded as she anxiously tried to untie herself. Mina really knew how to tie a good knot.

"Did I tell you to move them?" Mina raised an eyebrow.

Nayeon didn't see Mina's mouth moving, but god can she _feel_ it. Her knees were going to give out on her if Mina didn't do something fast. Nayeon's breathing was already uneasy and Mina hasn't even started yet.

Mina's soft hands started slowly groping Nayeon's behind and Nayeon's toes started to curl at her touch. She bit back a moan. She was pretty sure she was already dripping into Mina's mouth at this point. Mina spread Nayeon's legs further apart and lowered her down so her mouth can finally make contact.

" _Mmh_..." Nayeon whimpered.

Nayeon inhaled sharply at the feel of Mina's tongue inside of her. Mina furiously explored her core and made sure not to leave any area untouched, or in this case, unlicked. Mina stroked Nayeon's thighs as she lightly grazed her teeth unto her clit.

" _Mi_..." Nayeon huffed out, unable to finish her sentence. She tilted her head back as far as she can without falling and shut her eyes. She didn't want to hear anything. She didn't want to see anything. She just wanted to feel Mina.

When Mina started slowly sucking on her clit, Nayeon found herself grinding down to the sensation. She was careful to not buck down too hard. She didn't want Mina to end up with a broken nose.

Nayeon felt sweat dipping down her neck. She felt the heat from all the passion (and from the extra work she had to do not to fall with her tied hands). And she still didn't know why having herself restrained made everything much hotter.

Her hips grinding to the rhythm of Mina's tongue reminded her of earlier when Mina grinded on her leg. She felt dizzy just at the thought and felt herself reaching closer. She felt sweat, amongst other liquids, building up in between her thihgs and Nayeon knew she was just a few licks away from coming.

"Y- _yes_ , Mi... _hng_..." Nayeon moaned out loud. Her legs tensed up, and her vision suddenly became white. The pleasure she felt was inexplicable. She couldn't control herself from bucking her hips down hard.

Unfortunately, she tilted her body forwards and hit her forehead on the headboard. She went from crying out in ecstasy to crying out in pain. Nayeon felt overwhelmed, because her orgasm wasn't done and Mina snorting into her core wasn't helping either. The vibrations from her laughter prolonged the whole sensation.

"S-stop... I-I'm not finished," Nayeon let out with difficulty. She probably looked ridiculous bent over forward, aching forehead into the mattress, hands tied behind her, still riding out her orgasm.

Nayeon fell over sideways into the bed, panting. Mina turned herself over to lick Nayeon clean.

 

"Next time," Nayeon breathed out, "Remind me to face the other way."

Mina glanced up to take a look at Nayeon's forehead and giggled.

"Yah!" Nayeon softly nudged the side of Mina's head with her thigh. "Giggle somewhere else than down there."

 

 

-

 

 

"Hey, Jihyo, sorry I'm late," Nayeon said. She sat down in front of Jihyo at their usual sushi place.

"I can see why," Jihyeo replied, eye-ing Nayeon's neck. "Someone had a very eventful wedding night." She wiggled her eyebrows and smirked at Nayeon's attempt to lift her shirt further up to cover the marks.

"Where's Jeongyeon?"

"She's later than you as usual. And Yeon, I know the answer for your badly concealed hickeys, but what in the world happened to your forehead? We literally saw you yesterday." Jihyo questioned. 

There was an even bigger bruise in the shape of a fat line on Nayeon's forehead. And as much as Nayeon tried to cover the colour with makeup, she couldn't hide the obvious bump that was definitely not a mosquito bite. 

"Okay, don't tell Jeongyeon, but last night-" Nayeon whispered and much to her dismay, Jeongyeon appeared. Nayeon quickly tried to hide her forehead with her bangs, but she was too late. Jeongyeon bursted into laughter when she saw the state Nayeon was in.

"Wow, your forehead is actually shining brighter than your front teeth," Jeongyeon teased. "What kind of weird new sex position did you try with Mina last night?"

"We-" Nayeon started.

"Jeongyeon, don't give her too much credit, she probably accidentally hit her head while coming or something."

"YAH!" Nayeon exclaimed. 

When Nayeon didn't continue, Jeongyeon and Jihyo stared at each other and reached to their conclusion.

"She totally hit her head," they said in unison.

Nayeon groaned and lowered her head in embarrassment, almost hitting it once more.

 

 

-

 

 

**[Minatozaki Shiba][11:00 am]** Have fun my little bunny!! but not too much fun!! and take care of her please~ ^-^ 

 

"Why is it that when we're actually going to Japan, Sana isn't there?" Nayeon asked.

She gave Mina the window seat and sat down. Nayeon suggested they visit Mina's home country, so here they were, on a plane to Japan for their honeymoon this weekend. Mina absolutely loved the idea, but made Nayeon promise that they'll go somewhere Nayeon would like next year. Mina couldn't remember when she last went to Japan after her family had moved. And to minimalize their expenses on hotels, they were staying at Sana and Momo's place. Sana was travelling again for an endless round of business meetings, but Momo was waiting for them there. 

Mina rested her head on Nayeon's shoulder and played with their intertwined hands. It hasn't been long since their marriage, but Nayeon has been feeling just as happy every day since then. She remembered Mina getting excited to show Nayeon her hometown and all the sites they could go to when they were there. Nayeon decided she was their designated tour guide for the next 2 days. And as usual, if Mina was excited, then Nayeon was as well.

"Did you answer Sana?" Mina asked.

"Not yet, why?"

Mina lifted her phone to show a very cute Sana getting annoyed at Nayeon's unresponsiveness.

 

**[Sana][11:12 am]**  Yah!! im sure you guys havent lifted off yet!!! is her phone dead??? >3<

**[Sana][11:12 am]**  Do you think im joking???? tell her to answer me!! ~~~

**[Sana][11:15 am]**  Unmarry her. (◡‿◡✿)

 

 

-

 

(a/n i just want to give a quick shout out to tripadvisor and wikipedia for these next ideal locations to visit at kobe, japan)

 

-

 

 

They landed safely at Kobe Airport and looked around for Momo, who was going to pick them up. They were expecting her to be sitting down, waiting, but were instead greeted by her holding a sign that said " _Looking for second best lesbian couple. Welcome to Japan._ " Nayeon snorted as she read it, while Mina facepalmed herself. 

"Was this necessary?"  Mina asked as she wrapped Momo in a hug.

"Making a sign was Sana's idea," Momo smugly smiled, "And I thought of the caption."

Momo was wearing black aviator sunglasses that complimented her blonde hair, tied in a high ponytail, well (a/n yes shes blonde in this fic sue me). Her tank top exposed her toned muscles and Nayeon took note of asking her about her workout routine later. She led them to her car and helped them put their luggages inside the truck.

"Who's the first best lesbian couple then?" Nayeon asked, curious.

"Sana and I, obviously." 

Nayeon saw that Momo tried to wink at her on the rear-view mirror, but her sunglasses were in the way, so she took them off and winked again. Nayeon loved it. This was a nice start to their vacation.

 

 

-

 

 

They had finished unpacking their things at Momo and Sana's house and they were making their way to Ikuta Shrine for their first stop of the weekend.  Momo was driving them to their first stop, but wasn't able to join them due to work. 

"Rules in my car: no displays of affection while I'm driving," Momo warned as they got out of the driveway, "I don't want to look like your taxi driver."

Nayeon was admiring the scenery around them. Sana and Momo lived a bit away from the city part of Kobe, so the view was filled with more greenery. The cherry blossom season was over, but some of their neighbours had artificial looking ones in their front yard. She then felt Mina's hand wrapped into hers and looked up to see Momo nagging them.

"Hey hey hey, Mina-chan! What did I say?"  Momo whined.

Mina cutely giggled and gently turned Nayeon's head to give her a light kiss. Nayeon returned the kiss more deeply to tease Momo even more and they both laughed it off. Momo gave up on the affectionate couple and continued driving. 

"So when are you going to propose to Sa-" Mina started.

"LALALALALA! I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE SAYING!" Momo suddenly exclaimed. Nayeon and Mina were confused at the outburst.

"She might have this car tapped," Momo jokingly whispered after a short silence. She then started sulking and pouted adorably. "And why do people always think I'm the one who's going to propose..."

 

 

-

 

 

They had arrived at the Ikuta Shrine and Nayeon was marvelled at the sight. She had been to shrines before, but the fact that this was in Mina's hometown made it even more special. She attentively listened to Mina as they passed the gate. The happiness in Mina's eyes and tone while she was explaining how she used to pray here before every exam, or video game match, when she was younger filled Nayeon with fondness. Mina could be describing a dirty wet rock in a language she didn't understand and Nayeon would listen. As long as it was Mina's voice, she would listen forever.

Mina dragged Nayeon to a station where they were selling wooden plaques. She watched as Mina discussed with the seller in Japanese and bought one for them. Her voice sounded just as lovely.

"They're called _ema_." (a/n legit i almost wrote "its an ema" but like it looked and sounded like enema so i was like ok no)

"You're supposed to write a wish on it, right?" Nayeon said as she felt the wooden tablet, earning a hum from Mina. "But why would I wish for anything more when I already have you?"

Mina let out a breath of defeat. Nayeon really did have an infinite supply of cheesy lines. 

"We'll keep it as a souvenir then. And come back when you think of one," Mina said as she linked their arms and made their way to the main hall. 

 

 

-

 

 

_Dear God,_

 

Nayeon prayed, hands together, eyes closed.

 

_Please grant, no, please give us the strength, no, please-_

 

She shook her head and took a deep breath. She just had to let everything naturally come out.

 

_We got married not too long ago. I married the love of my life. And hopefully she did as well._

_I thank you for having my fate intertwine with hers. She is the one I want to wake up to every morning._

_She is the one whose hand I want to hold every day. She is the one whose smile I want to see every hour._

_She is the one I would like to protect and love until the end of my days._

_Please give me the strength to comfort her and to make her laugh when she's sad._

_Please guide us to a path of happiness and grant us the courage to get through any kind of hardship._

_She is my only light and I hope that it will never fade._

 

Nayeon exhaled at the end of her prayer and caught Mina staring lovingly at her.

"You know when they say to pray quietly, I think they meant in your head," Mina smirked.

"Did I... say everything out loud?" Nayeon furiously blushed. Mina knew how cheesy she was, but this was on another level.

"No, don't worry," Mina said, fixing Nayeon's bangs. Nayeon sighed out of relief. That would've been embarrassing.

Mina leaned in to give Nayeon a soft reassuring kiss on the nose.

"You just mumbled it loud enough so I could hear everything."

Mina's lips were redder than Nayeon's cheeks that were blushing once more.

 

 

-

 

 

They arrived at the Kobe Animal Kingdom for their second and last stop of the day. Nayeon had made sure to take many photos of the many flowers (which included Mina). The blooming flowers surrounded them, and Nayeon thought she was in a small tropical jungle as birds also flew on top. On her side, one of the guides was feeding a toucan in front of an intrigued audience. They both walked side to side down the path, Mina stopping to smell every flower that caught her eye. 

 

"Wow, you look beautiful in every shot I take," Nayeon said as she snapped yet another picture.

"Babe, that's because I have the same pose every time," Mina smiled as she placed a flower behind Nayeon's ear, "And you take it at the same angle."

 

They had passed a large pond filled with lily pads and made their way to the animals. Nayeon spotted some penguins from afar and excitedly dragged Mina towards it.

 

"Look, babe, look! It's you! They're so cute!" Nayeon exclaimed as she leaned into the rock barrier that separated the penguins. She suddenly had an idea. "Can you pose in front of them? You know like how you walk with your feet outwards."

"Nayeon, I'm-" Mina said, becoming slightly shy. There were a lot of people around them. But she saw Nayeon's ruthless puppy eyes and cursed herself for giving in. Mina couldn't believe there were puppy eyes that could rival her own.

"Per-fect," Nayeon slowly let out as she took another picture. Mina swore she could see her smirk from behind her camera.

 

They continued walking around the area and had fun interacting with the capybaras, the kangaroos, the turtles. One of the sloths grabbed unto Nayeon's hair and Mina decided to take a picture first before calming her teary-eyed girlfriend. 

They were almost at the end of their tour when Nayeon noticed a few rabbits from afar. She gestured to Mina that she would be over there, as she was busy discussing with the tour guide about something she didn't understand. She squatted down to take a closer look at the animals.

"Hello there," Nayeon said in a higher-pitched voice, which is the one she used when talking to children or other animals. She inserted one of her fingers inside the cage to softly pet the rabbit's fur as it seemed to be comfortable with Nayeon's touch.

"Do I look like you?" Nayeon continued as she exposed her front teeth on full display for the rabbits to see. She started imitating their noises and fake-chewed into the air as if she were eating a carrot.

"Aaaand I got that on video," she heard Mina say beside her, holding up the camera. Mina tilted her head sideways in amusement as Nayeon immediately closed her mouth in shame. "Don't hide them. It's one of the things I love about you."

A worker approached them and talked to Mina in Japanese. Nayeon watched as Mina nodded and the worker took out one of the rabbits, the one she was petting earlier, and put it on her lap. 

"They usually don't do this, but she made an exception for you. She said you looked funny earlier trying to imitate it," Mina said as she crouched down to pet it.

"Hey, you have your own bunny right here," Nayeon whined as she pointed at herself. 

She saw Mina quirk an eyebrow and leaned closer to Nayeon's face, as if she were about to give her a kiss. Nayeon's shoulders fell from disappointment as Mina bent down to cutely kiss the rabbit's head instead.

 

"Can I take this one home instead? It isn't as loud as the one I already have."

 

 

-

 

 

"Nayeon!"

 

Nayeon suddenly woke up when she heard the scream. It didn't sound like Mina, so it was definitely Momo's voice. Nayeon checked the clock. 1:32am. It had been about 2 hours since she fell asleep. She was exhausted after their first day and went to bed before Mina, who was having a talk with Momo. But it didn't sound like a talk when she heard Momo screaming for her to urgently come downstairs.

 

"Nayeon, hurry!"

 

Nayeon hurriedly got up from the bed and rushed down the stairs to see if they were both safe. She didn't like that she couldn't hear Mina's voice. She saw a faint light at the kitchen, so she figured they were there. When she reached the ground floor, she heard someone coughing. She stopped in her tracks. Nayeon didn't want to see what her mind was imagining.

 

"Mi... na?" Nayeon said, mostly to herself. She didn't want to believe something horrible had happened. She didn't want to believe something had happened to her Mina.

 

"Nayeon!" Momo continued. Nayeon shook it off and ran to the kitchen, full of worry and dread. 

 

She found herself speechless at what she saw. A fallen chair on the ground. Momo rushing to get more paper towels. Momo rushing to a Mina that was on the ground. Momo rushing to wipe off the blood from Mina's face as she coughed it out.

 

Mina was visibly in pain and Nayeon didn't know what to do. She shakily bent down in front of Mina, in front of the stains of blood on the floor. Nayeon nervously cupped Mina's blood-stained face and lifted it to face her. She saw Mina softly smile at her before she covered her mouth to furiously cough again. 

 

"W-what happened?" Nayeon agitatedly asked Momo, without leaving her eyes from Mina. She couldn't even smile back at Mina.

"I d-don't know, s-she just-we just-we were just talking and she just started-started coughing," Momo stuttered, obviously stressed from the situation. "I thought it was just a-a small cough, but then she... she just fell over and I saw blood."

 

Mina kept coughing. Nayeon hated the sound of it. For once, Nayeon hated the sound of Mina's voice. For once, Nayeon wished it would stop.

 

"I'm-I don't-I don't know what to do, Momo," Nayeon whispered as she wiped Mina's face and softly rubbed her back, " _Tell_ me what to do!"

 

Momo could only watch as Nayeon began talking, mostly to herself again, as if she were in denial of what was happening.

 

"Was it something we ate? N-no, I'm not feeling anything though."

Nayeon grabbed one of Mina's hands and gripped it hard. Her thoughts were running wild.

"S-she's not allergic to anything, right? Right?!"

Nayeon's tone was getting louder as she went on. She caught herself when she realized Mina was right beside her and screaming was probably the last thing she needed.

 

"N-Nayeon..." Mina quietly rasped out, lifting her face. Her cough had calmed down. "I'm okay now, don't worry."

"Of course I'll worry!" Nayeon huffed out, gently wiping off the tears and the blood off of Mina's beautiful face. "Of course I'll... I'll..."

Mina leaned into Nayeon's shoulder and sighed out of exhaustion. Nayeon lightly held Mina against her and softly stroke her hair until Mina's breathing became even. She wasn't going to leave her until she was alright again.

 

 

-

 

 

It was almost 3am. Nayeon layed next to Mina on the bed, leaning on her arm to propel herself up. Nayeon had carried her into the guest room to get some rest. But Nayeon wasn't planning on sleeping tonight. She was going to stay up all night to make sure she was ready if ever Mina started coughing again. 

Nayeon watched as Mina's chest rose and fell at a slow rhythm, and she felt reassured that Mina was sleeping comfortably. She softly caressed her cheek and felt how smooth her skin was, cleared of all the awful blood staining it. She didn't want to be reminded of the incident.

Nayeon was baffled. Why did this have to happen now? They just got married. They were on their honeymoon. They didn't even get to wake up to their second day of their vacation. They were supposed to go shopping downtown at Sannomiya and find couple shirts. They were supposed to relax at the hot springs of Arima Onsen. They were supposed to admire the night view of Mina's hometown at the top of Mount Maya. They had another day of fun ahead of them.

She inwardly slapped herself. She shouldn't be worrying over their trip, but should be concerned for Mina first and foremost. She should be concerned over how this was the first time she saw Mina cough out blood. She should be concerned over how serious this might turn out to be. Nayeon silently looked over Mina as the hours passed by. Soon, it was morning and she could hear the birds chirping outside. 

 

"Hello," Momo whispered as she walked into their room. She saw Nayeon fully awake, stroking Mina's hair. "How is she?"

"She's still sleeping... But she hasn't started coughing again. I made sure of it."

"Did you even sleep?" 

"No," Nayeon smiled. 

Momo should be scolding her at the moment. But from what happened a few hours ago, she sympathized with Nayeon. She smiled back.

"I wanted to tell you that I booked you guys a flight back around noon," Momo said. Nayeon was grateful. She was about to ask Momo when she got a chance, but it turns out she didn't need to.

"Thank you, Momo. For everything. I'm so sorry for the trouble, I really wish we could've stayed longer, for Mina's sake."

 

But for Mina's sake, for her health, she thought it was wise to leave now. She knew she was going to face Mina's opposing reaction later, but she wasn't going to let anything get in the way of getting her checked up at home. She wasn't going to let Mina pretend to be okay for longer. She wasn't going to let Mina sacrifice her health for their vacation that every married coupled was looking forward to.

 

 

-

 

 

They arrived home safely. Despite a few complaints from Mina not wanting their vacation to end so soon, she saw how much Nayeon cared for her health and she stopped. Nayeon couldn't count how many shots of expresso she had to take to stay awake until they got home.

She decided to drop Mina off at her father's house, since he was a doctor and probably knew what to do. Nayeon wanted to stay over to be at Mina's side, but Mina, and her father, scolded her. They reminded her that it would take Nayeon an extra hour and a half in the morning to get to work, and she already had trouble waking up as it is. 

 

"Sweetheart, you know I would love for you to stay with her. But knowing her, she would rather you go back to work than her thinking she's being a bother to you," Mina's dad said as he ruffled Nayeon's hair.

"But-"

"No buts. She promised to call everyday. She just needs a bit of rest, she will be back in no time."

But Mina wasn't a bother to her. She wouldn't mind going out of her way just to know Mina was alright. However, Nayeon didn't continue. She knew they both meant well.

"Alright. But if I don't get a call after work, I'm spam calling this place until someone picks up," Nayeon teased as she regrettably left the Myoui household.

 

 

-

 

 

For the next few days, everything went well. They talked every day until one of them fell asleep, which was often Mina. Nayeon even visited her once when she got off work early. She showered her in chocolate and flowers and everything stereotypically romantic.

 

_"You know I'm going to have to bring all these flowers with me when I come back home. My dad doesn't know how to take care of them."_

_"I don't care, as long as I get to have you back." Nayeon kissed her goodbye. "The only flower I care about."_

 

It was Friday afternoon, and Nayeon was making her way to Mina's house. She was going to sleep over for the weekend since she didn't have work. She was finally going to see Mina for more than a few hours. She was going to hug her and kiss her the whole time without letting her go.

She was halfway there when she received a call from Mina's father. She usually wouldn't answer anything while driving, but she was currently stuck in traffic. And she couldn't explain it, but a sudden bad feeling was stirring up in her. Mina's father never called her.

She nervously eyed her phone and gulped when her ringtone finished and she officially missed the call. She tried to convince herself that everything was still alright. _If it was urgent, he would call again_...

 

And there it was. He was calling her once more.

 

She took a deep breath and put him on speaker.

 

"H-hello," Nayeon greeted quietly. She wasn't sure if he even heard her.

 

"Nayeon, it's about Mina..."

 

Nayeon tightly gripped the steering wheel. _No, this can't be happening_ , she thought.

 

"Mina, she..."

 

_I was already on my way there._

 

"She..."

 

Nayeon shut her eyes. _I was a few minutes away from seeing her._

 

"P-please just-" Nayeon rasped out.

"She's in the-we're at the hospital."

 

_We were supposed to spend all weekend together._

 

"She had a heart attack."

 

_I was supposed to take you back home._

 

_Our home._

 

\---

 


	7. Chorus

\---

 

 

_I will never let you fall_

_I'll stand up with you forever_

_I'll be there for you through it all_

_Even if saving you sends me to heaven_

 

 

-

 

 

Nayeon solemnly stood in front of the hospital entrance. There was no more life left in her to step inside.

Passers-by bumped into her, cursed her, wondered why she was just standing in the middle of the way. Nayeon let herself be run into, no matter how hard, no matter how often. Her body felt weak, soulless, empty. Nothing mattered anymore. Not when she didn't have her Mina next to her.

She slowly lowered her head to check the time on her phone. She's been standing there for about 20 minutes. She saw that Mina's dad also texted her that he was waiting at the waiting room for her.

But there was another text.

A text that made Nayeon slowly regain life.

 

" _She's alive._ "

 

 

-

 

 

Nayeon speed-walked, already breathing unevenly, into the waiting room to find him sitting down. He got up as he saw her and gave her a sympathetic smile. However, Nayeon didn't return it. Her mind was set on only one thing.

 

"Where is she?" Nayeon's features were cold. Her tone frigid. 

"Nayeon, they're running tests on her now," he said as he tried to comfort her for the time being. "The doctor told me to leav-"

 

Nayeon abruptly walked past him, interrupting him. She just wanted to know where she was. Why wasn't he answering her simple question? If he wasn't going to tell her, she would have to figure out herself. She made her way to the information desk, when she felt someone lightly grip her shoulder. 

 

"Nayeon." His serious tone made Nayeon more willing to listen to him. "If I could, I would tell you. They told me they were changing her room after the tests, but they haven't informed me of where yet. Please."

Nayeon tensed up and took a deep breath.

"Then why didn't you find someone who knows?" Nayeon retaliated, a hint of hostility in her voice. "If you cared, you would've-"

"Nayeon! Please..." he said. His compassionate smile couldn't hide how heartbroken he looked. "My... My little Mina... I can't lose her too..."

 

Nayeon caught herself. Her malicious eyes immediately turned apologetic. She suddenly regretted everything she had said.

How _dare_ she be so selfish? How _dare_ she accuse Mina's own father for not caring? How _dare_ she forget about Mina's mother, his wife? Nayeon felt detestable. Disrespectful. She was disgusted at herself. She became a completely different person.

 

"I-I'm- I'm sorry," she rambled. Nayeon couldn't believe her actions. She nervously bowed to him for forgiveness. "I'm so sorry, I didn't think-I _wasn't_ thinking-I-" 

"It's okay, Nayeon, it's okay," he softly said as he patted her head. "I'm not mad at you for caring about her. We just need to be a little bit patient, I promise you'll get to see her when they're done."

Nayeon's body was still inclined, in shame. She was too embarrassed and overwhelmed to get back up after her mistake.

"I'm s-sorry," she shakily whimpered. Her eyes slowly started to tear up. "I'm... I was just so... so worried..."

Nayeon didn't even know if her mumbling was audible. She slowly felt her face grimace with distress. She covered her mouth with her hand, trying to hold back her tears, trying to hide her pain. She refused to look so broken in front of him, in front of anyone.

Mina's father couldn't see Nayeon's face, but he saw the tears slowly falling on the floor beneath her. He hasn't seen Nayeon so sentimental about anything else but Mina. He felt reassured. His daughter married the right person.

 

"It's okay, Nayeon," he comforted her, gently rubbing her trembling back as she cried. "It'll be okay."

 

 

-

 

 

Nayeon couldn't stop fidgeting. They were waiting for a doctor to come see them. She had managed to calm down after she realized she couldn't do anything but wait. But she wasn't going to leave until she saw Mina.

She played around with her fingers and stopped as she stumbled upon her wedding ring. She lightly rubbed and twisted it around. She didn't know if thinking of Mina would worry her or calm her down more.

 

"Are you here for Myoui Mina?"

 

Nayeon quickly whipped her head up to see a tall doctor speaking towards her and Mina's dad. She had tanned skin and beautiful black hair. Nayeon could tell she was younger than her (and unfortunately taller than her). And very pretty.

 

"I'm Dr. Chou, but call me Tzuyu. I was assigned to take care of Miss Myoui as she recovers."

"Where-" Nayeon half-exclaimed. She immediately softened her tone, remembering what had happened earlier. "-is she now? A-Are we allowed to see her?"

 

The doctor gestured for them to follow her. Nayeon's heart beat faster each time she took a step closer to where Mina was.

 

"Her condition is stable at the moment, we just ran a few tests on her and..." she paused and side-eyed Nayeon. "You have the same wedding ring as her."

"Huh?" Nayeon blinked at the sudden change of topic and looked at her ring. "Oh! Yeah, I'm-we're married."

"She had to take it off for us to run the CT scan on her so I noticed the similarity," she smiled at the blushing Nayeon. "You guys make a cute couple."

"T-thank you," Nayeon replied, shyly smiling back. She was grateful to the doctor for lightening the mood.

 

They got out as the elevator reached the third floor. They were getting closer.

 

"We think the cause is hereditary. Her records show her mother also suffered from one."

Nayeon saw Mina's father's expression turn mournful. She could see he wasn't ready to face the same situation again.

"How is she now?" he asked.

"She's fine now, but she's still a bit shaken up by the..." Tzuyu stopped in front of a closed room and turned around to face them. "She's in here."

"Shaken up by what?" Nayeon pressed on. She wanted to see Mina as soon as possible, but she wanted the doctor to finish her sentence. _Why was Mina still agitated?_

Tzuyu stared at Nayeon for a moment, looking somehow relunctant about what she said.

 

"By the pain."

 

Nayeon's heart sank.

 

 

-

 

 

Mina's father took a step inside first, with Nayeon hiding anxiously behind him. She still wasn't sure if she was ready or not to face her. She should've washed her face or checked herself in the mirror beforehand.

Her father bent down to give Mina a big hug, and her arms slowly wrapped around him. Nayeon noticed that there was a catheter inserted into a vein of Mina's pale hand. She followed the long tube that was connected to an IV bag.

She watched as the liquid slowly dripped the life back into Mina. Nayeon couldn't do that. Nayeon could try her best to comfort her, to soothe Mina's heart when she was sad. But Nayeon wasn't a doctor. Nayeon wouldn't know what to do to soothe Mina's _actual_ heart if ever something went wrong again. Nayeon wouldn't know what to do to soothe Mina's physical pain. Nayeon couldn't stop another attack from happening. She felt helpless as she watched every drop of the clear liquid do things that she would never be able to do.

 

"Nayeon?"

 

Mina's soft voice snapped Nayeon out of her daze. She looked around to find Mina's father gone, leaving only her and Mina in the room.

 

"He left for work. He has patients like me to tend to as well."

 

Nayeon was shattered at the sight of her. Mina looked frail, weak. She still looked delicate, but not in the way Nayeon always saw her. Not in the way Nayeon would brag about. Why would she brag about how close she looked to death? Mina looked like she had been up the whole night. _Was she coughing again but didn't tell me?_

Nayeon silently approached her, and Mina took her hand in hers. Mina's hand was cold. Nayeon only lightly squeezed her hand, as she felt like Mina could break into pieces if she pressed down too hard. 

Mina steadily lifted her other hand up to caress Nayeon's cheek. Her other hand was cold as well. Nayeon shut her eyes, leaning into the touch. Even the drips of life weren't enough to help Mina.

 

"You've been crying," Mina said, staring at her in concern, as if she wasn't the one in the hospital bed at the moment.

"You act like it's not a normal thing to do when you find out your wife almost died."

Nayeon put her own hand over Mina's hand that was on her cheek. She wanted to transfer all the warmth she could to Mina. She wanted to do what Mina has been doing to her for years.

 

"Don't worry, I have to live," Mina quietly stated. "I have to live for my mom. My dad."

 

"Me..." Nayeon mumbled, "How about me?"

 

"And for you-" Mina cupped Nayeon's face.

 

"Please don't leave me..." Nayeon whimpered as she felt tears coming up again.

 

"For you, I _need_ to live."

 

 

-

 

 

The alarm set for 7am went off. Nayeon reluctantly rolled over towards the nightstand on her side of the bed to turn it off. The alarm was moved to her side, since Mina's side was now occupied. Occupied by various prescription drugs. Aspirin. A glass of water.

 

Nayeon heard the soft rustling of a pill container as she felt Mina sit up. Then she heard it again for another container. Then the cracking sound of a capsule package.

 

Mina was discharged from the hospital after a week. It has been around 2 weeks since then and all Nayeon could do was watch as her Mina took all the medications twice a day, or sometimes three times a day. All Nayeon could do was interact with her less, because her Mina was still feeling tired after speaking for too long. All Nayeon could do was wait until her Mina... felt like Mina again.

Nayeon hated it. She hated waking up to Mina taking pills. She hated coming home to Mina taking pills. She hated taking out the trash and seeing the corners of the damned pill packages sticking out. She hated that she couldn't always accompany Mina during her small walks outside (the doctor told her to get some daily exercise).

Most importantly, Nayeon hated the _fact_ that she hated it. She shouldn't be hating on the medicine made to make her better. She shouldn't be hating on the effort and determination Mina was putting into her health. 

 

She rolled over to where Mina was sitting on the bed and wrapped her arm around her waist. She didn't want Mina to leave her just yet.

 

"I'll walk with you today," Nayeon sleepily said, head now on Mina's pillow.

Mina put down her glass of water and gently removed Nayeon's bangs from her face.

"Babe, you have work."

"I can't hear you over the sound of us walking later."

"If you want to come, I'm leaving now."

"Just a few more minu-" Nayeon groaned.

"I can't hear you over the sound of me leaving," Mina smirked.

 

 

-

 

 

"Try this," Nayeon said as she lifted a spoonful of vegetables towards Jeongyeon.

"Did you make it?"

"Yes."

"Then no."

 

Nayeon was currently at Jeongyeon's place and was making her try what she had made for Mina. She read online about ways to help prevent another heart attack, and how to recover properly from one. Nayeon decided she was going to help Mina too, so she started researching recipes and proper nutrition for a new diet, a healthy one.

Nayeon didn't know how to cook. This was her first attempt in cooking something healthy, and it was all for Mina. Mina's new diet should consist of "low-fat, low-calorie" foods and vegetables, she read online. So Nayeon started off with roasting vegetables (without salt), because, fairly, that's the only thing she knew how to do.

 

"There's no sugar in it," Nayeon tried to convince her.

"Nayeon, you're not supposed to put sugar in roasted ve-" Jeongyeon couldn't finish her sentence as Nayeon effectively shoved the spoon into her mouth. 

Jeongyeon reluctantly chewed and swallowed Nayeon's creation. Nayeon watched as Jeongyeon's face slowly grimaced with disgust.

"How... did you manage to burn roasted vegetables?"

"But is it good?"

"I'm calling Jihyo. We're not going to let you poison Mina like this."

 

(And Mina loved the dish ~~Nayeon~~  Jihyo made.)

 

 

-

 

 

The next step in Nayeon's plan was signing them both up for a yoga class. She also read online that exercise is a must, and she thought simply walking everyday wasn't going to cut it. Mina had accepted, because her condition was slowly improving and yoga wasn't as tiring as other forms of exercise. Nayeon also remembered that Mina had done 11 years of ballet when she was younger, so flexibility exercises shouldn't be a problem, but would rather be relaxing for Mina.

And it _was_ relaxing for Mina. But Nayeon? Not so much.

Nayeon did some years of ballet as well, don't get her wrong. But did it help? Also not so much.

It was pretty evident that flexibility wasn't Nayeon's strong suit as she could barely complete one pose without falling over after a few seconds, or embarrassingly hopping away when the pose required them to stand on one leg. Even with the most simplest of positions, everyone could hear a faint groaning coming from her direction. If someone approached her, they could even hear faint curse words being mumbled in a low voice.

She even had to change her seating arrangements to be behind Mina, because Mina tended to giggle and break her concentration as she saw Nayeon fall over. Nayeon didn't want that. She signed them up for this class so they could relax. And the view from behind Mina wasn't exactly the worst (sometimes Nayeon fell over on purpose).

 

 

-

 

 

"Yes?" Mina asked, pausing her typing.

Nayeon was at stage three of her plan. It's been almost 2 months since Nayeon decided to start eating healthy with Mina, and started their yoga class. Mina had been granted the right to return to work just last week. 

"It says online that reducing stress is good, too."

"I think staring at me will actually increase my stress levels, Nyeon," Mina chuckled.

But Nayeon wasn't just staring. She was watching Mina do paperwork, typing up reports, sorting files. She was watching to see where she could possibly help Mina with her work to, once again, reduce her stress.

And so Nayeon helped. If there was a document or book Mina needed, Nayeon would be the one who would get it.

 

_"Where?" Nayeon yelled from their room._

_"On the top drawer, just open-" Mina stopped talking as she heard a loud crash and a muffled 'oops'. "You okay, babe?"_

_"Uh... yes," Nayeon said as she came back looking suspicious. "I found the book, but... I'll be back in a few minutes."_

_Mina gave her a puzzled look as Nayeon handed it to her._

_"Someone may or may not have dropped the other books on the floor." Nayeon avoided Mina's gaze as she gave her a knowing smile. "I'm sure they didn't mean to."_

_"I'm sure it was an accident," Mina hummed playfully._

 

If there were files needed to be sorted out alphabetically, Nayeon would offer to do it too.

 

_"- O P Q R S T- okay, S is before T." A short pause. "- H I J K L- okay, this is before this."_

_Mina looked up at a very adorable Nayeon who found the need to recite the alphabet for every document that needed to be sorted. Every. Document._

_Once Mina finished her report, she got up and walked behind the focused Nayeon. She put her hand over Nayeon's mouth and gestured for her to continue sorting. As she expected, Nayeon took longer than usual. It seemed as if she really did need to recite it out loud. But Mina had an idea._

_Every time Nayeon successfully managed to sort one with Mina's hand still on her mouth preventing her from talking, Mina gave her a peck on the cheek. Nayeon, very amused at the action, happily sorted out everything and offered to sort out more. Mina then shut Nayeon's mouth again, but not with her hand this time._

 

The work would be finished twice as fast, which meant Mina didn't have to work for long. Nayeon was joyful. Her plan was a success, she got to see Mina smiling and being happy again. Everything was going well and soon enough, they'll be living normally once more.

 

 

-

 

(a/n im not gunna formally source the info i used for this next section coz wHO has the TIME but [heres ](http://www.heart.org/HEARTORG/Conditions/HeartAttack/LifeAfteraHeartAttack/Heart-Attack-Recovery-FAQs_UCM_303936_Article.jsp)where i got it)

 

-

 

 

" _Heart attack patients will feel a wide range of emotions," Nayeon read online._

 

Nayeon had a long day of work. She left earlier and stayed longer than usual due to overtime. She came home late to Mina sitting at their kitchen table, contemplating. She was fixating one of her pill bottles as if she didn't notice Nayeon had just entered. The atmosphere felt strangely eerie, and not because it was starting to become dark outside. She checked the time. Mina should've been done taking her medicine and would've moved on to something else by now. 

 

_"Depression is quite normal, along with fear and anger."_

 

"Hey," Nayeon greeted as she gave Mina a soft kiss, "Have you taken your medicine yet?"

"No," Mina said, with a hint of what Nayeon could judge as despair.

"Did-" Nayeon asked suspiciously, because she had left before Mina woke up. "Did you take it this morning after I left?"

"No, Nayeon," Mina sighed. "I didn't."

Nayeon was in disbelief. She quickly checked the time, and urged Mina to take it now before the day ended.

"Mina, please," she snapped as she grabbed the bottle and took a few of them out in panic, "Please take it now! You-there's not much time left, you have to!"

Nayeon was beyond worried when Mina turned her head away. This wasn't something people can have a "cheat day" over. This concerned her health. Why was Mina being so reckless? What made her mood shift so suddenly?

 

" _Resentment is common after a heart attack._ "

 

"Mina, pl-"

"You know," Mina interrupted. She turned back to stare at another one of her pill bottles. "My mom, she... she hid her condition for a while from us. She acted as if nothing was wrong. As if... As if her situation wasn't getting any worse."

Nayeon tried her best to listen to her. She tried to put aside the fear and concern for Mina as she continued to talk.

"But it was. And it was terrible, because we didn't even notice," she sullenly laughed, "She hid her pain under a mask of happiness. She made us believe that she would survive. That we would all enjoy the rest of our lives as a family."

Nayeon felt herself tearing up. She didn't like where Mina was going with her story. She didn't like how, even if Mina wasn't looking at her, she could tell the life had left her radiant eyes.

"How cruel of her," Mina continued as she gripped the bottle so tightly that Nayeon was sure it might shatter. "She made us believe her lies, when she knew she wasn't going to make it. She did it on purpose. She's-"

"Mina-" Nayeon pleaded.

"- _she's_ the reason I'm like this."

 

" _Every time you feel a little pain, you may feel afraid it's going to happen again -_ "

 

"Mina, stop-"

"Am I going to become like her, Nayeon?" she suddenly looked up and faced Nayeon. "Am I going to make you believe I'm getting better, when in reality I'm not? Am I-"

Nayeon painfully shut her eyes. She didn't want to look at Mina's colourless eyes. She didn't want to hear any of it anymore. She refused to believe Mina was feeling like this. She refused to believe Mina was making her feel like this.

"-Am I going to hide the fact that I might _die_ tomorrow, just so we could spend our last day together in happiness?"

"Shut up!" Nayeon furiously shook her head, tears in her eyes. Her loud tone contrasting with Mina's cold, emotionless one. She wanted Mina to stop. She needed Mina to stop. "Shut up, shut up, shut up!"

There was a short silence after Nayeon's outbreak. Nayeon, eyes still shut, heard the soft scraping of Mina's chair on the floor. She suddenly felt soft hands slowly wipe the tears off of her face, and felt the touch disappear just as quickly. 

 

" _-afraid you're going to die._ "

 

 

-

 

 

Nayeon noticed the change in Mina in the next few months. Well, Mina wasn't trying that hard to hide it either. Or she was, but didn't have the energy to go through with it all the way. Didn't have the energy to laugh at Nayeon's jokes anymore, or to react to her cheesiness. Didn't have the energy to go on for much longer during their love making. Didn't have the energy to realize that her smile has been more and more forced as time goes by.

 

Nayeon noticed when Mina visibly lost weight. She saw it every time Mina walked by. She felt it every time Nayeon held her bony hands. One of the effects of a healthy diet was to lose some amount of weight, but that was due to consuming less unhealthy fats. Not like this. Not by eating less and less each day. Not by skipping meals when Nayeon wasn't present. Not by forcing herself to eat a dish that Nayeon had made for them, only to vomit it out later when she felt nauseous.

 

Nayeon noticed when Mina fainted during one of their yoga classes. Mina had refused to stop the classes, despite Nayeon's protests. And all her hope was gone when Mina got tired and started panting during class. Nayeon had to stop what she was doing, not because her flexibility was failing her, but to help Mina hold herself up and to catch her before she falls.

 

Nayeon noticed when Mina began walking slower and slower. When she felt tired a few blocks earlier than where they usually reached. When she had to rest and sit down after every other block. When Nayeon sometimes had to help her walk, had to help her up the stairs, had to carry her on her back when their appartment elevator was down. 

 

Nayeon noticed when Mina got sent home from work by her concerned coworkers. They said she looked feeble. Pale. _Ill_. Even at home, Nayeon could only watch as Mina just stared at her paperwork, not moving. Nayeon could only carry Mina to bed, after she had fallen asleep in front of a blank report on her screen.

 

 

-

 

 

It's been almost 6 months since her heart attack, but Mina's condition was declining again. Nayeon was sure of it.

 

Their morning alarm rang again, but this time, Nayeon was the one who got up first.

 

This time, Nayeon was the one who walked over to Mina's side to softly shake her awake.

 

This time, Nayeon was the one to open the bottles and feed them to Mina. To hold her glass of water up as she made sure that Mina swallowed everything down. 

 

This was what has become of their daily routine. It left her with a strong distaste in her mouth every day. She had enough of it.

She quickly crouched down in defeat, clutching to Mina's pants.

 

"Please tell me..." Nayeon whispered, looking down. "Is there anything I can do?"

Nayeon felt wet drops on the back of her head. She faced upwards to find a crying Mina. A broken Mina.

"I don't know..." Mina softly wept, "Nayeon, I... I don't know what to do..."

Nayeon stood back up and wrapped Mina in a hug, comforting her as she wept in her arms. 

"I'm... Nayeon, I'm... so scared..." Mina continued sobbing, as she clenched Nayeon's shirt.

 

Nayeon didn't go to work that day either. But this time, they didn't go on their daily walks around the building.

 

This time, she drove them back to the hospital.

 

\---

 


	8. Bridge

\---

 

 

_You're mine_

_My true love_

_My whole heart_

_Please don't throw that away_

_'Cause I'm here for you_

_Please don't walk away and_

_Please tell me you'll stay_

 

 

-

 

 

"Miss Im," a voice called out to a gloomy Nayeon.

 

Nayeon slowly turned around to see Dr. Chou walking towards her. Nayeon felt grateful that she was going to take care of Mina again. She wouldn't have to explain their situation once more. She wouldn't have to let even more people know about how unfortunate they were. More importantly, she didn't need to force herself to be politely cheery to someone new.

 

"Thank you for bringing her back," Tzuyu said as she sat down next to Nayeon. "Her condition-"

"- is getting worse-"

"-requires our supervision," Tzuyu finished. She glanced at Nayeon, who was looking at nothing else but the hospital ground. "I came here to tell you we are going to keep her here until she fully recovers."

"So it _is_ getting worse." Nayeon let out a sad smile. Her suspicions were confirmed.

 

Tzuyu heard in her tone that there wasn't any way to comfort her at the moment, and only time will help for now. She knew Nayeon would just deny any sort of reassurance.

 

"Miss Im, I am sure you are aware that she has coronary heart disease. I've mentioned before that she had inherited it from her mother."

Tzuyu waited for a sign, a reaction, a noise, _anything_ from the dejected girl to show that she was listening, but didn't get any. 

"But I should let you know that there are multiple treatments to this illness, and that you shouldn't worry. We will do all we can to help her."

 

Tzuyu was met with silence. Seeing as Nayeon wasn't putting up much of a conversation and that she had said everything she needed to say, Tzuyu stood back up and started to walk away. She stopped in her tracks as she heard a voice behind her.

 

"Nayeon," the voice said.

"Hm?" Tzuyu turned back.

"Call me Nayeon," she sighed, emotionless. "Because I feel like I will be seeing you more often from now on."

 

 

-

 

 

Mina was on a sick leave from work. Nayeon, however, was not. So when Nayeon came to visit everyday, and stayed for God knows how long, Mina began to worry. 

 

"Don't you have work?" Mina asked, as she woke up to Nayeon holding her hand.

 

It was the middle of the week, and so far Nayeon has been here for the third day in a row, sitting on a chair, watching over Mina. She only left for a bathroom break, or when she went to get something to eat. She even occasionally took naps here, and Tzuyu had to bring in a more comfortable chair for her to sleep in. She was practically a patient at the hospital.

 

"I have a week off," Nayeon lied.

 

Mina knew it wasn't the truth. Nayeon knew Mina didn't believe her. They didn't do anything but exchange knowing glances. Mina knew nothing she could say would make Nayeon leave, and Nayeon knew nothing could stop her from staying.

Nayeon stood up to give her a light kiss on the forehead and to fix her bed hair. Mina leaned into the touch and looked around. There was a pillow and a blanket on Nayeon's designated chair.

 

"Did you sleep here?" Mina asked as she arranged the collar of Nayeon's shirt. "I think you're here more often than my own doctor."

"Good. That means I'm winning in who can make you feel better." She softly smiled at Mina, who smiled back.

 

_That's one_ , Nayeon thought. She was keeping track on how many times Mina smiled throughout the day. Nayeon wouldn't leave if she didn't make her smile at least once. Even if that one time was forced.

 

"How do I look?" Nayeon joked, as she put on Tzuyu's extra white coat she left in the room. The ends of the coat almost reached the ground, as Tzuyu's height made Nayeon feel extra small.

Mina smiled again at the sight of Nayeon twirling around and smugly smiling in an oversized lab coat.

 

_That's two_.

 

"Would _Dr_. Im like to accompany Mina walking around?"

Nayeon whipped her head around to see Tzuyu raising an eyebrow at her. She had caught her red-handed. She hurriedly tried to remove it, trying her best to not damage anything in the pockets, until Tzuyu stopped her from doing so. Nayeon looked up to Tzuyu, who gestured for her to keep it on. Nayeon gave her a confused look, but understood why when Tzuyu pointed towards Mina.

 

A _laughing_ Mina.

 

Mina, whose crescent moons were making a rare appearance. Mina, whose gummy smile melted Nayeon's heart once more. Mina, whose joy and laughter made Nayeon forget the fact that she was in a hospital bed.

 

_That's an extra 10 points_.

 

 

-

 

 

Mina, amongst others, finally convinced Nayeon to go back to work regularly. She only went home to shower and sleep. But it didn't stop her from coming over straight from work to do her paperwork there. Mina even shared the table she ate on so Nayeon wouldn't be unhealthily crouching her back while writing.

Nayeon still accompanied Mina during her walks outside, where they would sit on a bench while Mina breathed in fresh air. She would watch as the light wind would push back her growing hair, that was now her natural colour, and cherished this moment as Mina finally looked at peace. 

Most of the time, Nayeon would tell her stories that happened at work or with Jihyo and Jeongyeon, while Mina leaned on her shoulder, laughing. It was times like these that Nayeon forgot all the bad things and just focused on the present, just focused on Mina.

But it wasn't going to last very long, and Nayeon knew it. Nayeon would find herself staring at Mina when she took one more nap than usual, and not out of endearment, but out of worry. She worried not about how Mina's condition wasn't getting any worse, but rather how it wasn't getting any better either. The fact that it was unchanging terrified Nayeon, because it could mean anything. And she hated waiting. It was slowly eating her up inside.

She looked down at the second scrapbook she was making (which she prepared only while Mina was sleeping). She was planning on surprising her once more, when she got out of here. But Nayeon's mind couldn't help but wander to the worst of thoughts. What if she never gets to give it to her?

 

 

-

 

 

"Eat. Please."

 

Jihyo stared Nayeon down. They were at their usual sushi place, that somehow couldn't be called "usual" anymore. Nayeon wasn't coming anymore. Nayeon wasn't coming for months now.

She even celebrated her 28th birthday in Mina's hospital room. And she didn't even bake a cake, because Mina couldn't eat it.

 

"You're not leaving this place until you finish your plate," Jihyo commanded with a stern voice.

 

Nayeon has been relunctantly playing around with her food for 30 minutes, and Jihyo knew she just wanted to go back to Mina. Jihyo understood why, but an intervention was needed for Nayeon.

 

"Jeongyeon's with her now, don't worry," Jihyo tried to comfort her in the midst of her seriousness.

 

Jihyo stared at the detached Nayeon looking down on her plate. She had cut her hair to her shoulders. Her bangs were gone. " _What's the use of having long hair when Mina can't play with it anymore?_ " Nayeon had told them. " _What's the use of bangs when Mina can't fix them anymore?_ "

To any other person, Nayeon still looked healthy. But to Jihyo, it was the opposite. Her cheekbones were slightly more prominent. Her fingers were more slender, but not in the good way. Her thinning figure made her baggy clothes seem a size over XL on her. It was as if Mina didn't find the use in Nayeon eating anymore.

" _What's the use when Mina can't touch me like before?_ "

 

Jihyo found this situation difficult. She knew how hard Nayeon was taking it, and knew these were all symptoms of Nayeon caring for Mina. How was she supposed to tell her that, although Jihyo and Jeongyeon did care deeply for Mina, they cared for Nayeon's well-being as well? How was she supposed to tell her to simply get a hold of herself?

Jihyo decided. She was about to do just that. Nayeon wasn't going to pay attention to what she was going to say if it was sugar-coated. Jihyo needed to make Nayeon realize what she was doing to herself, and she knows Mina could see it too, but didn't have the heart to tell her (a/n lmao get it? im so sorry).

 

"Nayeon," Jihyo called out to her.

 

Nayeon slowly lifted her head to face Jihyo. But it wasn't Nayeon's eyes she saw. It wasn't the bright, conceited, full of life eyes she was used to seeing. Nayeon was doing all of this out of love, but why is it that Jihyo saw anything but that in her eyes? 

 

"Do you remember when you first saw Mina in that hospital bed a few months ago?" She continued.

 

Jihyo saw Nayeon's eye twitch at the memory, or rather at the fact that Jihyo should watch what she was going to say next.

 

"Do you remember how you feared for the worst as you entered the room, how weak she-"

"You-" Nayeon finally let out a noise, which Jihyo took as a sign to continue as she had hit a nerve.

"-looked in her little hospital gown?"

" _Where_ are you going with this?" Nayeon slowly seethed out, with gritted teeth. Jihyo remained indifferent, she had to. She hated hurting her friend like this, but she thought it was the only way.

 

"Remember how you felt these past months when she slowly started getting sick again-"

"Stop talking-"

"-when she lost interest in everything, when she lost weight-

"Jihyo, _don't_ -"

"-when she wasn't herself anymore even after _all_ your efforts?"

Nayeon furiously stood up from her seat, eyeing down her own friend as if she was her worst enemy. The loud screech of the chair made everyone's head turn towards her. 

 

"And how do you think Jeongyeon and I feel when we look at you now?"

 

Nayeon's mind stopped.

 

"How do you think _Mina_ feels when she looks at you?"

 

Nayeon looked back down at her plate, not wanting to look Jihyo in the eye. She slowly uncurled the harsh grip she had on her hands.

 

"Aren't you supposed to be her ray of light? Of hope? How do you think she feels when she wakes up every day to someone who looks as weak as she does? As _dead_ as she does?"

 

Nayeon looked around at everyone staring at them. She was reminded of the night of her proposal, where she had made a scene exactly like this.

 

"Nayeon, you smell more of that damned hospital than your own home."

 

She was reminded of Mina's lovely dress, of her scrapbook, of Mina's tears of joy as Nayeon proposed. She was reminded of the stars in the night sky, of the shining lights of the city they saw from their rooftop. She was reminded of the stars she saw in Mina's eyes, in Mina's smile, in Mina's everything. 

Except the face she saw instead when she looked around wasn't Jinyoung. The face she was now looking at now was of a concerned friend, of a caring friend. Of a friend that made her realize her mistakes, her wrong-doings.

Jihyo was right. Mina would want Nayeon to eat and to take care of herself. Nayeon was too busy caring about Mina, that she didn't realize that Mina was also caring about her. She couldn't be like this in front of Mina. She had to be strong for Mina. She had to give her strength, even if Nayeon herself didn't have any in her. Nayeon's eyes were now tearing up, from the shame, from the feeling of gratefulness, from her whole situation. 

 

"I-I'm..." Nayeon broke down in tears. She didn't care that people were still staring at her unattractive sobbing. "I'm sorry..."

"Don't be sorry," Jihyo reassured her. She sighed in happiness that her speech had worked. "She's going to get better. Now eat."

The crying mess that was now Im Nayeon sloppily nodded as she tried her best to shove a spoonful of rice into her wet, snot-covered mouth.

 

 

-

 

 

"I heard you've already tried a few treatments of your own at home," Tzuyu said as she opened up her computer. "She's told me in detail of everything you did for her."

Nayeon lowered her gaze in embarrassment. She was now in the doctor's office to talk about Mina's progress.

"I can see how much you love her, and how much she loves you," Tzuyu said softly. "That's why I'm doing everything I can to help her."

"Does she have a chance to survive?" Nayeon was flattered at the effort Tzuyu was putting, but she only wanted to know one thing.

Tzuyu flipped over her computer screen to reveal a scan of what looked like Mina's heart.

"We ran a scan on her and this..." she pointed to an area that was abnormally whiter than the rest of the image and hesitatingly stared at Nayeon, "this region marks a buildup of calcium in her heart."

 

Nayeon didn't know what that meant, but she knew it didn't mean anything good. Every word, every explanation that Tzuyu was giving her crushed her hope a little more each time. Nayeon asked her if she can show her a heart scan of Mina's mother. She didn't know why she asked, when the result could completely destroy her hope.

 

"Miss Im, I don't believe I can," Tzuyu stated, more out of worry than out of professionalism.

"Why not? Aren't I family?" Nayeon urged.

"Miss Im-"

"Or I'll just call her dad right now and he'll show me her records. It won't change anything," she said indifferently. 

 

Tzuyu was taken aback at how (understandably) forceful Nayeon was. She gave up opposing, and silently wished someone would fight for her one day like this. 

Tzuyu clicked around and opened up the results of Mina's mother. She had put hers and Mina's side to side so Nayeon could compare and contrast. Unfortunately for Nayeon, there was nothing to contrast, because-

 

"They're the same," Nayeon murmured, wide-eyed. Tzuyu felt sorry for her.

 

"The methods you tried at home for her did certainly help," Tzuyu continued, breaking the silence, "but she... needed professional help for her condition. More than just the prescriptions we gave her."

 

Tzuyu watched as Nayeon shakily ran her fingers down her computer screen, right on Mina's heart. 

 

"Is she... going to suffer the same fate?" Nayeon whispered, shattered.

 

Tzuyu wanted to tell her the truth. She wanted to tell Nayeon that Mina was at a high risk of as second heart attack, and she didn't know if she would survive that one. She wanted to speak to Nayeon with the same terms, with the same unbiased comments about Mina's situation as she did with her fellow coworkers.

But as a doctor, she had to show a face of trust, of strength. If Tzuyu looked weak, what would that say about her abilities? What would that say about Mina's future? What would that do to the broken being in front of her, clutching to the last strand of hope that her wife would survive?

"We will moniter her condition in the next few weeks, and if it doesn't get better, or if it stays the same, we will discuss the option of surgery."

 

Nayeon stared at Tzuyu, somewhat unsatisfied by her reply. She felt like she was leaving something out, but couldn't tell what it was. But she trusted in her, because that was all she could do at the moment. Nayeon wasn't going to let Mina end up the same way as her mother, and no one, not even Tzuyu, was going to get in her way. Nayeon was going to stand guard over Mina no matter what.

 

 

-

 

 

Nayeon came in earlier than usual today. Her shift had finished sooner, because it was finally New Years Eve. She had worked overtime for the past few weeks in order for her to get the New Years week off to spend with Mina.

 

She had missed her.

 

And it probably showed when a light peck turned into a deep kiss, with Nayeon's knee now on the hospital bed. Lust took over Nayeon as she leaned in to Mina, who was returning the kiss just as passionately. Mina's hands were now cupping her face as Nayeon's hands supported her from falling into Mina.

 

She had missed her kisses.

 

Nayeon's eyes were squeezed shut as she cherished this moment. It has been so, _so_ long since they did anything relatively intimate. Nayeon almost forgot what it was like to be touched, to be kissed, to be loved like this. Nayeon was so hungry for Mina that she had forgotten they were in a hospital room, one that anyone had access to. So hungry that she didn't care.

 

She had missed her touch.

 

Nayeon believed Mina could get better. She refused to believe there wasn't any way to treat her. But ignoring her obvious symptoms didn't mean it hurt less.

 

She broke apart their kiss to let herself catch her breath before leaning in once again, wanting more. Nayeon's hands started to wander to Mina's neck, Mina's breasts. She was trying to find an opening in that cursed hospital gown Mina was wearing so she could feel her more.

Mina seemed to have noticed what they were doing, and realized they should stop before someone walked in.

 

"Nayeon-" Mina tried to pull back.

 

But Nayeon didn't stop. She didn't want it to end. She already convinced herself that Mina could recover, but then why was scared that she wouldn't get to kiss her like this again?

 

"Nayeon, wait-" Mina panted.

 

Nayeon's hands undid the knot of her gown, revealing a bit of Mina's bare shoulder. Why did she sense like this was the last time she was going to touch Mina like this, to _feel_ Mina like this?

 

Mina suddenly coughed in the middle of a kiss. The sound made Nayeon quickly open her eyes and retract her hands. What she saw was a disheveled Mina, gown almost off with tears in her eyes. 

 

Guilt took over Nayeon. She didn't stop when Mina wanted her to. She had hurt Mina. She made Mina cry. It was all her fault.

 

"I'm-I'm s-sorry, I-" she stammered as she tied Mina's gown back on. She couldn't believe herself. "I-I'm so sorry-I-I'm-"

 

She hurriedly wiped Mina's tears off her face before rushing out of the room, with tears of her own building up.

 

Was it possible to miss someone too much?

 

 

-

 

 

Nayeon spent the last hour in the waiting room staring at her hands. She was too ashamed to go back. Not when her sinful hands dared smear dirt all over Mina's pure skin. She couldn't even trust herself anymore.

 

"Hey."

 

It was a man's voice. But it didn't sound like Mina's father. Nayeon looked up to be met with a bouquet of flowers shoved in her face.

 

"These are for you. Well, for you to give to her."

 

Nayeon recognized it now. It was Jinyoung. It has been years since she saw him.

 

"I don't deserve to give them to her," she replied, turning away.

 

When Jinyoung saw that she was probably more mad at something else than him, he sat down beside her. Nayeon didn't have the energy to deal with him now, so she said nothing. When the silence went on for an uncomfortable amount of time, and Nayeon couldn't help but feel his presence, she decided to speak up.

 

"Are you here to insult my marriage or-"

"I'm here to comfort you."

 

_What?_

 

"I know you probably don't want anything to do with me, but I heard about Mina," he continued as Nayeon stared at him in silence. "I'm sorry you have to go through this."

 

Nayeon was confused. She couldn't understand why Jinyoung was starting to sound compassionate, especially when it came to their relationship.

 

"I also wanted to apologize for what I've done in the past. I was the reason your mom found out about that night, and probably the reason why you didn't propose at that restaurant last year."

Nayeon didn't know what to do. Everything somewhat worked out well for her in the end, so should she forgive him? 

"But your parents were wrong about why I did it. It wasn't you I was going for, it was Mina," he casually said. "It was her that I loved."

It all made sense to her now. He tried to stop Nayeon from dating other girls, so he could have Mina.

"I admit that that trick I tried to play at the restaurant was a dumb mistake of mine. I knew Mina loved you, but I refused to believe it. I convinced myself that she would get charmed by my friend and you would leave her," he laughed at himself. "I should've known I never stood a chance."

Nayeon managed to let out a small smile. Even if her parents didn't get to change in time, she was glad that at least Jinyoung did.

"I just wanted to let you know that I still have hope that she will overcome it. She probably still hates me, but I still care about her. And from what I've seen, you're the one who makes her happy."

He handed the bouquet to Nayeon once again, which she finally accepted.

 

"So go and make her happy again."

 

 

-

 

 

Nayeon was actually thankful for Jinyoung. She, bouquet in hand, cheerily walked over to the closest store with a newfound strength. She was planning on showering Mina again with everything nice, including her love. Just like before. Balloons, cards with heartfelt messages, chocolates. Anything that would make Mina smile at the surprise. She was going to decorate that white hospital room with every colour and Mina would wake up thinking of her every time. Mina would wake up to this New Years thinking everything was slowly getting better.

She walked over to the flower section and bought a dozen roses. Screw those cheesy plastic ones people get to show how their love was forever. Getting Mina real flowers gave her an excuse to come over every day to water them. Getting Mina real flowers gives her an excuse to get her more every time the old ones die out.

She walked over to the chocolates section and looked over the many choices she had. Heart shaped ones, alcohol flavoured ones, even some Santa Claus ones left from Christmas. She smiled at the memory of her visiting Mina in a big Santa Claus suit, dragging a trapped Jeongyeon in her brown sac.

She walked out of the store, holding balloons and flowers and chocolates, making her way back to Mina's room to apologize when it dawned on her. _Is chocolate... good for her health_?

Nayeon quickly brushed the negative thought off, and decided to just keep it in her bag and give it to Jeongyeon or something. She wasn't going to let anything else bring her mood down.

 

 

-

 

Nayeon should've thought this through. Everyone stared at her as she walked in the hallways, and took all the space in the elevator while she carried her bouquets and had huge balloons hovering over her. If any sharp object, which was a common thing in a _hospital_ , were to come near her, she would be a loud disaster. 

But the look on Mina's face as Nayeon forced her way through the door, after a certain amount of awkward squeaking balloon squeezing between the doorway, was worth it. 

 

"I, uh," Nayeon started as she looked around for somewhere to place the balloons. She wanted to tie them to her bed, but realized she couldn't do that when her arms were already occupied. Nayeon inwardly panicked as she, once more, started to look for a place to put the flowers.

 

Mina looked on with amusement, as she watched Nayeon frantically turn around trying to find a perfect place for everything. When she finally did, Mina noticed the corner of a chocolate box sticking out of Nayeon's bag.

 

"I'm sorry for earlier, I-" Nayeon started again, stiffly standing near Mina's hospital bed, "I should've known better than letting my desires get in the way. I completely forgot about where we were when we started kissing and-"

 

Mina gestured for her to come closer, and held her hand. Nayeon didn't understand why Mina was smiling. Wasn't she supposed to be mad at Nayeon?

 

"Is that chocolate in your bag for me or were you going to eat my share, since the perfect place to put them is in your mouth?" Mina smirked.

"Oh! The chocolates, I'm-" Nayeon started rambling again, not noticing that Mina was joking with her. "I'm sorry, I wasn't thinking again-"

"Nayeon."

"They're probably bad for your health, and I insensitively bought them-"

"Nayeon."

"I wanted to try and cheer you up, but please forgive me for this mistake, I-"

Mina put her hand to Nayeon's mouth to stop her from talking. Nayeon was wrong, she wasn't mad. She completely understood her, and wished Nayeon would stop putting herself down like this. 

"Babe, chocolate _is_ good for me. In moderation. But what I _don't_ want in moderation..."

Mina grabbed the back of Nayeon's neck and pulled her in for a kiss.

"... is you."

 

\---

 

 

 


	9. Breakdown

\---

 

 

_Use me as you will_

_Pull my strings just for a thrill_

_And I know I'll be okay_

_Though my skies are turning grey_

 

 

-

 

 

"I wish-" 

 

Nayeon started to write on the ema. She had found it when she was cleaning around the house one day. She wanted to save it for the next time they went back, but... it looked like her wish couldn't wait any longer. 

 

" _I think... it would be better if you stopped visiting_."

 

Nayeon knew something was up with Mina lately. It was different from her looking weak. Mina was gradually becoming unresponsive to Nayeon. Unresponsive to their conversations, to Nayeon's kisses. Nayeon was now finding herself sitting in silence, and not the comfortable kind, in her hospital room doing her paperwork. There were more and more days where she came and left with the only words exchanged were 'Hello' and 'Goodbye'. Sometimes Mina didn't even answer back.

Mina was getting uncharacteristically cold and distant towards Nayeon. Nayeon felt unneeded, even unwanted. And Mina confirmed it this morning.

 

" _I don't want to see you here anymore._ "

 

"She doesn't mean it, Nayeon," Nayeon told herself, reassured herself. She wiped a single tear drop from the ema, but accidentally smudged the marker writing. "Great, I didn't even write the whole thing yet and I ruined it already."

How could Mina tell her that after all the efforts she went through for her? She lightly slapped herself to shake Mina's words off, trying to pretend she wasn't hurting inside. Mina thought it would be easy to give up on Nayeon like that. She thought Nayeon would just leave like that.

 

" _You can go, Nayeon._ "

 

But Nayeon did.

She quickly walked out of the room, in pain. She didn't want to see Mina's stern face anymore. She didn't want to hear any more harsh words that stung. She was tired too. She was tired of having her heart broken every time she walked in. She was tired of not having her love being returned. Tired of looking at a face that looked like it did not want to see her.

If Mina wanted Nayeon to leave, then Nayeon was going to leave.

"I _wish_ -" she tried to continue her sentence.

Nayeon knew what she was going to wish for, it was obvious. But the reasons behind it made her feel sick to her stomach. 

She wanted Mina to come back, but why? Why was Nayeon only thinking about herself when she wished for Mina's recovery? Why was Nayeon only thinking about how Mina should come back just for Nayeon, just so Nayeon could hug her, kiss her, hold her hand, be with her again? Why was Nayeon being so... selfish?

She _was_ being selfish, because Nayeon was in pain too. Because Nayeon was suffering from hating herself. She hated herself for thinking like Mina. For understanding Mina.

If Nayeon wasn't with Mina, would she feel as much pain as she did now? If Nayeon wasn't with Mina, would she be living her life, going to work, doing things she could do when her time wasn't restrained by visiting her at the hospital?

But if Nayeon wasn't with Mina...

She couldn't think of a life without her. She didn't want to think of a life without her.

 

"Please, Mina.. just... just get better already..." she slowly weeped. "Please."

 

 

-

 

 

She had left her phone at home. It was a foolish thing to do, she knew. She couldn't reach anyone in this state. But no one could reach her either, which was what she wanted.

 

Why would she want anyone to see her down her second bottle of soju?

 

Why would she want anyone to stop her from ordering another one?

 

Why would she want anyone to call her out on her fake sense of happiness she was trying to pull off while drinking away her sorrows?

 

She knew what Mina was doing. She would have probably done the same if it were her. If it were her on that hospital bed. On that  _death_ bed.

 

No.

 

Mina wasn't dying. She couldn't. 

 

"Thank you," she sloppily told the bartender as he handed her her third bottle.

 

Not after all they've been through. Not after all they've promised each other to do in the future.

 

She stared at the bottle and bitterly laughed.

She knew Mina was trying to be strong. That was all she has been doing. That was all she could do.

And was this how Nayeon showed her strength? By drinking her pain away? By suffering alone, because Mina was suffering enough as it is?

That was all Nayeon has been doing. That was all Nayeon could do.

 

"I'm sorry," she whispered, gripping the bottle. "I'm so sorry, Mina."

 

She felt helpless. _Weak_. 

She wanted to spend her whole life with Mina, but not like this. Not like this.

Not with the smell of disinfectant hopelessly trying to clean the sickness away. Not with the sounds of coughing, beeping, weeping loved ones she heard when passing through each room. Not with the wretched look on each patient's faces, or the forced stern appearance on each doctor's features. 

Not with the sight of her Mina in that white room, having nothing else by her side other than her heart monitor, the pathetic meal on a small table, the dying red roses that Nayeon got her, that uncomfortable bed she was forced to sleep in. A bed that Nayeon couldn't share with her. 

Nayeon was definitely more than tipsy already. But it didn't stop her from finishing her third and last bottle that had a slight salty taste from her tears. It didn't stop her either from drunkenly making her way to the love of her life once more. It was the only way she knew how to go.

 

 

-

 

 

"I-I'm sorry, Ma'am, I'm afraid it's too dangerous to let you in the hospital in your condition," the receptionist told a very disorderly Nayeon. She signaled a nearby security guard to come and escort her out.

"B-but, _Ma'am_ ," Nayeon muttered, holding onto the counter, "I-I just need- _hic-_ to see M-Mina, I'll be-I'll be good."

The security guard was dragging her away now, and Nayeon didn't have the strength at the moment to go against him. Her legs suddenly felt weak and she stumbled unto the ground.

"Mina.. let me see... M-Mina," Nayeon whimpered, clutching to the security guard's pants, "Please, I-just this- _hic-_ once, please-"

 

"Miss Im?"

 

Nayeon and the security guard quickly turned their attention to Tzuyu, who just walked in. She had came back from a late night coffee break.

"Dr. Chou, do you know her?" the receptionist asked.

Tzuyu stared at Nayeon on the hospital floor. It was safe to say she looked desperate and... pitiful.

Tzuyu was still young and didn't have as much experience as her older coworkers. She had only heard sad stories from them having to deal with broken relatives, begging them to heal their loved ones, cursing them for not trying hard enough when their patients die.

But this was the first time Tzuyu was experiencing it. This was the first time she felt so hurt from seeing an awfully intoxicated Nayeon, incapable of forming any sentence that didn't include "Mina" in it. To others, this might look like a messy drunkard who made their way into a hospital. But to Tzuyu, this scene touched her. She felt the emotion from Nayeon who refused to let Mina go, who refused to give up. Even if she had a funny way of showing it.

 

"Yes, I do," Tzuyu said, extending her hand to help Nayeon stand up, "Don't worry, she's with me."

 

 

-

 

 

Tzuyu had left the drunk Nayeon on the ground at the entrance of Mina's room. She didn't want to get any closer, with fear of waking Mina up and giving her more trouble than she already has.

 

"Hey."

 

Nayeon was answered with silence. Of course, since Mina was sleeping. But Nayeon needed to let things out, whether Mina heard her or not.

 

"I finished 3 bottles today... can you believe it? You should've been there to see it, but you would've been able to drink more than me so... I'm kind of glad you didn't."

She managed to calm her stutter and articulate actual sentences now.

"It smelled like a different kind of alcohol at the bar. You know, not the rubbing alcohol that I always smell here." She leaned her head backwards on the door and smiled. "But I guess it doesn't bother me much since I'm already used to the smell here."

 

She adjusted her sitting position and remembered she had something to give to Mina.

 

"Oh, that's right! I-" she took out the ema from her bag, "found this at home. I'm not sure if it's supposed to bring me good or bad memories. Remember when we were supposed to write a wish on it?"

She crawled towards the bed and hung it on one of the bedposts. The words " _I wish Mina would get better so we could live happily ever after._ " could be seen written on it.

"I know, I know, it's lame. Please excuse me, I've not been my usual cheesy self lately. I guess... it only works when the other person can reciprocate it properly, huh..."

 

Nayeon gazed back at Mina, who was still sound asleep. She was glad that Mina couldn't hear her sounding like a complete loser in front of her.

 

"I can't stop thinking about our wedding, you know. And I can't stop thinking about how... how our honeymoon should've been as perfect. I know we didn't get to do everything you had planned for us, but I'll cherish what we did do forever."

Her stare lowered to Mina's bed and she chuckled softly.

"That bed still looks incredibly uncomfortable," she whispered, mostly to herself, "I'd rather you sleep on me instead."

 

The expected lack of reaction turned Nayeon's reminiscent mood darker. She brough her legs closer and buried her head between her knees.

 

"I'm sorry..." she breathed, "I'm sorry you had to go through all these nights alone. I'm sorry I couldn't be there next to you on that bed. If you were awake, you would probably tell me it's not my fault, I know."

 

Nayeon tightly shut her eyes, trying to hold back her tears. It seemed like crying was the only thing she has been doing lately.

 

"No, if you were awake, you would probably tell me to leave you alone, to let you go through this pain alone, that you don't need me in your life." She cursed herself for letting a tear escape from her eyes. "I know you don't mean it, babe, I know. I know you want to get out of here as much as I do, but sadly I won't let you leave until you're better."

 

Nayeon looked so small and fragile curled up against the wall.

 

"I won't... I won't let you leave me. I know you're just pretending to be mad at me so I won't be hurt. I know you're just... taking precautions in case you don't make it, I know." She hugged her knees closer to her to hide her tears. To hide her slowly breaking down. "I know."

 

Tzuyu looked through the window to check up on Nayeon and saw her trembling back and hand attempting to muffle her cries. Tzuyu hurt even more for Nayeon. She found her so strong, that she would force herself to not make any noise, even when she was crying, just so she wouldn't wake Mina up. She had decided to let her be for a bit more until she let everything out.

 

"But- _hic_ -... I am hurt, because," she continued, "You can do anything to me, curse at me, hit me, just _anything_ to show you're still living, but... the only thing that would pain me the most... is you thinking it's easy to just leave you. I don't know why... you would think that."

 

She started to feel sleepy. The final effects of the alcohol were starting to take over her.

 

"Is that what you feel about me... you're wrong, Mina," she yawned, "you're... I'll be here forever... Mina..."

 

 

-

 

 

"Nayeon."

 

She groggily opened her eyes. She groaned as she felt her whole front torso in pain. Nayeon had slept on her stomach again last night. She really should stop doing that, but she always found herself crying into her pillow until she fell asleep. 

Nayeon hadn't left her house in 3 days. Nayeon hadn't seen Mina in 3 days. She felt as if she was still hungover from that night. Nayeon remembered Jeongyeon and Jihyo picking her up from the hospital, after she had slept in Tzuyu's office. She remembered begging them not to bring her home without Mina, which was becoming sort of ironic now, since Nayeon was somewhat avoiding her.

 

"Nayeon!"

 

She turned over in bed, dismissing the muffled sounds of someone calling her name as her hearing things. There couldn't be someone in the house right now, she was the only one with the keys. The sound of someone banging on her room door must be part of her imagination too.

It was different from before, where Jihyo had to scold her to make her realize. She just needed time to breathe. She wanted to be left alone.

 

"Nayeon, I know you're in there!"

 

She recognized that voice. It was Sana. She laughed at herself. Now she knew it was a dream. Why would Sana be here out of all places? And how would she have access to their house keys... _Wait_.

The sound of her room lock being picked and her door being slammed open made Nayeon sharply inhale as she sat up. She squinted and covered her eyes at the sudden bright light she was trying to avoid these few days. So this wasn't a dream.

 

"Oops, I didn't mean to- okay wait, it stinks in here," Sana grimaced. "When was the last time you showered?"

"Go away," Nayeon grumbled back into her pillow.

"Good afternoon to you, too."

 

Sana opened the blinds and looked around. Other than the trail of clothes on the floor and the big mess (Nayeon) on the bed, nothing else was worthy of cleaning. It wasn't as bad as she thought.

 

"I'm not leaving until you shower," Sana stated, crossing her arms.

"And why would I shower?" Nayeon replied after a short pause.

"I'm going to drive you to the hospital so you can see Mina."

"You can drive?" Nayeon fake gasped.

"Don't change the subject!"

Nayeon had to find a way to make Sana leave. She _was_ going to see Mina again. One day. Just not today.

 

"Get up before I undress you myself," Sana suspiciously said. 

 

Nayeon looked up in disbelief at Sana, who had a smirk and a raised eyebrow on her face. She wasn't lying. Nayeon feared for her life when Sana started to reach for the hem of her shirt. Nayeon backed away, covering her body with her blanket.

 

"You... what about Momo?" Nayeon gasped, but for real this time.

"What _about_ Momo?" Sana replied, ignoring Nayeon's attempt to change the subject again. "You should be lucky I'm the one here, because Momo would've tackled you to the ground by now. She prefers rough methods, while I..."

Sana put her knee on the bed, and Nayeon nervously stood up, still wrapped up in the blanket.

"... prefer rather intimate ones."

"S-stop that! You're scaring me!"

"Listen to me, I wouldn't be here if it weren't for Mina, okay?" Sana gave up and tried a more direct way. "I care about both of you, so please just come with me!"

"Why would I go see her?!"

 

Nayeon saw Sana's expression change into something she didn't know the bubbly Sana was capable of. She felt as if Sana would end up being the one tackling her if she said the wrong thing. 

 

"Why... would you say something like that?" Sana hissed, a little too calmly. "I didn't come all the way here to hear those words come out of your mouth."

 

Nayeon gulped and lowered her gaze to the floor in front of her. She couldn't look at Sana in the eyes. She finally felt the shame of what she just said once she had said it out loud. What has she been thinking?

 

"I didn't come all the way here to find my best friend's wife giving up on her like this. I'm not saying she's not at fault either, but if _she_ had the energy to fight, you have no excuse in saying that you can't fight back... that you can't fight for her."

 

Nayeon thought everything over. How dare she give Mina, although asleep, a big speech about how she would never leave her, but spend the remaining time alone? How dare she not cherish the time she had now by Mina's side?

 

"If you're not with me when I leave this place, then you're not the person I thought you were," Sana continued. "Then it would be my tragic mistake in coming here for a lost cause."

 

Nayeon contemplated for a bit and started to walk towards her door.

 

"Where are you going?" Sana warned.

"To take a shower, you idiot. I can't go to the hospital looking like this."

Nayeon rolled her eyes at the change in Sana's mood. It almost looked like Sana always won her arguments, which slightly annoyed Nayeon.

"I'll be praying for Momo once you guys are married," Nayeon joked (it wasn't a joke).

"Stop talking about Momo!" Sana exclaimed, with a hint of embarrassment. "And we're not married yet."

 

Nayeon winked back at Sana's inclusion of the word 'yet', and the latter almost threw a pillow at her. Nayeon suddenly remembered when she talked about the topic of marriage with Momo while they were in Japan. She recalled a sulky Momo who wondered why she was supposed to be the one to pop the question.

"Why don't you try asking Momo then?" Nayeon suggested.

Sana tried to hide her blush, but Nayeon had already seen it. 

"Go shower!" Sana stressed, along with some Japanese that Nayeon was sure were curse words.

 

 

-

 

 

Nayeon was now inside Mina's hospital room. Well, she was pushed in. By Sana.

 

She felt the tension as soon as she was inside, because technically the last time Mina saw her was when they got into an argument. She didn't really know what to do, or what to say, when she entered to Mina holding unto the ema Nayeon had left the other day.

 

"We were supposed to go back and hang this there, remember? I'm sorry you had to waste the wish on me."

 

"So now that I gave you something, you choose to talk to me?"

 

Mina became wide-eyed at Nayeon's words. But Nayeon wasn't serious. Well, not _that_ serious. She was still hurt from what Mina did, but she understood her.

 

"I didn't take you for the materialistic type," Nayeon teased with a side smile, letting Mina know that she didn't mean any harm. Mina smiled back.

"I'm sorry for the way I acted," Mina started.

Nayeon listened until Mina was done, the faint sound of her heart monitor accompanied her short pauses.

"I thought it was a good idea... Trying to look strong by making you hate me... I just thought I kept bringing you pain by being with me..."

"It hurt even more when you told me you didn't want me."

"I know."

_'I know'_ , Nayeon thought, remembering a few nights ago, _Those words sound vaguely familiar_.

"It hurt me more than I thought as well, watching you leave... Suddenly all the strength I had was gone. Suddenly I wanted to scream at you to come back."

 

Mina ran her thumb across Nayeon's handwriting on the wooden plaque.

 

"You know Jihyo came to visit me the morning after she said you were unreachable... She saw this on my bedpost and commented how you couldn't even wait a whole day without being 'whipped' for me. I smiled after what felt like months... A real smile."

Nayeon was thankful once gain for her friends. They were there for Mina when she herself couldn't be.

"Why do people think I'm not whipped for you too?" Mina asked.

Nayeon was taken aback and instantly covered her face with her hands. She just got secondhand embarrassment from hearing Mina say that. It was adorable, yes, but still embarrassing.

"Please don't say that," Nayeon replied, visibly blushing. "It sounds strange coming from you."

"I'm _whipped_ for you, Nayeon," Mina teased even further, an evident playfulness to her tone. A shiver ran up Nayeon's spine.

"I can't _hear_ you, lalalalala," Nayeon said a bit louder, covering her ears and shutting her eyes. But she couldn't cover up the obvious smile on her face. Nayeon was secretly squealing with joy hearing Mina say that. She felt her heart slowly warming up.

It felt like they were back in university again. Like she was falling in love all over again. Nayeon was happy.

 

"And I'm sorry my stubbornness blinded me from seeing that I need you, Nayeon," Mina continued.

"Babe, you may be good at everything, but I can assure you that I would always beat you when it comes to being stubborn," Nayeon smugly smiled, as if having a hard head was something to be proud of.

 

"I love you," Mina said sweetly, brushing off Nayeon's vanity.

 

Nayeon came closer and kissed Mina gently on her forehead.

 

"I love you _more_."

 

 

-

 

 

Nayeon woke up from a short nap on Mina's hospital bed. All she remembered was talking to Mina about anything and everything. She didn't know how she ended up on it, but she didn't care once she saw her arm tucked under Mina's neck, who was slowly waking up as well.

Mina raised her head to kiss Nayeon underneath her chin. She hadn't cuddled like this with Mina in a while. It almost felt like they were on their actual bed at home.

"About the wish... It wasn't wasted on you," Nayeon said. "You want to leave this place as well, so technically it represents both of our wishes." 

Mina snuggled into Nayeon's neck again while Nayeon played with Mina's long hair. She wondered what colour Mina would dye it after she gets better. She wondered when the next time they'll visit Japan again to make yet another wish. She wondered when she could be with Mina like this every night again.

 

Until the inevitable happened.

 

She suddenly felt Mina breathing heavily against her neck. Mina harshly gripped unto Nayeon's arm and Nayeon looked down to see Mina clutching to her heart, as if she was in pain.

"W-Wait, n-no... nonononono," Nayeon breathed, dread filling up her soul. She was not about to lose Mina now.

"It... h-hurts," Mina weakly managed to let out. She was panting now, taking short breaths every second. 

Fear and panic consumed Nayeon. She didn't want to believe this was happening. Not again.

Mina looked as if she was about to faint any second. She held tightly unto Mina, not letting her go, hoping Mina wouldn't let go either.

"H-hey, it's a-alright, babe, it's alright, I'll-" Nayeon softly pleaded, trying to comfort Mina as she frantically looked around for the nurse call button or just _something_ to help Mina. "I'll-"

 

Then she heard it.

 

Everything seemed to have happened within a second. 

 

The long beeping from the monitor.

 

The sharp stab of pain in Nayeon's heart as she watched Mina's eyes flicker once last time.

 

Before going limp in her arms.

 

Every sound from then on was muffled in Nayeon's mind, just like a dramatic movie slowing down in the most tragic of moments.

 

All she could hear clearly was the sound of that high-pitched, endless beeping.

 

Just the noise of that horrific beeping amongst Nayeon's muffled screams of terror.

 

Amongst the sound of the doctor's shoes rushing in, forcibly dragging a distressed Nayeon out of the room.

 

Amongst the sound of Tzuyu's mouthed ' _I'm sorry_ ', as she closed the door in Nayeon's teary face.

 

Amongst the sound of Nayeon's furious banging, scratching, kicking at the door, _begging_ them to let her in, _hoping_ that all the noise she made would wake Mina up.

 

That was all she heard. 

 

Just the sound reminding her that she just watched Mina die in front of her.

 

Just the sound of the love of her life no longer being part of her life anymore.

 

 

-

 

 

"I'm sorry, it's under regulations," Tzuyu softly said, "You can't see her yet... Nayeon."

 

Nayeon was blankly staring at the door of Mina's locked room, whose window had been covered. They haven't cleaned up in there yet.

She has been staring at the door for a while now, ever since she saw Mina being taken away from her.

 

"I understand," Nayeon raspily replied, inexpressive. "Just leave me here for a bit."

 

Tzuyu nodded and walked away, clutching the files she was holding.

Mina survived. She was relieved, Nayeon was relieved, even if it didn't look like it.

But Tzuyu didn't find it in her to tell Nayeon that Mina's room has been changed once again. That her visitation hours have been limited.

That the doctors knocked down her flowers to make space for the defribrillator used to revive Mina. Because it wasn't just a simple heart attack.

 

The other doctors had told her that Mina wouldn't survive another one.

 

 

-

 

 

Her neighbours didn't care. They shouldn't.

Nayeon didn't care either when she hurled one plate, two plates, three plates into the wall. The sound of the shattering porcelain falling on the ground remained unheard by Nayeon as all she could hear were Mina.

 

_"It h-hurts..."_

 

All their precious frames were now cracked after being flung unto the ground. Even the one she always looked at when she entered their home. She shouldn't be destroying their beloved home like this.

 

_"N-Nayeon-help-it-it hurts," Mina whimpered into Nayeon's arms._

 

But her negative thoughts took over her. _What_ home? Why _should_ she call it home when Mina hasn't been here in what feels like years? The only _home_ Mina knew was in that miserable place. That miserable place that couldn't even help her get better.

Nayeon kicked her chair in frustration. She furiously turned the table over, and heard the sound of wood cracking. Good. She wanted it to break. She wanted a damn _table_ to feel as broken as she was feeling right now.  She saw the untouched fruits that were on the table now making a mess as they rolled everywhere. The fruits she kept buying every week for Mina to return to.

 

_"D-don't worry, M-M-Mina, I'll get- someone will-I-" Nayeon panicked and looked for the button to call in the nurses. But it seemed as she didn't need to as she heard the neverending beep suddenly coming from Mina's heart monitor._

 

Rage consumed her. Nayeon emptied her drawer from all her clothes. She didn't know which clothes belonged to who anymore, since her tears were blurring her vision.

She had hoped. She had prayed. She had done everything she could to be there for Mina, but it still wasn't enough. She felt herself breaking down for what seemed like the fifth time this week. She was so tired of pretending to be strong. All her restrained feelings, all her thoughts that she pushed down were now re-emerging. She hated it. She hated herself.

She threw all her paperwork on the floor, giving up on the organized image she was trying to change in herself for Mina.

 

_She would never forget the image of Mina falling into her arms, as doctors rushed in. The last thing she saw was Mina being attached to another machine as she was being dragged out the room. She remembered fighting, screaming to let her back in, to let her get a last glimpse of Mina before... before she..._

 

She couldn't remember anything else. 

There was blood on their dresser when she looked down. She slowly looked at her hands. It pained her to move her fingers. The broken fragments of glass on her fist made her realize she had punched the mirror in their room. 

_Look at how strong I am now, Mina. Look how I easily broke it._

She started laughing hysterically. At first she couldn't see Mina, now she couldn't even see herself.

 

_She was sure her screams could've woken Mina up. It could've woken anybody up. It should've woken Nayeon up from the nightmare she was living._

 

She was about to throw her camera on the wall when she noticed her ring was gone. It must have fallen off somewhere. If there was one thing she didn't want to lose in this place, it was the ring. It was the only thing they had that symbolized their love. 

She nervously looked around, being strangely delicate with everything, contrarily to her previous reckless behaviour.

"Where..." she sobbed like a child who lost her favourite toy, "where is it..."

Nayeon thankfully found it a few moments later on her desk... on her yet-to-be-finished scrapbook. She held the ring up and cried even harder at how she couldn't even put it back on, because of the shards in her fingers. She used her shirt to wipe the blood that was staining the diamond and put it back somewhere clean, somewhere safe from all the mess she created.

She then picked the scrapbook up with her bloody hands, and gazed at it. It somehow managed to calm her tantrum. She caught her breath and her vision started to clear up again, but she wasn't ready to look at what mess she had created just yet. She didn't want to see how she made their house look like what she was feeling inside.

"I'm sorry," she quietly apologized for the hundredth time today, "I'm _so_ sorry, Mina."

 

She didn't know what she was sorry for.

 

She was just sorry for everything.

 

 

 

\---

 


	10. Final Chorus

\---

 

 

_I will never let you fall_

_I'll stand up with you forever_

_I'll be there for you through it all_

_Even if saving you sends me to heaven_

 

 

-

 

 

She lifted her gloves higher. It was still winter, she made sure of it when she saw her icy breath in the air.

She was going to use her gloves to cover up the bandages on her hand. They didn't stop the bleeding, and she was sure she needed stitches, but her gloves hid everything for now. Well, almost everything. It hurt when she put them on, but she was going to manage with the pain so Mina wouldn't worry. 

She saw Mina's dad inside and chose to wait outside until he came out. She slowed down her breathing and tried to calm herself down before seeing Mina again, after the other horrific day. It still scarred her, and from the nightmares she's been having, she was sure it was going to scar her for a long time.

She heard a small click of the door and a soft " _Nayeon-ah_ " being muttered by Mina's father. She turned to face him and a wave of pity hit her. She didn't know what was in a worser state, her hands or his eyes. It looked like he didn't sleep since the recent incident, and nor did Nayeon, but she had used an enormous amount of makeup to cover everything up. She wasn't the only one taking this badly.

 

"How is she?"

He didn't even try to reassure her. His dark circles seemed to be too heavy to lift up in a smile, even a forced one. So it hurt for him to move as well.

"Nayeon, I think..."

Even his raspy voice was in the same state as Nayeon's. It was like both of them have been screaming their lungs out in sorrow.

 

"I'm going to start preparing for a funeral."

 

_What?_

 

She tightly curled her knuckles, not caring about the pain. Even if it felt like the shards of glass were still there. 

"You... what?" Nayeon growled, incredulous.

It took Nayeon all the remaining strength she had to not slam him against the wall and scream at him. He was Mina's father. And Mina was right behind the door, behind the wall they were currently standing in front of. She couldn't let out her anger on him.

"She would be buried right next to her mother, Nayeon-ah," he tried to convince her. "Isn't that-"

Ah, but Nayeon did let it out on him.

She didn't let him finish his sentence as she effectively used her forearm to shove him against the wall.

_This is ridiculous_ , she thought.

"I came back here to tell her it'll be okay," she accused in his face with a menacing stare, "and I find _you_ , out of everybody, telling me to just...  _give up_?"

_I'm bullying an old man_ , she tried to stop herself. She felt her hateful mood gradually returning at every word she uttered.

"A _funeral_ , you say?" she sneered, tightening her grip on his collar, "Maybe-"

 

_Maybe you should prepare one for yourself_.

 

Nayeon blinked at her sickening thought. Did she... just think that? Did she... almost threaten someone?

She didn't finish her sentence, internally scolding herself for almost saying what could've gotten her in a lot of trouble. Mina could've heard her.

"I'm sorry, Nayeon... I thought I could go through this again, but... but I can't."

Nayeon let go of his shirt, still fuming. Still waiting for an explanation. She uncurled her fists, now feeling the pain in her hands. She could see a small stain of blood on his shirt and knew her hands were bleeding. _I couldn't hold it in and I haven't even seen her yet._

"They were both my reasons to live, and I... I figured this slow preparation was better... than everything hitting me at once."

She stared at her darkened gloves. She couldn't even touch Mina now that her hands were dirty. She had made a mess of herself once again. And now she soiled Mina's father as well.

"I hope you understand, I..." he started tearing up and Nayeon felt sorry for him, because she did understand. She didn't want to, but she did.

"Just," Nayeon sighed, refusing to look at him, "just don't give up yet. Please. A funeral isn't... isn't necessary."

"I just can't do this anymore..."

Nayeon didn't want to hear anymore. She didn't have any energy to comfort him, she barely had energy to comfort herself. She was tired of feeling sad, tired of feeling angry, just tired of feeling anything. He took her silence as a cue to leave her alone.

 

Nayeon watched as he left, and out of the corner of her eye, she saw Tzuyu, who was watching the whole thing. Her expression was unreadable. Nayeon didn't know if she looked concerned for Nayeon? Disappointed in her? Angry that she made a scene in the hallway?

She wasn't going to let her hands bleed out while trying to decipher Tzuyu's features, so she quickly decided to enter Mina's room. She didn't want to waste anymore time.

 

 

-

 

 

Mina was about to fall asleep when she came in. Nayeon acted as if nothing just happened, as if she didn't just push her father into the wall a few moments ago.

Nayeon didn't want to bother her for long. Her hands were hurting, and her heart was hurting from seeing Mina having trouble even keeping her eyes open. She came closer to Mina, hiding her hands behind her back.

 

"Hey," she whispered with a smile. Nayeon wanted to hug her tightly, cry into her arms, cherish the fact that she was _here. Alive_. Her hands twitched behind her. She had to hold back for now, because Mina had to sleep. 

 

"It's okay," she continued softly, smile still on her face, when she saw Mina about to answer back, "Rest for now. I'll come see you later, alright?"

 

Mina lightly smiled back and her eyes came to a close. Her bangs were in her face, and Nayeon subconsciously lifted her hand to fix them, but had to stop herself. Mina's forehead didn't need a mark of blood on it. She quietly inhaled and retreated back, in pain.

 

All she could do was stare, until she heard a soft knock on the door. She turned to see Tzuyu gesturing for Nayeon to come out. She relunctantly left Mina alone to rest.

"Miss Im, I can't have you staining this hospital with unsanitary blood everywhere," Tzuyu said as soon as she closed the door. "You left a mark on the doorknob already."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

Tzuyu sighed. She was also in a very tense mood lately. And she also needed to talk to Nayeon.

"Miss Im, I know we all had a rough couple of days, but I would prefer if you didn't lose your hands to an infection as well."

 

 

-

 

 

Nayeon didn't even wait until her wounds were completely patched up before quickly stomping out of the hospital enraged. She couldn't believe the nerve of Tzuyu, of even Mina's _own_ father. _Whose side are they on?_

 

"Yah! Nayeon!"

 

She turned to the side to see Jihyo and Jeongyeon slightly jogging towards her. Tzuyu must have called them. To help her. Again. To be accompanied once again. She inwardly scoffed. She wasn't a child.

 

"Where are you going-"

"You know what she told me? What her _doctor_ told me to do? She told to keep _waiting._ " Nayeon interrupted through her gritted teeth, pointing towards the hospital. "She told me just to sit there while Mina is dying and just _wait_. What... does she want me to wait for another attack to happen again?!"

 

Jeongyeon and Jihyo let her speak. They preferred Nayeon verbally letting out her anger here, in public, rather than going back home and destroying it once again. They had seen the aftermath of what has become of her house. They were heartbroken to see Nayeon acting like this, but they couldn't blame her.

 

"How could she just tell me to do what I _have_ been doing for the past year, and expect some small hint of good to come out of it? How could she tell me _that_ , when the last time I waited like this, Mina literally _died_? That _bitc_ -"

"Nayeon!" Jihyo warned her before Nayeon went on cursing someone who was doing her job.

"And want to know the worst part of it all? Her father doesn't even care either," she ridiculed. "You know what _he_ told me? He was already preparing for her funeral. Her _fu-ne-ral_! How... how can he run out of hope like that? How could he give up before I did?"

She laughed bitterly.

"Is Mina dead in their eyes already? Am I the only one who is wishing for a bright future for her? Huh?! Or... Am I being delusional and... and just clinging unto false hope?"

 

Nayeon hated this feeling. She hated thinking she was wishing for something that wasn't going to happen. She hated thinking Mina didn't have a chance.

 

She let out a loud grunt of rage, hoping that the rest of her frustrated mood would seep out as well. 

 

She couldn't even cry her way out of this feeling.

 

She was just... angry.

 

 

-

 

  
Nayeon slept over Jihyo's place that day. Jihyo was scared of what Nayeon would do if she went home alone. They were still cleaning up after everything was left in shambles.

Jihyo saw that Nayeon didn't get an ounce of sleep that night. Nayeon had been on her phone the whole time. She figured it was better if she was distracted so she didn't say anything.

But what Jihyo didn't know was why Nayeon was suddenly acting strange in the morning. It was as if her outburst from yesterday hadn't happened. The reckless Nayeon she knew wouldn't have calmed down in just one night.

What Jihyo didn't know was that Nayeon had discovered something that could change everything. Something that Tzuyu left out during all their appointments. 

 

Something that seemed to give Nayeon hope, but why was Nayeon's behaviour scaring Jihyo instead?

 

 

-

 

 

"What about a heart transplant?"

 

Nayeon's direct question took Tzuyu aback. So Nayeon had done her research. It was the one solution Tzuyu tried her best to hide from Nayeon, but she shouldn't have expected anything less from her finding out about it.

"Miss Im, while a heart transplant is a considerable option for treatment, the chances of her getting a donor depends on the urgency of her situation, the size of her heart, her blood type, and even the region we currently live in. Not to mention the already limited amount of donors available."

"So what does that mean in the end?"

"Basically, we _can_ put her in the waiting list, but I cannot guarantee she will get one in less than 6 months. And you and I both know that that is too long of a wait for her current condition."

Tzuyu saw something in Nayeon's eyes. There was a reason why she hid this treatment from Nayeon. And she was about to witness it happening.

She saw Nayeon open her mouth to say something and she wanted to stop her. But Mina's state didn't let her. Tzuyu was torn, but she couldn't say anything. This was something she couldn't get in the way of. It wasn't her choice to make.

 

"Then what if I..."

 

 

-

 

 

Nayeon lay on Mina's bed, legs under the same blanket. It took a long time for Nayeon to even consider stepping on it again, for fear of something happening.

A month has passed. Or two. Nayeon didn't keep track of anything these days. As long as she was with Mina, she didn't care what else was happening.

Mina was comfortably cradled between Nayeon's body and her arm. Mina was distracting herself by re-bandaging Nayeon's bruised fingers. She made sure to softly kiss each and every one of the cuts she saw. Nayeon shut her eyes at the comforting touch and relaxed for the first time in what felt like an eternity.

 

_"Your blood type and size are... compatible with Miss Myoui."_

_The smile on Nayeon's face was one of the widest Tzuyu has ever seen._

_It was a smile full of pure joy and relief, one she rarely saw on Nayeon lately._

_Should she be happy for Nayeon? She still didn't know._

_But it disturbed her how it didn't look like the smile of someone whose death was being planned in advance._

 

Mina looked paler by the day. She felt light in Nayeon's arms. Nayeon could've been carrying just a pillow or two, and she wouldn't even notice the difference. _It's 'cause all the life is being sucked out of her_ , Nayeon inwardly joked in bad taste.

There wasn't much time left. Nayeon knew it. But Mina looked like she knew it as well. They were both left just following the doctor's orders and waiting for a donor to appear. But... why did Mina look calmer than Nayeon?

 

_"Miss Im, how am I supposed to tell her that we suddenly found a donor right after I recently told her that the estimated waiting time is no less than 6 months?"_

_"I don't know! Just tell her that! Or just... just lie to her, but just..." Nayeon begged._

_Nayeon was on her knees now, bowing with both hands on the floor._

_"Just please don't tell her anything..."_

_Everything was going perfectly. She did all the tests, and she was going to save Mina. She was desperate._

_"Please."_

 

Nayeon was inconsolable. She realized Mina was also hiding how much it hurt. Mina was hiding the fact that knew what was coming and it broke Nayeon. It broke her, but it convinced her of her decision even more. 

"Okay, I'm done," Mina nodded, as she checked over her work. "Is it alright?"

Of course it was alright. It was more than alright. Everything Mina did, everything Mina touched, was perfect. _I'm going to miss her voice_.

She interlocked their fingers, Nayeon's bandaged ones contrasting between Mina's soft ones. They still fit correctly together. _I'm going to miss her touch, too._

"Yes. You do a better job than the doctor," Nayeon joked, giving her a small peck on the side of her forehead. "But..."

"But what?" Mina adorably turned her head, concerned that she had made a mistake.

Her innocent eyes made contact with Nayeon's, and Nayeon's heart leaped. _Ah, her eyes_ , Nayeon reminded herself, _I'm definitely going to miss them_.

"But now it looks like I have to rely on you now to wrap up my injuries," Nayeon playfully pouted.

" _Nooo_ , I don't want you to get hurt anymore," Mina softly giggled. "Tell me you'll be okay from now on, right?"

Nayeon looked into Mina's eyes and suddenly remembered what she said about her mother.

 

" _Am I going to become like her, Nayeon? Am I going to make you believe I'm getting better, when in reality I'm not_?"

 

Is this how Mina's mother felt? Is this what went through her mind when she pretended like nothing was wrong with her? Just so her family would continue looking at her with love and joy, rather than regret and sorrow?

Is this what fueled her from pretending that everything was alright, that everything was going to _be_ alright? Is this why Nayeon was hiding the biggest secret of her life from Mina, whom she vowed to share everything with?

No, nothing was wrong. That was what she was trying to convince Mina. What she was trying to convince herself of.

 

_"Am I going to hide the fact that I might die tomorrow, just so we could spend our last day together in happiness?"_

 

_No, Mina, you aren't going to hide anything_ , Nayeon thought. She tightened the grip on their hands. She didn't want to leave Mina. She truly didn't. But she wanted to spend their last days in contentment like this. In comfort like this. In love like this.

 

_Let me do all the dirty work for you, my love_.

 

"Don't worry," Nayeon whispered into Mina's hair.

 

She didn't have it in her to force a smile.

 

"I'll be okay."

 

 

-

 

 

"The final preparations are ready."

Nayeon sighed out of relief. The tests were finally over.

"Miss Im, are you sure you want to do this?" Tzuyu asked after a pause.

Tzuyu wasn't trying to convince her of anything anymore. This wasn't about it being a right or wrong thing to do. This was about Nayeon giving her life to Mina. She wanted to make sure Nayeon was completely aware of what she was about to do.

 

"Yes."

 

She has never been more sure about anything.

 

 

-

 

 

Nayeon took a deep breath before going in. 

 

This would be the last time she was ever going to enter this room.

 

She should be happy... right?

 

Her hand shakily reached for the knob, but couldn't find the strength to turn it. She couldn't even find the strength to properly grip it.

 

She wanted to wait one more day. Just one last day. So she could see Mina for another day, just one more. Just one last 24 hours.

 

But the longer she delayed this, the more she was going to put Mina at risk. All her efforts would amount to nothing.

 

She stared at her unmoving hand. _Just turn it, Nayeon, just_... 

_You're wasting time_ , she reminded herself.

 

She slowly, relunctantly, twisted it open, cherishing the last time she was ever going to do this. Cherishing the last time she was ever going to see what was behind the door. 

 

And there she was. Winter was almost over, and the soft sunlight from the closed blinds were shining on her perfect sleeping figure. It looked like she was a precious gift from the heavens, untouched and pure. Nayeon tightly gripped the hem of her spring jacket, and bit back her tears. She didn't want to leave Mina.

 

It was still early in the morning. It was the day of Mina's surgery. And Nayeon's. 

 

Nayeon remembered how nothing hurt her more than when she told Mina that she had an early shift at work on this day, and could only see her at this wretched time. It was a lie. It was a lie, but Mina believed her. And that hurt Nayeon even more. 

 

_"But you'll be here when I wake up, right?" Mina asked innocently, hands intertwined._

 

_"Yeah..." Nayeon kissed the back of Mina's palm and comforted her bittersweetly, "I'll be with you._ "

 

Mina was sleeping on her side. Nayeon approached and gently moved her bangs out of the way of her beautiful face. She leaned in and placed a lingering kiss on Mina's forehead, making sure not to wake her up just yet. She needed time to gather up her strength to not look broken in front of her.

She was supposed to be happy... right?

Nayeon held Mina's soft hands in hers. Nayeon's hands were still rough, still stained with scars, still unworthy of Mina's touch. It was unfortunate. Nayeon couldn't even provide Mina with the best during their last moment together.

 

_"Babe, what happened to your hands?" Mina exclaimed out of horror. It was the first time she saw the wounded state of Nayeon's hands._

_"Oh, there was an accident at work," Nayeon lied, once again. "But at least I can put my ring on, see?"_

_"Didn't it hurt when you put it on with all these stitches?" Mina worried, gently running her thumb over Nayeon's palm._

_"It hurt more when I wasn't wearing it."_

 

Nayeon lovingly stared at Mina. She listened to her own heart beating for her. For the last time.

Everything she did right now was for the last time.

She shook all her memories away. She wanted to focus on the present. She wanted to focus on the Mina in front of her right now.

 

When she said she was going to give her everything to Mina, she didn't think it would mean like this.

 

When she said she was going to love Mina with all her heart, she didn't think it would mean like this.

 

When she said she wanted to be with Mina forever, she didn't think it would mean like this.

 

"It's alright, babe, your suffering ends here," Nayeon whispered as she carressed Mina's cheek. _My suffering ends here, too_. "You might hurt a bit more once you wake up, but... promise me you'll get over it, okay?"

 

She shakily brought up Mina's hand to her own cheek.

 

"Promise me you'll... get over the pain. Promise me you'll get out of here and... live your wonderful life again," Nayeon couldn't hold back her tears.

 

"Promise me you'll... you'll get over me... and... you'll find someone new, okay? Someone who won't... bring you pain. Someone who can... live with you for the rest of your life..."

 

Her vision blurred up. She couldn't see Mina anymore. She could only feel her tears running down her face. She could only hear her quiet sniffling and that damned heart monitor beside her. She felt a hint of happiness now. She wasn't going to hear that noise ever again.

 

"Someone who will _stay,_ " Nayeon shattered.

 

She must've gripped Mina's hand a bit too hard, when she heard Mina shuffling on her bed. Nayeon panicked, this wasn't how she was supposed to look in front of Mina. She was about to wipe away her tears when Mina stopped her.

"Don't you usually put makeup to work, or is it some sort of bare faced day I wasn't aware of?" Mina asked, smiling, as she was the one to wipe Nayeon's tears off her face. "Because your crying isn't smudging anything."

Mina leaned in for a good morning kiss, and Nayeon's mood suddenly lifted. Unfortunately, not by much.

"I wanted you to wipe off my tears of _happiness_ , so I was going to do my makeup later," Nayeon lied. She just kept on lying. 

 

She wasn't allowed to wear makeup in the operating room.

 

Nayeon used the remaining time she had left to comfort Mina, to tell her everything will be alright, that everyone's excited for when she finally recovers. She used the remaining time to lie about how she would be waiting to drive her back home, about how they would have a lot of things planned, about how Nayeon wasn't breaking inside trying to hide her pain. Should she cherish this moment as well? This was the last time Nayeon was going to hide everything from Mina.

But this was the last time she was ever going to see Mina's gummy smile lighting up the room.

This was the last time she was ever going to hear Mina's sweet laugh that made her heart skip a beat. 

This was the last time she was ever going to hug Mina so closely, to hold her hand, to whisper delightful things in her ear, to play with her hair, to kiss her, to... to be with her.

It came to the point where it pained Nayeon to look at Mina, to look at the first love of her life. The last love of her life.

She gulped the pain down as she saw it was time for her to go to 'work'. She stood up and leaned in to give Mina a soft kiss on the lips, on the only lips she wanted to taste for the rest of her life. This was their final moment of intimacy.

"You're beautiful, you know that?" Nayeon beamed at Mina. 

The light was now shining behind Mina. She really was a gift to Nayeon. She really was her light.

 

_Thank you for being in my life_.

 

"If I had a dollar for every time you told me that, we would be rich," Mina smiled back. 

Mina was happy that they've gone through all of this together, through all the happy moments, the hardships. Mina was grateful that Nayeon stayed with her through everything.

 

"I _love_ you, Nayeon."

 

Nayeon felt her heart thump into her chest. She stopped at the doorway. She wasn't sure anymore. She didn't know if what she felt was from love or from misfortune. But she knew Mina deserved only one of them.

She turned around to face Mina.

She wanted to tell her the truth, wanted to scream out how she wanted to be by Mina's side forever, wanted to beg Mina to stop her from doing what she was about to do so they could be together.

But she couldn't.

So with the biggest, brightest, most genuine smile she could manage, she said the last words Mina was ever going to hear in her voice.

 

 

"I love you, too... Mina."

 

 

_Just promise me you'll be okay._

 

_And thank you again._ _For everything._

 

 

 

-

 

 

" _You've reached the Myoui household, please leave a message and we'll get back to you as soon as we can._ "

 

A long, deafening beep.

 

" _Hello, Mr Myoui? It's Nayeon._ "

 

A short pause.

 

" _You can start preparing the funeral again_."

 

 A small chuckle. A muffled sigh. Of happiness? Relief?

 

" _But..."_

 

Guilt?

 

 

_"... it won't be for Mina this time_."

 

 

 

 

 

\---

 

 

_I will never let you fall_

_I'll stand up with you forever_

_I'll be there for you through it all_

_Even if saving you sends me to heaven_

 

 

-

 

 

The familiar crisp smell of disinfectant. A blinding light above. Faces around staring.

 

 

Doctors. Family. Friends.

 

 

They became more and more familiar as her vision started to clear.

 

 

She had made it. She was alive.

 

 

 

But...

 

 

 

Her heart was there, but everything else felt empty.

 

 

 

" _We found a heart donor, Miss Myoui._ "

 

 

 

What was missing?

 

 

 

 

Nothing should be missing. She had a new heart. She was alive.

 

 

 

" _You are... extremely lucky,"_ _Tzuyu's voice sounded like it was concealing something, but she didn't pay attention to it._

 

 

 

But why were these familiar faces suddenly not familiar anymore?

 

 

 

Why were these familiar faces suddenly not what she wanted to see?

 

 

 

" _We found a heart donor, Miss Myoui,_ " Tzuyu's voice echoed in her head.

 

 

 

 

 

 

_Oh_.

 

 

 

 

 

 

She realized what Tzuyu's voice had been hiding.

 

 

 

 

 

_This was some kind of sick joke, right?_

 

 

 

 

 

This heart wasn't _hers_.

 

 

 

 

 

_She'll be here after work, right?_

 

 

 

 

 

This heart couldn't be  _hers._

 

 

 

 

 

_... Right?_

 

 

 

 

 

 

"... Nayeon?"

 

 

 

 

 

 

She thought her soft voice would break the silence. She looked around, thinking, _hoping_  someone would reassure her.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

But why did the silence suddenly feel louder?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

END

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IM KIDDING


	11. Outro

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mina's POV :)

\---

 

 

_I will never let you fall_

_I'll stand up with you forever_

_I'll be there for you through it all_

_Even if saving you sends me to heaven_

 

 

-

 

 

The clouds gradually dissipated, clearing the way for the bright star. The blue of the sky warmed up as it approached late afternoon. The birds still flew around peacefully, chirps faint in the middle of the field. A ruffling of the grass interrupted the calm sounds of the traveling wind. The shadows of two figures briefly shaded the grey stone, before one left, leaving the other crouched down beside it. A soft hand slowly brushed through the engraved letters, the rain of yesterday had washed all the dust away.

 

 

_In loving memory of_

_Im Nayeon_

_"To live in hearts we leave behind is not to die."_

_1995 - 2024_

 

 

A year has passed. A long, tiresome year, but a year nonetheless.

 

"Hey. It's me."

 

A smile appeared on her face as her heart seemed to beat harder. As if it knew every time she visited. She clutched at her heart, enjoying the warmth that spread throughout her body, and not only because of the sun shining down on her. On them.

 

"Sana doesn't like to show it, but she misses you too."

 

She stared back at Sana in the distance, who was leaning against her car door. She was wearing her sunglasses, and seemed to relax into the feeling of her now light brown hair in the wind, waiting for Mina. 

A year has passed. But Mina still needed to be accompanied everywhere. Her family history had made her recovery a bit longer than usual.

 

"But I'm recovering," she explained. "Thanks to you."

 

The doctor had told her that the heart was a perfect match. As if it was made for her. As if it belonged to her.

She ran her hands through the grass, picking off stray leaves from her grave. It reminded her of the times she arranged the stray hair strands on her forehead.

 

A lone cherry blossom petal fell on the back of her hand. She gazed upwards to one of the few cherry blossom trees in the distance and wondered how it made its way here. She softly chuckled.

"You couldn't even wait until the blossoming season..." she said as she stroked the petal. "You could've at least watched them for one last time..."

This was only the second time Mina had visited her. Her first time was right when they burried her, and she didn't take it too well. She didn't really have the opportunity to talk. They had to pull her away before she dug right into the fresh ground (which was another reason why Sana was here with her).

But it hurt her just as much being here as well.

"Now I have to watch them bloom alone... again."

That was a lie. Mina had refused to look at the trees last year. They were associated with too many good memories gone awry. Too many good memories that Mina had to accept were gone now.

 

_Speaking of memories..._

 

She pulled out a familiar looking scrapbook from her bag. One marked with faint blood marks on its edges, and dried out tears on its cover. Half of it had been left empty, seemingly for Mina to continue adding onto it.

She opened it on the last page Nayeon decorated. The iconic polaroid of both of them during their graduation day was glued in the middle of the page. The words ' _Every end marks a new beginning..._ ' written in a fine point left Mina with a bittersweet taste in her mouth.

_That idiot... what was she thinking..._

Mina had found it on their bed when she got home... When she actually decided to go home. Weeks spent at the hospital, followed by weeks spent at her father's home made way for dust to build up on the book.

She had refused to come close to their appartment, much less stepping inside. She never thought she would be ready to go back, knowing there wouldn't be anyone waiting for her once she opened their door. Knowing she wouldn't come back to a smile, of which two teeth were more prominent than others. Knowing she wouldn't come back to the burning smell of someone trying to cook. To the whining of someone who had lost their phone again. To someone who had slept the whole day instead of being productive. 

 

Knowing that she wouldn't come back to...

To _Nayeon_.

 

She remembered one step into their home was enough for her to start breaking apart. It felt so empty. The dark blue paint of their bedroom walls felt like ice to her eyes. The light of the sun didn't help warm the cold air filling up the place. For once, she didn't like being in their home.

"How cruel of you..." she whispered, staring at the blank page next to Nayeon's last message.

_How cruel of you to have me complete this with my own memories_ , she thought. _When you wouldn't be here to see it_.

_How cruel of you to wish me a happy life, and not be a part of it_.

She remembered how Nayeon never brought her camera in the hospital, how she not once took a picture of Mina on that hospital bed. 

" _Why would I want to remember this sad moment?_ " Nayeon's explanation resonated in Mina's head.

Nayeon should've. Mina should've convinced her to picture everything.

Nayeon should've taken all the pictures she wanted if she knew it would be their final moments together. Now Mina didn't have any photographs of how Nayeon looked in their last few months, in _her_ last few months. She only had them in her mind, but her mind was full of too many other things for Mina to want to dwelve in them.

 

"How cruel..." she continued, shakily turning the pages that Nayeon filled, going through all the notes, reminiscing through all the pictures.

Did Nayeon think Mina wouldn't find out about what Nayeon did to the house? Did Nayeon think Mina wouldn't notice when her clothes weren't in the same order she usually put them on, when their chairs had been replaced, when there was a crack in their kitchen table Nayeon tried to cover up?

Did Nayeon think Mina wouldn't find pieces of glass from the mirror she probably broke, or from the frames that once held the pictures that were now in the scrapbook?

_Did you think I wouldn't find out that the scars on your hands were because of me? That the scars in your heart were from you hiding your pain from me?_

She felt her emotions surfacing again. She held back a cry. She couldn't start tearing up already. Not yet, anyway. 

She was a bit too busy with her health to properly grieve. This was the first time she was opening up, unfortunately to someone who couldn't even respond. 

 

She couldn't hold her crouching position for any longer. She sat down on the grass, not caring about the dirt, still slightly damp from the day before, staining her jeans. 

"They told me that your parents visited you once. But even in the end, they... they..."

She heard about the visit through Jihyo. They still had vile words in their mouth. They were still as unaccepting as before. It almost seemed as if they came to make sure Nayeon was _dead_ , rather than to mourn about the loss. Than to apologize for their mistakes. Than to feel sorry for their own daughter giving her own life for love, for the love they couldn't believe was real. It almost seemed as if they _blamed_ her for it.

"It's okay, babe... At least you have me here... right?"

Mina brushed it off. She brushed off the thought that if Nayeon had listened to her parents, she would be here. She would be living a different life, but she would be living. She didn't want to hear it. She didn't want to think it.

"My mother was the reason I turned out this way... but you're the reason I'm alive."

Nayeon's parents didn't deserve thinking they were right. Nayeon's parents didn't deserve Nayeon.

 

Mina felt like she didn't deserve Nayeon, too.

 

She felt like she didn't deserve Nayeon's unselfish love. That she didn't deserve to be alive at this moment. That Nayeon should've kept all that love for someone who would've been with her to the end.

"How dare you..."

_How dare you leave me like my mother did?_

"At least my mom, she... she lived for longer," Mina said as she pulled her legs closer, "She made a family, she... we... we could've done the same, babe... babe, we could've... we could've done the same."

Mina hated how it felt. She hated how this shouldn't have happened so soon. She hated how Nayeon left her so soon. She hated how they were still young, still able to do so many things. She hated how she was the cause of their unhappiness. 

"I should've... _I_ was supposed to die, babe..."

Her heart hurt again. Everything felt like it happened yesterday.

"Babe, why didn't you just let me die? How... how could you leave me alone like that?"

She was suddenly glad Sana couldn't hear her. She would've been taken back to that horrible white building again. She was glad Sana couldn't hear her whimpering through the sound of the wind growing stronger as the sun began to set. At least the breeze helped her tears dry off faster.

She missed Nayeon. She will always miss Nayeon. But she didn't want to miss her.

Nayeon's own friends tried appearing strong in front of her, as if they knew that was what Nayeon wanted. Even until now, Nayeon was still thinking of her.

"When I first w-woke up, I..." she mumbled, harshly wiping the tears off her face with her back of her hand, "I refused to believe it, I-"

 

_"Where is she?!" was all she could let out before her voice turned into a coughing fit._

_Her weak body had desperately tried to get up from her bed, even if she had just woken up._

_She remembered almost passing out once more as she hit the ground and broke down._

_She remembered the bruises they had to treat, the bruises that weren't supposed to be there from her surgery._

 

"I was so... so  _angry_ , babe, I... I almost... almost..."

 

_She remembered Tzuyu instantly grabbing her thin wrist before Mina tried to reach for the closest sharp object._

 

"I didn't think this is what you meant when you said your heart belonged to me."

 

Mina's body didn't reject Nayeon's heart. Mina, Tzuyu, everybody, would've been devastated if it didn't work out in the end. If Nayeon's efforts were put to waste.

 

"Can't we go back?" Mina sobbed as she stared at one of the pages. It had their first selfie they took together.

If Nayeon's tears and blood stained the cover, then dirt and Mina's tears were going to stain the inside.

"Can't we go back in time? Can't we go back in time and... and argue about the little things?"

_Can't we go back in time, where our biggest problem was Jinyoung? Where we would disagree about where your lava lamp should be placed? About how our outfits didn't match?_

"Can't we go back in time and fall in love once again?"

She missed the times where Nayeon used to call her Myoui Mina. She missed calling her Nyeon. She missed the feeling of slowly falling in love. She missed their first awkward moments in a relationship, missed gaming with her on her lap, missed telling her to buy ketchup when she went out, missed her warmth, missed...

"I miss you so much, Nayeon, please, I... I..."

_Can't we go back so I could at least spend one last anniversary with you before you left?_

"... I wanna go back..."

She dug her nails into the ground and cried harder between her knees.

She missed her lame attempts at flipping pancakes in the morning, her comforting talks when Mina felt down, her cute attempts at hiding her jealousy when Mina got hit on by others, her smug face when she practically announced to the world that they were engaged.

It was simple. She just missed her.

 

"But, babe, did you know you were beautiful, too?"

Mina recalled Nayeon's constant compliments about her hair, her eyes, even her _breathing_. Mina laughed out in the midst of her tears. _She could talk about me for hours_.

"Why do you always talk about my smile, when yours is the brightest one I've seen?"

Mina did compliment Nayeon, but Nayeon was so shameless and public about showing Mina off, that people thought it was only one-sided.

"You know your laugh is beautiful too. I always told you to not be ashamed of your adorable bunny teeth. They were as lovable as you."

Mina knew that Nayeon wouldn't have forgiven anyone talking about her teeth, except for Mina. Mina could hear her reply in her voice now, " _As long as you love even the smallest part of me, being loved by you is one of the best feelings._ "

"You kept talking about me, but when will you realize that your heart is beautiful as well?"

 

But her joy was short-lived. The reality started to hit her again. Her growing smile slowly turned into a frown.

"I'm still sorry about pushing you away..."

She recalled the spiteful words she threw at her wife at the hospital. 

"It was when I realized... when I realized there was no hope for me..."

At some point, between the constant visits of the doctors, between the look in their eyes, the look in _Nayeon's_ eyes, she knew what was coming. They were all trying to hide the truth, but she knew. She knew her end was approaching, but she had to be strong and accept it. She had to be strong for Tzuyu, who had done everything she can to help. She had to be strong for her father, who couldn't afford to lose another. She had to be strong for Nayeon, who was gradually breaking down in front of her, who was equally pretending to be strong.

Mina didn't continue. She thought she was doing her a favour when she tried to force Nayeon away. She thought that Nayeon didn't deserve anything that was happening to her. That Nayeon didn't deserve all the pain she was going through because of Mina. That Nayeon would be better off with someone who wasn't stuck in the hospital 24/7.

Mina didn't have it in her to tell Nayeon how she looked so _hurt_ , so _dead_  every time she visited her. Not in front of her like this. Not in front of her _grave_ like this.

"It really hurt..." she murmured.

It hurt when Nayeon accepted defeat and walked away. Mina thought that she had successfully destroyed Nayeon to the point where she couldn't even fight back. She thought that it would be the last time she would see her.

It hurt her to think that she was the cause of all of Nayeon's suffering. But she also hurt at the thought of Nayeon moving on. Mina knew that it was what she had told her to do, but she couldn't be happy for Nayeon. She wanted Nayeon all for her sick self.

But she didn't say anything. She didn't tell her that Nayeon returning still didn't give her hope. She didn't tell her that she was still awaiting her death, but pretended to gain strength just for the sake of Nayeon. Her selfish self didn't tell Nayeon that she was glad that she came back, even if their love would last one more month, one more week, or even one more day, because what mattered was that Nayeon came back to _her_.

 

But in the end, Nayeon was full of surprises.

 

Mina didn't get to tell her anything. Mina didn't get to tell her just how much she loved Nayeon. Mina didn't get to tell her how she fell in love with her at first sight. Mina didn't get to tell her... to not give her life for her own.

"Babe, can't you see I'm trying?" she lifted up her teary-eyed face towards the tombstone, whose shadow was the result of the moon now beaming above her. She was here for too long. "Can't you see that I'm... I'm trying to forgive you? That I'm trying to... to just accept that you're not here anymore, babe? Can't you see that I'm trying to move on... to move on from you?"

It was hard for Mina. It was hard for her not to go a day without thinking about Nayeon. It was hard for her not to go an hour without muttering her name. It was hard for her to sleep in her house, knowing Nayeon should be there next to her. It was hard for her to even breathe, knowing Nayeon was the reason behind it.

"Can't you see... that you're asking for the impossible?"

She couldn't move on. She would never move on until she saw Nayeon once again. Warmth took over her once she knew that Nayeon was waiting for her up in heaven.

She stared up at the sky. She let out one last tear at the thought of the dark sky being illuminated by multiple stars, and that infamous moon. It was the sky that was with both of them since the beginning. That sky that marked every step of their journey together.

 

 

It was as if Nayeon was right here listening to her, watching over her. It was as if Mina had her very own guardian angel.

 

 

"Hey, look, babe, look... Babe, it's a... it's a crescent moon, babe," she forced a smile out of her, hoping she would share her enthusiasm with her beloved wife buried deep underneath her. 

 

 

 

"Didn't you always say how my eyes looked like that when I smiled?"

 

 

 

 

 

 

END

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YES this is the actual ending hfsjdls  
> and if you made it this far... thank you for reading!! and hope you enjoyed the story!! :)


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